i Page 7491 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Jimmer Is Too Famous To Attend The Classes, BYU Says
From the Mormons Reap What They Sow Dept.: Jimmer has had to stop attending classes on the BYU campus because his celebrity is too distracting. Seriously....

ESPN's Joe Morgan Replacement Bobby Valentine Is Not Making A Whole Lot Of Sense
Bobby Valentine, who once proved that it takes no more than a fake mustache and a novelty t-shirt to manage a MLB team (provided, of course, that you already manage said team), is in his second year of his second stint at ESPN. This year, the spotlight's shining extra bright on Valentine, who has ...

Washed-Up Larry Johnson Has Settled His 2008 Drink-Spitting Lawsuit For $100k
Larry Johnson, most recently of the Washington Redskins and this misspelled jersey, has seen his once blossoming NFL career disappear. Now, a lawsuit regarding an inflection point along Johnson's precipitous fall from grace has disappeared too. Perhaps Johnson wants to know if his career can come ba...

Mets Games Plastered With Commercials From This Charming Bankruptcy Lawyer
Everything about this commercial is just so Wilpon-era Mets: Attorney Pankin's accent, his super-starchy collar, his gait, forced as though Tsuyoshi Shinjo's lucky bat is wedged up his ass. And of course the graphics are old, schmaltzy—the only surprise is that they don't evoke the glory days of t...

Jog Angry With Sean Penn And Company
Sean Penn and Scarlett Johansson are dating. Did you know? Here they are, going for a jog together in Malibu. They were reportedly "joined by Owen Wilson on their run." A.J. saw this and said, "I don't like to live in a world where Sean Penn jogs." A.J. did not realize that Sean Penn jogs quite freq...

<em>SonicsGate</em> Creator Just Wants An Unmolested Trip To Costco, A Basketball Team In Seattle
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Seattle still wants an NBA team, Mr. Schultz....

Comatose Giants Fan Shouldn't Have Been Wearing A Giants Jersey, Writes Dumbass
Bryan Stow is the 42-year-old Giants fan who was beaten outside Dodger Stadium and who now lies in a medically induced coma. Stow was wearing a Giants jersey at the time of the attack. I'll let John Steigerwald, a columnist for the Observer-Reporter in Washington, Pa., and a former television anch...

Ex-49ers Color Analyst Possibly Fired For Raunchy Labia-Lovin' Talk (With NSFW Audio)
Gary Plummer was the 49ers color analyst on KNBR for the past 13 seasons until it was recently announced that he would be replaced by another ex-Niner, Eric Davis. The reasons for his departure were vague. The director of broadcasting for the Niners, Bob Sargent, insists that Plummer wasn't fired ...

Wally Backman Verbally Assaults An Umpire, Part 79
Former major leaguer Willy Backman knows how to curse in an umpire's face. He's extraordinarily well-versed in the F-bomb. Backman was recently hired as the manager for the AA Binghamton Mets, but a clip from a documentary series about independent minor league baseball called "Playing for Peanuts"...

Stat and Swizz Team Up To Ruin "Go New York, Go New York, Go"
I mean, yeah, this is better than last year's uninspired Q-Tip offering, but is nothing sacred anymore?...

Here's Your Champions League Open Thread
Two games on this afternoon: Shakhtar Donetsk takes on Barcelona at Donbass Arena, and Manchester United hosts Chelsea at Old Trafford Stadium. They both start at 2:45, and with Chelsea down a goal on aggregate, they must win to advance. But Wayne Rooney, threat to already-cursing children everywher...

This Man Stole $24,000 From A Pee Wee Football League
"The Long Beach Football League is for kids ages five to 12. According to its website, the league's mission is 'to instill the fundamental values of self-discipline, teamwork, leadership, sportsmanship, and mutual respect to the youth of our community.'" And for padding the pockets of 51-year-old Ja...

An In-Depth Logistical Exploration Of Animal Rape
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Find more of Drew's stuff at KSK or on Twitter. Email the Funbag here. Today, we're covering dead bodies, terrifying ear stories, and more....

Venus Serena Williams Returns To The Court In Fabulous Pink Catwoman Outfit
When one comes back from injury, one should do it in style. Maybe Venus Serena will wear the mask part of this ensemble for her French Open warmup tournament in Brussels next month. Please. Photo via Serenawilliams twitter....

The UVA Lacrosse Murder Case Continues On Its Creepy Path To A Grand Jury
The District Court in Charlottesville, Va. has ruled that the now-infamous case that charges University of Virginia men's lacrosse player George Huguely with the murder of his then-girlfriend, women's team member Yeardley Love, has enough evidence to go to a grand jury....

Jenn Sterger Speaks: Never Met Brett Favre, Never Got Paid, Betrayed By Blogger
Sterger appeared on Good Morning America and talked for the first time about Brett Favre and Deadspin and gold-digging and home-wrecking. It's all in the video above. • ELSEWHERE: Jenn Sterger Was Not Flattered By Brett Favre's Dick Pics [Jezebel]...

This Celtics Lowlight Is The Most B-Team Clip Ever
See Von Wafer swoop down the lane. See Von Wafer miss on a wide-open dunk. See Von Wafer believe that he has made the dunk. See Von Wafer face the crowd in celebration. See Von Wafer turn and collide with his teammate, who has collected his offensive board. See Von Wafer make his teammate, Jermain...

Charlie Villanueva And Ryan Hollins Celebrate End Of Miserable Seasons With An Eye-Gouging Affair
The Cleveland Cavaliers, at 18-63, boast the second-worst record in the NBA. The Pistons don't have much more to brag about (although they do have Rodney Stuckey) at 29-52. Neither will have a place in the playoffs following their final regular-season games tomorrow night. So perhaps Detroit's Cha...

Sterger On <em>GMA</em>: Never Met Brett Favre, Never Got Paid, Betrayed By Blogger
Your morning roundup for April 12, the day we remembered how Jeff Buckley's death was a more significant event than that guy from Nirvana's to some folks but this won't help that argument....

Jenn Sterger Talks Life After Brett Favre's Penis With <em>Good Morning America</em> Tomorrow
In case you missed the massive plugs the GMA interview with the Sterg is getting, I'm here to remind you that you may want to set your DVRs tonight or postpone that P90X workout if you'd like to see it....