ick Page 342 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

More Than You Probably Wanted To Know About The Rules On A Puck Hitting A Ref's Dick And Balls
Just an excellent hockey highlight from Tuesday’s 4-3 Blues win over the Panthers, as St. Louis defenseman Robert Bortuzzo—fresh off of beating the hell out of a teammate in practice—tried to dump in a puck and ended up banking it off of referee Tim Peel’s biscuits, past goalie Roberto Luongo, and i...

It's Pretty Messed Up That The Red Sox Might Be Shedding Payroll
The championship window is rarely open as long as you’d like or expect it to be—just ask the 2014 Red Sox. And the current defending World Series champs can see it coming. In the next two to three years, Boston is going to have to worry about the following players hitting the open market: Chris Sale...

Goal Disallowed After Puck Ricochets Off Unfortunate Referee's Dick And Balls
The Florida Panthers are up on the St. Louis Blues by the score of 1–0 in the second period Tuesday night. The score looked for a moment like it would be tied at one goal apiece, after Blues defenseman Robert Bortuzzo beat Roberto Luongo in, um, unconventional fashion:...

Jimmy Butler: I Pooped On My Timberwolves Teammates Even Worse Than You Thought
New 76er and true cheesebutt Jimmy Butler appeared on teammate JJ Redick’s podcast this week, where he discussed, among other things, the circumstances of his exit from the Timberwolves. That’s a terribly cursed sentence, given what it describes, but these are two provolone-ass individuals, before w...
![Nicki Minaj Has Beef With, Uh, Former Giants QB Jesse Palmer [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/qxkvgbfbzt7hqr4l5tpw.jpg)
Nicki Minaj Has Beef With, Uh, Former Giants QB Jesse Palmer [Update]
You remember Jesse Palmer, right? Former Florida quarterback, bad NFL player, The Bachelor contestant, not Carson Palmer’s brother ... you get the gist. Well, he currently hosts a fluffy news show for the Daily Mail called Daily Mail TV, and apparently he did something today to provoke the ire of ra...

Of Course Lionel Messi Has Become A Master Of Free Kicks
Lionel Messi is slowing down. It’s a painful thing to admit, but it’s true. As the old saw goes, Father Time is undefeated, and there is no greater testament to how unbelievable Messi was at his peak than the fact that he remains far and away the best player in the world in spite of Father Time’s ef...

LeBron Manages To Accidentally Torment Knicks Fans During Dwyane Wade's Farewell
LeBron James shared an NBA court for the last time with longtime buddy and former teammate Dwyane Wade last night. It was a fun and festive game that ended with Wade throwing up a crazy potential game-tying three and then hugging James right as the buzzer sounded. It also, briefly, left Knicks fans ...

Guy At Knicks Game Unwisely Tries To Get Team Staffer To Sit Down By Tugging On His Coat
Sure, it’s frustrating to have your view obstructed while trying to watch the scintillating matchup that is Nets-Knicks, but if it’s a staffer on one of the teams, don’t grab the person! Don’t grab anyone, for that matter....

Frank Ntilikina Gave The Knicks A "Please Don't Trade Me" Game
Frank Ntilikina racked up three straight DNPs, even on this tanking team with no immediate ambitions. The Knicks are a buffalo carcass out in the plains, and trade whispers flitted around like flies. It was uncomfortably easy to envision the Knicks’ 2017 lottery pick, who is still a basketball inf...

Steelers Waste Amazing Hook-And-Ladder Play Against Raiders With Smelly Wet Fart
For a brief moment, it looked as though the Steelers had become the second team today to pull off a miraculous late-game hook-and-ladder play to snatch a last-second victory. With 15 seconds left in regulation, Ben Roethlisberger, who was on his second attempt at a Willis Reed impression, got the pl...

I Can't Stop Watching These Crazy Pat Mahomes Passes<em></em>
Believe it or not, Patrick Mahomes is still incredible at his job. Facing second-and-one and with an all-but-free down to play with, the Chiefs, and Mahomes, chose to be aggressive and get fun. As Mahomes was scrambling away from Ravens defenders in the pocket, he looked right while whipping the bal...

Luka Dončić Went Nuts For Two Minutes And Crushed The Rockets<em></em><em></em>
With a little over four minutes remaining in last night’s Rockets-Mavericks game, Chris Paul drove hard at rookie Luka Dončić, then used a step-back dribble (and a, uh, conspicuously extended left elbow) to separate for a short jumper in the middle of the lane. The basket gave the Rockets an eight-p...

Reports: Tenshin Nasukawa To Box American In Exhibition Match
According to reports, Japanese kickboxing prodigy Tenshin Nasukawa will be crossing over into another sport on New Year’s Eve, engaging in an exhibition match with a boxer at a Rizin card after weeks of back and forth over the promotional details. MMAFighting reporter Marc Raimondi has information a...

The Knicks Are Patting Frank Ntilikina's Head And Telling Him To Wait Over Here While Mommy Rings The Convent Doorbell
To the surprise of not one single person on earth, a Knicks team missing Kristaps Porzingis and giving major rotation minutes to all of Tim Hardaway Jr., Mario Hezonja, and Emmanuel Mudiay sucks major ass and is losing lots of games. They’ve dropped two in a row and four of five, and they’ve got the...

Welcome To Football Hell
Football can be perfect and beautiful. It can also suck complete and total ass for everyone involved. Today, we travel to Mankato, Minn. for the latter experience....

Derrick Henry Went Old School And Embarrassed The Jaguars
Derrick Henry did much, much more last night against the Jaguars than run 99 yards, impale All-Pro corner A.J. Bouye with a halberd of a stiff arm, shrug Leon Jacobs off like a bathrobe, and then gas half the Jags’ defense, but since he did all that and more on his way to the NFL’s second-ever 99-ya...

Washington's Quarterback Situation Goes From Bad To Worse To Josh Johnson
The Skins tried out several lumpy castoffs after Alex Smith’s injury—including EJ Manuel, Kellen Clemens, Josh Johnson, and TJ Yates—before settling on Mark Sanchez, who didn’t play a down of football last season. Now, with fill-in starter Colt McCoy also out, and Sanchez suddenly the starter, the t...

Joakim Noah Will Emerge From His Crypt, Sign With The Grizzlies
Joakim Noah played 1,055 minutes for the New York Knicks, earning $72.6 million dollars for his service. Highlights from that time include: a perfect mime of his shooting form by DeMarcus Cousins, a 20-game suspension for violating the league’s anti-drug policy, serious injury woes, fights with coac...

Sportswriters Are Too Outraged By Kareem Hunt To Bother To Learn What Domestic Violence Is<em></em>
The video, once again, is brutal. In the recording from The Metropolitan at the 9 hotel in Cleveland, you can see Kareem Hunt shove and kick a 19-year-old woman. The day the video was published by TMZ, Hunt still was a running back with the Kansas City Chiefs. That night, he was cut. Nobody has sign...

Dopey Team Does Cool Thing
The Wizards, who are extremely butt, are beating the Knicks in New York Monday night. The Knicks are also extremely butt, but unlike the Wizards, they have several perfectly good excuses—Kristaps Porzingis is out, Mitchell Robinson and Kevin Knox are in, and Emmanuel Mudiay is starting at point guar...