ick Page 223 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
EA making 'big changes' to <i>Madden 24</i> but I have my doubts
Madden developers must be shitting their britches right now. Despite being the third-best-selling game of 2022 in the U.S., the Madden developers are finally doing something they’ve never done before — putting effort into their product....
Two letters to the editor do not constitute outrage
Kill me if I’m ever so compelled to write into a publication — instead of just leaking that sludge onto social media — to tsk-tsk the Kansas City Chiefs for drinking during a fucking Super Bowl parade. As someone who’s edited uncut letters to the editor before, no one is more self-righteous than the...
The Toronto Maple Leafs load up for their first-round exit
The Atlantic Division in the NHL was already a hell gauntlet. With the Boston Bruins suddenly turning into a team of frost giants that can skate (then again, it’s probably likely frost giants could always skate, given the conditions in the Jotunheim), it’s only become more so. It’s just three teams ...
Deion Sanders’ recruiting philosophy perpetuates racist stereotypes — and contradicts his family structure
After still being unclear as to what his style of play is on offense and defense after three seasons at Jackson State University, Deion Sanders has now informed us on what he looks for when he’s recruiting, as he prepares to enter his first season at the University of Colorado. Unsurprisingly, his i...
Which former Los Angeles Lakers guard is going to hurt their new team the most?
The Los Angeles Lakers’ first half of the 2022-23 season was so putrid, they spent it trying to offload their backcourt. In the end, there were takers for Russell Westbrook and Patrick Beverley. It wasn’t the teams that traded for Russ and Pat Bev at the deadline though as each guard was promptly bo...
The top five landing spots for post-buyout Russell Westbrook
Do we still have to take Russell Westbrook seriously? I mean, if you can’t play with LeBron James or Kevin Durant, who can you fit next to? Whichever franchise signs him next will be his fifth in six years (unless he ruins it back with the Wizards), and we’re firmly in “This guy might be out of the ...
Get to know your new MLB rules
Leather is popping, grunts from a mound are being emitted, and GMs are already coming up with lame excuses in the sun — it must be spring training! Pitchers and catchers have reported in Florida and Arizona, and very soon there will be actual games played. They won’t count, of course, and will be ac...
When it comes to trades, Kyrie Irving can’t have it both ways
The player-empowerment era has created more avenues for athletes to flex their own team-building ability, but Kyrie Irving’s Saturday media availability during All-Star Weekend touched on an issue he’s extremely familiar with — trade requests. Irving’s response to inquiries about the topic illustrat...
‘Ambassador’ Karl Malone, bumbling Knicks, and more forgettable moments from All-Star Saturday Night
All-Star Saturday has always had cookout vibes, and McClung earned another invite for next year. But someone had to bring the unseasoned cole slaw. Karl Malone’s presence as an ambassador and a judge who got entirely too many nods from the NBA and the broadcast made things way too awkward. Malone — ...
Ranking every NFL player's performance on <i>Saturday Night Live</i>
Coming off his second Super Bowl victory, Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce hosted Saturday Night Live on March 4. Among the many lovable characters the NFL has to offer, Kelce has to be one of the least camera-shy. Love him or hate him, the man knows how to rile up audiences. Whether he’s m...
Tiger Woods’ joke wasn’t just sexist, it was prop comedy
If Tiger Woods thought the “joke” he made after teeing off on the ninth hole at Riviera Country Club on Thursday was appropriate, he wouldn’t have been so sly about it. Golf fans needed a telephoto lens to catch it, but once they figured out, it was widely shared, celebrated, or disparaged, and then...
2023 NBA Anti-All-Stars: The dregs of the East
The NBA All-Star Game is an honor bestowed upon the most distinguished hoopers every season. Unfortunately, that’s not what we’re doing here. Their time will come. However, the NBA’s worst rotation players deserve to receive their dead flowers too. Stare into this dark void with me and commemorate t...
The New York Knickerbockers are hot, so what’s their ceiling?
The New York Knicks are officially hot for the New York Knicks. They’ve won six of the past eight, and eight of 12. New addition Josh Hart is 9-of-14 from deep in his first three games (all wins) with his old Villanova teammate Jalen Brunson, and Tom Thibodeau has enough talent that Derrick Rose is ...
The White Sox want you to know they’re just dumb, not evil
One of MLB’s biggest problems, and it spreads to other leagues as well, is the amount of buck-passing that seems to take place when there’s a serious issue. Whenever there’s someone like Mike Clevinger being investigated for domestic abuse or something else awful, a team is waiting for the league to...
Being a backup QB is the best gig in all of sports
Amid the controversy surrounding the holding penalty at the end of Super Bowl LVII, rumors of Andy Reid’s retirement, and people trashing Travis Kelce for saying everyone doubted Kansas City when absolutely zero people doubted them, several other storylines have been overlooked. While Andy Reid may ...
Something’s gotta change for Eric Bienemy to become a head coach
It was another year in which the Chiefs’ offense looked dominant en route to their second Super Bowl in four seasons. Missouri’s only NFL team has hosted a conference championship game each of the last five seasons and was defeated in regulation zero times. Patrick Mahomes gets the spoils as the bes...
Parade Pat returns, Travis Kelce shoots Fireball, and more from the Kansas City parade
The only time the internet gets joy over someone else’s happiness is when they’re drunk and making a fool of themselves. That’s why we loved parade Klay Thompson in June, and adored Patrick Mahomes from a few years back. Even Tom Brady throwing the Lombardi between boats was entertaining, and there ...
It’s time for our yearly 'Don’t buy Carolina Hurricanes stock' column
It comes from a place of heartbreak. It’s hard to not become smitten with the Carolina Hurricanes. They play fast. They have a rabid fanbase. They have a lot of players that are easy to like. They have a coach in Rod Brind’amour who’s happy to explain things to fans and isn’t a complete meatball (he...
Patrick Beverly is doing what he does best — running his mouth
Patrick Beverly is at it again, doing what he does best on and off the court, and that’s running his mouth. On the latest episode of The Pat Bev Podcast, Beverley talked about what happened in Los Angeles regarding why they didn’t win....