i Page 5322 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Keith Olbermann Is Out At ESPN
Less than two years after his triumphant return to ESPN, Keith Olbermann is back in the job market again. ESPN announced that the Olbermann show will conclude at the end of the month, and released the following statement:...
Deadspin Up All Night: Make The Sex Cry
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Prayers up!...
MLS Invents New Rule To Help Big-Market Teams
Traversing MLS’s ever-shifting labyrinth of player transaction rules has always been nigh-impossible. And somehow or other, now the league has sprouted yet another alleyway to get lost in. Luckily, no matter how winding the path is, you always wind up in the same place: whatever’s best for the big-c...
A Sure-Why-Not Theory Explains Why The Mavs Might Lose DeAndre Jordan
DeAndre Jordan was all set to become a Dallas Maverick last week, but now he might be staying in Los Angeles after all, and everyone is wondering what the hell happened. Well, good news! We just received an illustrated theory from a tipster that lays out a very compelling case for how the Clippers g...
Here Are Some Athletes You Should Bone Instead Of Cristiano Ronaldo
The consensus view is that Portuguese soccer mega-star Cristiano Ronaldo, currently being a weird brand robot in Japan, is not just a good-looking and sexy athlete, but perhaps the best-looking, the sexiest male athlete. But nah. His facial features are too small, his eyebrows too sculpted, his chin...
Prayers Up For The Pirates' Tarp Man
As the Pirates’ grounds crew struggled to spread the tarp on the field in inclement weather Tuesday night, one man was nearly consumed by the polyethylene menace before Andrew McCutchen and Sean Rodriguez came to help. Before today’s game, someone created a respectful memorial for Tarp Man....
The DeAndre Jordan Standoff Will Be Won With Emoji
DeAndre Jordan’s having second thoughts about where he wants to sign, so now the Mavericks and Clippers are standing at either side of him, clapping and telling him to walk to them. Dallas thought it had an agreement with Jordan, but now the Clippers are making a desperate second effort. The Maveric...
What's Going On With Jason Pierre-Paul?
We still have absolutely no idea if Jason Pierre-Paul will be ready to start the season, or if he had his blown-up hand awkwardly replaced by a tiny doll hand. The Giants don’t seem to know either, oddly: after three unsuccessful days trying to visit their DE in a Miami hospital, they’ve returned to...
21 Session IPAs, Ranked
Craft-beer enthusiasts like to argue, complain, and explain. I wonder if there’s any demographic commonality behind this exhausting pattern of behavior. Someone should look into whether perhaps a lot of them have graduate degrees, alcohol problems, and pale-colored penises, for instance. Or maybe th...
Report: The Clippers Are Trying To Win Back DeAndre Jordan
Apparently convinced that their offseason wasn’t already embarrassing enough, the Clippers are now trying to convince DeAndre Jordan, who has already agreed to sign with the Mavericks, to go back on his deal with Dallas before it becomes official and stay in L.A. Or so says ESPN’s Marc Stein:...
Cristiano Ronaldo Has A Great Time Getting Felt Up On Japanese TV
They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Apparently the aphorism applies a little differently to cyborgs. New evidence shows that a finger or five on Cristiano Ronaldo’s laser-cut abs turns him into a giggling schoolborg who will love you forever....
J.J. Redick Would Like To Give The Clippers An "F-Minus" In Free Agency
It’s been a rough week for the Clippers, who lost star center DeAndre Jordan to the Mavericks—in part because Chris Paul might be a nightmare to play with, and in part because Jordan sees L.A.’s long term-viability is in doubt....
Rory McIlroy Will Miss The British Open
That ankle injury that Rory McIlroy suffered while playing soccer will indeed keep the golfer out of this year’s British Open. McIlroy announced that he’ll be missing the tournament with a sad Instagram post:...
![Report: Buccaneers Player Injured Hand In Fireworks Accident [Updates]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1331912445180490638.jpg)
Report: Buccaneers Player Injured Hand In Fireworks Accident [Updates]
Giants defensive end Jason Pierre-Paul might not have been the only NFL player to hurt himself with fireworks over the holiday weekend. Roy Cummings of the Tampa Tribune says Buccaneers cornerback C.J. Wilson injured his hand in a fireworks accident on July 4th....
My Dad's Terrible Child-Care Activities, Ranked
School is out. What the hell are we going to do with these kids? Camps cost a fortune. Sports leagues are a pain in the ass. And who wants to stare at another listless, self-aware gorilla at the zoo? What a downer!...
Reaction To A Free Agent Signing, From Someone Who Attends Nets Games
As a corrective to the bullshit Knicks, the Nets had exactly one or two things going for them. Now they have one fewer. ...
Zach Mettenberger Fires Back At J.J. Watt, Is Now A Dead Man Walking
Titans quarterback Zach Mettenberger sat down for an interview with CampusSports.net, and in the middle of answering standard questions about football or whatever, he signed his own death warrant....
This Blackhawks Flipbook Is Neat
Via Puck Daddy, a flipbook of the Blackhawks’ Cup-clinching Game 6....
Clint Dempsey Has Something To Prove
The USMNT’s Gold Cup opener was their first competitive match since the World Cup, and in the broadest sense, it’s all about the next one. Jurgen Klinsmann has said repeatedly how 2015 is a year of “transition” for the roster—reloading, getting younger, starting up the position battles that will pla...