ick Page 619 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Shaq Lip-Syncs To That One Rick Springfield Song, With Puppets
Shaquille O'Neal loves to have fun, and fun is what you get when you mix Shaq, puppets, and Rick Springfield's "Jessie's Girl." The only thing missing is a Chinese man named Cosmo lighting some fireworks. [Ustream]...

Football Players Get Themselves Charged With Weed Cultivation In Solemn Observance Of Today's Date
Four Louisiana at Lafayette football players were arrested this morning and subsequently suspended indefinitely from the team for alleged cultivation of marijuana. Can't we celebrate Jessica Lange's birthday without the law busting in? [The Advertiser]...

DeShawn Stevenson's Horrifying Neck Tattoo Would Like To Invite You To Watch Basketball
Abe Lincoln: our 16th President. Legendary orator. Possible vampire hunter. And now he's back, in ink form, to get Mavs fans riled up. Jesus Christ, it's got teeth....

Color Me Fucking Shocked: Dick Vitale Loves Tim Tebow
You had to know Vitale would have a chubby for Tebow, the embodiment of heart. It was inevitable. The college basketball sportscaster chimes in today with an unbearable column about why Tebow should be taken high in the draft....

Boston Fan Finally Picks A Winner
After a sweep three straight losses at the hands of Tampa Bay, the Red Sox fall into fourth in the AL East. The Boston media may be panicking, but at least one fan appears to have struck gold....

Book Excerpts That <em>Do</em> Suck: Rick Reilly® On Chess Boxing
Rick Reilly has farted out a new book, Sports from Hell, and ESPN has a sampling: "Q: What wears one glove, chases queens, and isn't Michael Jackson? A: A chess boxer." [ESPN]...

Last Night's Winner: The Chicago Way
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the dueling old point guards, who finally gave folks a reason to care about the Bulls. Just in time for them to get fired....

Phil Mickelson: Your New, Women-Friendly, Morally Pristine Sportswriter Unicorn
Once, not so long ago, a famous golfer was unfaithful to the public image that sportswriters had helped construct for him, and the sportswriters were sad. But then along came Phil Mickelson, and the sportswriters turned him into a Lifetime movie....

Phil Mickelson Enjoys A Donut Unlike Any Other
The morning after his Masters triumph, Phil Mickelson reportedly hit up a Krispy Kreme drive-through in Augusta—this one's for the family!—while wearing his green jacket. Yeah, those stains aren't coming out. [Via Clay Travis/Devil Ball Golf]...

How Did That False Amy Mickelson-Michael Jordan Rumor Start Anyway?
One of the the hottest Google searches today* is for "Amy Mickelson Michael Jordan affair." The results lead to unsourced nonsense about Phil Mickelson's illegitimate love child and his wife banging a basketball star. How the heck did that happen?...

Family Values Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Phil Mickelson, who won his third Masters without even having to cheat on his cancer-stricken wife. Days like this make a sportswriter's job real easy....

The Masters, Lefty, And What's Been Left Behind
Remember when Phil Mickelson was the guy who couldn't win the big one? Seems so long ago. Golf and time have a way of doing that. So, Tiger, this too shall pass....

Unbelievable Video: A Wayward <em>Seed</em> Costs Mickelson The Masters Lead
Let's set the stage: third green. Lefty's one off the lead. A gimme putt. And that's when God and/or nature conspire to deny him....

Impatience To Watch Cavs Turns Deadly
A dispute over a handicapped spot led to a Cleveland man shooting and killing a parking lot attendant before Friday's Cavs game. Put the gun away, people. It's not worth it; they were resting LeBron anyway. [Plain Dealer]...

Last Night's Winner: Golf Pundits
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the fellows who talk, write, and tweet about golf, and who yesterday got plenty to talk, write, and tweet about. Old people! Flowering shrubs! Asians! Redemption!...

Hitler Makofane Demands You Listen To The Name Of The Year Deadcast
People, there is a huge difference between merely looking at your 2010 Name of the Year ballot, and saying those names out loud. And this special Deadcast will prove it. (Listen here, iTunes here.)...

Dunker Kicks Defender In The Nuts, Hangs On Rim In Most Emasculating Facial Ever
Here's Tony Skinn, last seen on these shores helping George Mason to the Final Four, vaulting off some guy's coinpurse and dunking. Skinn, it seems, is no stranger to exploiting a man's pain threshold to attain basketball success. [TheHoopsDoctors.com]...

Alabama Couple Ensures Child Can Never Leave The State
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Mike Vick And Dogfighting's Rise In Philly
Dogfighting cases are way up in Philadelphia since Michael Vick signed with the Eagles. Is it a citywide crackdown, or did Vick bring a terrible fad north with him?...

Tevez Grabs A Hat-Trick As Expected!
Those who followed The Spoiler's advice by having a little Monday night flutter on the Tevez scoring slippers — you're welcome. Go and treat yourself. Above are the all the goals!...