i Page 5453 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The USMNT Should Boycott The 2022 World Cup
Today FIFA announced that they are formally moving ahead with plans to host the 2022 World Cup in Qatar in November and December of that year, with the final being played a week before Christmas. As you may already know, Qatar's World Cup infrastructure is being built using Moses-era slavery practi...
"Make Hummus, Not Walls": A Food Tour Of Ramallah
It was somewhere around the first bite of m'sakhan and the second glass of arak that I started to think that my panic had been unfounded. "Unfounded" is a strong word. Misdirected, perhaps. But I'm getting ahead of myself. ...
Tim Howard Kinda Just Chills With His Hands Down, Watches Goal Go In
I know. I know. It was a great goal from Dynamo Kiev's Andriy Yarmolenko. Someone should've, could've stepped to the ball, at some point. Tim Howard probably couldn't have gotten to it anyway. I know. That's all out of the way....
Iowa State Blows It; UAB Wins By A Point
Fred Hoiberg's squad didn't get a second game to show off their style of play. Third-seeded Iowa State lost to UAB 60-59 after Naz Long's potential tying three missed, and the ball went in as a two-point shot with less than a second remaining. This was the Blazers' first tournament win since the...
Lionel Messi And Cristiano Ronaldo Find Their Final Forms
For a depressingly large group of actuarial soccer fans, this season's thrilling edition of the duel between temporally and cosmically entwined superstars Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi has mainly served as another set of cudgels to club down the other's reputation and legacy. Go deeper, becau...
Demetrius Jackson Leads Notre Dame On A Razzle-Dazzle Fast Break
14-seed Northeastern brought the fight to Notre Dame today, but eventually lost 69-65 after crapping away a chance to tie it up in the closing seconds. Before that, though, Notre Dame guard Demetrius Jackson pulled off this slick bit of dribbling and passing on a fast break. So far, this is the high...
Red Stripe: Rightfully Beloved In Kingston And Cambridge Alike
If you live in the Northeastern United States, you need to move, because tomorrow's the first day of spring, and it's going to snow. Believe me, I'm just as tired of whining about the weather as you are of listening to me whine about the weather, but it's been so relentlessly abominable that I can...
Life Ain't Easy For A Basketball Player Named Fuck
That up there is a real headline, in a real newspaper, on a real story about a real basketball player named Guilherme Crabogiale Fuck....
Failure To Pay Office Pool Winnings Leads To Sad, Overwrought Email
This overwrought email, sent by the winner of a March Madness office pool to the irresponsible pool administrator who was dragging his or her feet with payouts, comes to us from a tipster who tells us that he dusts it off every March for a good chuckle. We don't blame him....
How to Cash Out Your Change
It's around 3 p.m., and I'm starting to run out of gas. My brain just has no juice. I'm a writer, and I work best in the mornings, so I try to be typing by 7:45 a.m., and with any luck I make it till 4 before the gears start to grind and the works gum up. But not today. Today, by like 3:15, the wo...
If You Like Overrated Teams That Will Let You Down, Root For Georgetown
Listen. My dad grew up in DC. My mom went to Georgetown, and was an extra in The Exorcist. College Allen Iverson is, in my opinion, the greatest basketball player of all time. I grew up playing ball with Austin Freeman. One of my best friends went to Georgetown, and another one is an assistant coach...
If You Like White People, Root For Lafayette
The Lafayette Leopards have been to the NCAA tournament three times; they have never won a game. They probably won't get their first victory tonight against Villanova—6:50 p.m. on TBS!—since a No. 16 seed has never beaten a No. 1 seed in the tournament. However, we still want to take a minute and re...
The Most "What The Fuck State Is This College In?" Colleges
This post was originally published on March 22, 2013....
Sean Penn Is Way Too Weird To Be Your Next Great Action Hero
If nothing else, The Gunman gives us a scene in which Sean Penn goes surfing. Of all the mysteries of centuries of American film, one that has always vexed me in particular is, "How did the doof who played Spicoli turn into that guy?" If you haven't watched Fast Times at Ridgemont High recently—an...
If You Like Not Being Scum, Root Against Coach K, Who Is Scum
Look. I hate Coach K. You hate Coach K. Everybody hates Coach K. Nobody needs a reason to root for somebody else—anybody else! Attila the Hun! Sauron! anybody!—to win the NCAA tournament. What I am saying is that you should actively root against Coach K. Root for his defeat. Root for his Virtue and ...
If You Like Anteaters, Root For UC Irvine
UC Irvine is in the dance for the first time as a Division I basketball program. Congratulations, Anteaters. Wait, Anteaters?...
If You Want Blood And Guts, Root For Kentucky
Maybe you're one of those people who pushes all the difficulty sliders in your favor when you play NBA 2K15, or forces all the other teams to trade you their best players when you start up a Madden franchise. Maybe you only enjoy victory when it's achieved on the most destructive terms, your opponen...
Kyrie Irving Made Timofey Mozgov's Job Very Easy
Cavs center Timofey Mozgov scored 17 points on 7-of-8 shooting while playing just 17 minutes in last night's rout of the Nets. That's an efficient-ass game! He's got Kyrie Irving, who set up five of those seven made buckets with some beautiful passing, to thank for it....
Deadcast: The Hater’s Guide To The Field Of 68
The tournament is here! Obscure schools! Slow play! Poor shooting! Adorable upsets that are violently corrected in the boring later rounds! It's all here! I'm gonna head to the bar at 1 p.m., eyebang the barstools until a free one opens up, and then get TERRIBLE barstool ass sores over the cou...
MTV Spring Break Used To Rule
Long before Harmony Korine made spring break synonymous with Gucci Mane and bikini-clad robbers, that school-free week of bliss in March was all about something else: MTV. The quasi-holiday inspired some of the best TV programming of the entire year, as the hedonism-obsessed channel decamped its ent...