i Page 5312 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here Are 14 Things You Will Say To Your Kids A Million Goddamn Times
I have three kids. They don’t fucking listen. One day, God as my witness, they will listen. They will stop, turn around, not talk for five seconds, and say to me, “Wow, I never thought of it that way before. Thanks, Dad!” I swear it will happen. I will destroy entire countries if I have to make it s...

There Is No Hockey News So Here's Jamie Benn Being An Idiot
Stars captain Jamie Benn dished out a team-high 52 assists last season. He is a generous teammate and a selfish lover:...

Whose Disgusting Baseball Chin Is This?
Welcome back to Whose Disgusting Baseball Chin Is This? a regular feature in which we ask readers to identify a baseball player based on a closely cropped image of his disgusting chin. So, whose chin is this? Use the image slider below to find out....

Five Years Ago Today, Bengie Molina(!) Hit For The Cycle
Baseball’s still on a break, so take a second to remember an unexpected feat that happened five years ago today: Bengie Molina hit for the damn cycle....

<i>Teen Mom 2</i> Is Back: Why Are We Still Watching This Shit?
The sixth season of MTV’s Teen Mom 2 is upon us, disrupting our Thursday nights with the usual turmoil: custody battles, problematic exes, run-ins with the law, souring relationships, and so forth. At this point, the four young stars of the series, who we first met in 2010 on the network’s flagship ...

Let's Remember Some Guys
We were looking at a list of MLB players who have hit for the cycle, and noticed that Jody Gerut is on that list. Maybe you’ve forgotten about Jody Gerut :( But now you remember him. Let’s remember some other guys:...

Reports: Colin Cowherd To Leave ESPN, Join Fox Sports
Notable smegma man Colin Cowherd is ending his tenure at ESPN and apparently bringing his show to Fox Sports. (While a deal isn’t yet finalized, that seems like a formality.) The Big Lead’s Ryan Glasspiegel first reported the move....

First FIFA Official Arrested For Corruption Extradited To U.S.
Swiss authorities have approved the extradition of one of the seven FIFA officials who were arrested on corruption charges in Zurich two months ago. The unnamed official was handed off to a three-man U.S. police escort and flown to New York, according to Reuters....

![Fight Between Bad Softball Dads Ends In Blood [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1343405192833485859.jpg)
Fight Between Bad Softball Dads Ends In Blood [Update]
We don’t really have much context for this video. According to the person who sent it to us, it took place before or after a girl’s softball game in Maryland, and the pre-fight argument seems to have something to do with one man’s daughter being kicked off the team. Anyway, these are very bad dads! ...

This Water Slide Is So Long I Think I'd Get Bored Halfway Down
Action Park, in northern New Jersey, unveiled this absurd 1,975-foot water slide last week, and it has since been verified by Guinness as the longest in the world. Water slides are great, of course, and you’d think the longer they are the better. But about a minute into this ride, I’d already be won...

How's Tiger Woods's British Open Going So Far?
Not great, my friend! Not great at all....

Longtime Patriots offensive lineman Dan Connolly has announced his retirement. Connolly, 32, told ESPN that he could have played another year or two, but decided to retire now due to health concerns. He has been diagnosed with four concussions during his NFL career, and suffered a fifth while playin...

Plaxico Burress Blasts Nick Saban, His College Coach
Alabama lost to Ohio State 42-35 in the Sugar Bowl, and at SEC Media Days yesterday Nick Saban advanced a bizarre theory to explain that loss. He says that team chemistry was harmed by players learning about their NFL Draft grade in the days leading up to the game, and that somehow hurt preparation....

Trinidad And Tobago Draw Mexico With Last Second Corner Kick Goal
Before a largely pro-Mexico crowd in Charlotte, Trinidad and Tobago almost threw away their Gold Cup match, before eventually completing a stunning comeback in the 93rd minute. Joevin Jones delivered a perfect corner kick amidst lasers shining in his eyes and bottles raining down on his head, and Yo...

Wisconsin Senate Votes To Give $250 Million To Billionaires
The Wisconsin Senate voted 21-10 to approve $250 million in public financing for a new arena for the Milwaukee Bucks. The bill will now be sent to the state Assembly for approval. Though the Assembly is likely to pass it, there is still some backroom negotiating and deals to be completed beforehand....

Floyd Mayweather Beaten, Taunted By Woman
The ESPY Awards–a celebration of ESPN’s ability to celebrate celebrities—are being handed out tonight as ESPN takes advantage of the lull in the U.S. sports schedule. We’ve already had one memorable moment, even though the official ceremony has yet to begin. On the red carpet, MMA star Ronda Rousey ...

Deadspin Up All Night: Let's Stay Out
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. We’ll watch TV so you don’t have to. ...

Here's The Best Sports Highlight Of The Day
You thought today was a slow sports day? Well, look again!...