i Page 5321 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
All White Everything: The Glorious Badness Of <i>Enter The Ninja </i>
Ninjas tend to wear all black because they want to move around in the dark without being seen, right? Like, that’s the whole point of being a ninja? I’m asking this because the hero of 1981’s Enter the Ninja is a white ninja, in both senses of the word: He’s a Caucasian man who’s become a ninja, and...
How To Move Across the Country, One Step At A Time
Last winter, after waffling between leaving or staying in Brooklyn for close to four years, I finally bit the bullet. I decamped to Seattle. I used to think I couldn’t live without an egg & cheese from the bodega, McGolrick Park, or Pete’s Candy Store (where there’s no candy, but plenty of liquor). ...
How The Hell Did Evan Gattis Turn This Pitch Into A Home Run?
Getting the bat on a shoulder-high pitch is one thing, but what Evan Gattis did to this Trevor Bauer fastball last night boggles the mind:...
The Home Run Derby Field Is A Good One
We are—dare I say—excited about next Monday’s Home Run Derby in Cincinnati. A radical new format promises more action in less time, and the eight participants, announced last night, don’t have a stinker among them....
![Mark Cuban Calls ESPN Dipshit Chris Broussard's Reporting "Ridiculous" [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1333104085409666407.png)
Mark Cuban Calls ESPN Dipshit Chris Broussard's Reporting "Ridiculous" [Update]
One of the more hilarious things to come out of the DeAndre Jordan Hostage Crisis of 2015 was the work of always-wrong ESPN doofus/bigot Chris Broussard, a grossly stupid man and bad reporter....
Oh, Canada
Canada settled for a scoreless draw in Gold Cup action against El Salvador in Carson last night, but only because Orlando City striker and #1 MLS overall pick Cyle Larin blew a wide open shot on goal in the first half. What a pity....
FIFA Bans Chuck Blazer For Life
Chuck Blazer—the former FIFA exco member and CONCACAF general secretary who proved that Americans can be just as venal as any other soccer executive, but whose cooperation with the feds helped lead to May’s arrests and indictments—has been banned for life, effective immediately....
The NBA's Salary Cap And Tax Level Just Went Up: Here's What It Means
The NBA announced that the salary cap and tax levels will take a huge jump for the 2015-16 season, increasing by 11% and 10.3% respectively. Here is the full memo:...
It Was A Crazy Night, But DeAndre Jordan Re-Signed With The Clippers
One of the most bizarre free agencies in NBA history is set to draw to a close, and the ending is definitely the weirdest part about it....
Report: Jason Pierre-Paul Had His Right Index Finger Amputated
Schrödinger’s firework-mangled defensive lineman has come to an apparent resolution, at least as far as the immediate severity of the injuries. ESPN’s Adam Schefter has tweeted out what he says is a medical chart showing that Jason Pierre-Paul had his right index finger amputated today, after suffer...
Keith Olbermann Is Out At ESPN
Less than two years after his triumphant return to ESPN, Keith Olbermann is back in the job market again. ESPN announced that the Olbermann show will conclude at the end of the month, and released the following statement:...
Deadspin Up All Night: Make The Sex Cry
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Prayers up!...
MLS Invents New Rule To Help Big-Market Teams
Traversing MLS’s ever-shifting labyrinth of player transaction rules has always been nigh-impossible. And somehow or other, now the league has sprouted yet another alleyway to get lost in. Luckily, no matter how winding the path is, you always wind up in the same place: whatever’s best for the big-c...
A Sure-Why-Not Theory Explains Why The Mavs Might Lose DeAndre Jordan
DeAndre Jordan was all set to become a Dallas Maverick last week, but now he might be staying in Los Angeles after all, and everyone is wondering what the hell happened. Well, good news! We just received an illustrated theory from a tipster that lays out a very compelling case for how the Clippers g...
Here Are Some Athletes You Should Bone Instead Of Cristiano Ronaldo
The consensus view is that Portuguese soccer mega-star Cristiano Ronaldo, currently being a weird brand robot in Japan, is not just a good-looking and sexy athlete, but perhaps the best-looking, the sexiest male athlete. But nah. His facial features are too small, his eyebrows too sculpted, his chin...
Prayers Up For The Pirates' Tarp Man
As the Pirates’ grounds crew struggled to spread the tarp on the field in inclement weather Tuesday night, one man was nearly consumed by the polyethylene menace before Andrew McCutchen and Sean Rodriguez came to help. Before today’s game, someone created a respectful memorial for Tarp Man....
The DeAndre Jordan Standoff Will Be Won With Emoji
DeAndre Jordan’s having second thoughts about where he wants to sign, so now the Mavericks and Clippers are standing at either side of him, clapping and telling him to walk to them. Dallas thought it had an agreement with Jordan, but now the Clippers are making a desperate second effort. The Maveric...
What's Going On With Jason Pierre-Paul?
We still have absolutely no idea if Jason Pierre-Paul will be ready to start the season, or if he had his blown-up hand awkwardly replaced by a tiny doll hand. The Giants don’t seem to know either, oddly: after three unsuccessful days trying to visit their DE in a Miami hospital, they’ve returned to...
21 Session IPAs, Ranked
Craft-beer enthusiasts like to argue, complain, and explain. I wonder if there’s any demographic commonality behind this exhausting pattern of behavior. Someone should look into whether perhaps a lot of them have graduate degrees, alcohol problems, and pale-colored penises, for instance. Or maybe th...