i Page 5584 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hazing Investigation: Ohio State Band Members Are Horny And Depraved
The Ohio State University marching band is in some shit after an investigation revealed the band to be more or less Porky's with tubas and kettle drums. A report stemming from the university's two-month investigation has quite a few details on the internal goings-on of the Best Damn Band in the La...
Barry Bonds Was An Alien God Who Destroyed Space-Time To Bring Us Joy
Today is Barry Bonds's birthday! The greatest player in baseball history is turning 50. Here is a list of scarcely believable facts about his career, accompanied by videos of him performing impressive feats of speed and strength:...
How Do Other Notable NFL Suspensions Compare With Ray Rice's?
With news coming down that Ray Rice will be suspended a mere two games for knocking out his wife and then dragging her unconscious body out of an elevator, we figured it would be constructive to look back at the length and severity of other notable NFL suspensions from the past....
John Harbaugh Sees Ray Rice's Suspension As A Good Lesson For Kids
Ravens head coach John Harbaugh fielded some questions about Ray Rice during his press conference at preseason camp today, and he decided to invoke "the children," for some reason....
This Was The Line To Buy Vikings Tickets
This photo, from CBS Minnesota, shows the entirety of the line to buy single-game Vikings tickets for much of Tuesday morning, when they went on sale. ...
NFL Statement On Ray Rice Wants You To Believe It Came Down Hard On Him
Here's the full NFL statement confirming the two-game suspension and fine of an additional game check for Ray Rice, for knocking his then-fiancée unconscious in a casino elevator. It is fucking ballsy. ...
Naked Burger Thieves On The Lam In Florida Beach Town
Listen. Sometimes it's 3:06 in the morning, you and a couple of your buddies are wandering around a beach town in various states of undress, and suddenly you have need of 60 hamburgers, three pounds of bacon, three red peppers, and, uh, a paddleboard. Immediately! And the grocery stores are cl...
Deals: Team-Branded Bluetooth Speaker, Home Theater Upgrades
This portable Bluetooth speaker ships with a free Skinit credit to decorate it with the your favorite team, school, painting, pattern, superhero, and more. Oh, and it has great reviews. [Acoustic Research Portable Bluetooth Speaker with One Skinit Credit, $37]...
Hockey Players Photobombed By The Queen Of England
Australian field hockey players Jayde Taylor and Brooke Peris are in Glasgow, Scotland, for the Commonwealth Games, and earlier today posted a photo with an unexpected guest to Twitter. They knew what they were doing, thus making it not a true photobomb, but we'll allow it. Watch out, ladies! She's ...
Theo Epstein Wonders Why The Cardinals Are Getting Extra Draft Picks
Beginning in 2012, MLB's collective bargaining agreement created the Competitive Balance Lottery, meant to give the scrappy underdogs of baseball a hand up with an extra draft pick to help them turn their franchises' fortunes around. The lottery drawing was yesterday. The third pick belongs to the C...
How Frequently Does <em>The New York Times</em> Use "Fart," "Poop," And "Butt"?
This here is a tool that looks up the frequency of words used in the New York Times, both in the percentage of and how many total articles the word appeared in. We put it to terrible use. ...
Tour de France Leader Shoulder-Swipes Dumb Fan's Cell Phone
This year's Tour de France has been filled with no shortage of crashes, some of which have been caused by stupid fans taking stupid selfies. But so far Vincenzo Nibali, the tour leader, has managed to avoid them. Until today....
Ladies, Buy Your Pink Ray Rice Jerseys Today!
Hey, ladies: get ready for the upcoming NFL season with your special Ray Rice jerseys, still in stock on NFL.com. Act fast, though; these won't be around for long!...
NFL Network On Ray Rice Suspension: "The Iron Fist Of The NFL"
Nearly every sane sports fan is offended by the leniency of Ray Rice's two-game NFL suspension for domestic abuse, but don't let anyone at NFL Network know that. They described the suspension today as "dealing with the iron fist of the NFL."...
![Everybody, Especially Blake Griffin, Loves This 6'7" Burlesque Dancer [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/nxg1hwh0chojhfhbyaub.jpg)
Everybody, Especially Blake Griffin, Loves This 6'7" Burlesque Dancer [NSFW]
Amazon Ashley is a person that we were not aware of until today. She is a 6-foot-7 dancer who is best known for touring with Miley Cyrus, but she is also known for other things. One of those things happens to be taking boobsy photos with various NBA players—mostly Blake Griffin....
Reports: Ray Rice Suspended Two Games For Knocking Out Fiancée
As first reported by Yahoo's Rand Getlin, and just now by multiple other reporters, Ravens RB Ray Rice will be suspended by the NFL for the first two games of the season for beating the shit out of his then-fiancée....
Johnny Damon: An Idiot in Exile
Pat Jordan's latest for Sports on Earth:...
Asshole Cannot Find Pen, Writes Entire <em>NYT</em> Trend Piece About It
Even by the standards of fake trend pieces in the The New York Times, today's column in about "The Demise of the Pen" in—where else?—the fashion and style section is exceptionally breathtaking in its presumptuousness. Join me now and marvel as writerer Nick Bilton turns a moment of sheer banality i...
Frank Caliendo Reads LeBron's Letter In Morgan Freeman's Voice
Frank Caliendo went on Mike & Mike today and read LeBron's essay announcing his return to Cleveland in the voice of Morgan Freeman. It's an excellent impression. Just make sure to close the video 24 seconds early so you don't have to hear Greeny and Golic. Like a cold bucket of water, those two. (Up...
How To Get Paid To Drop Out Of Races: A Professional Pacer Tells All
David Rudisha covered two laps of Icahn Stadium under his own flowing power. And Mo Farah, he sliced through the eight laps of the indoor mile with his own knife-sharp legs. Galen Rupp crushed the 1500, Silas Kiplagat, Nick Willis, they all propelled themselves very quickly around an oval. But they ...