ick Page 628 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tim McClelland Believes In His Heart That Nick Swisher Didn't Tag Up
Anyone else getting tired of umpires holding postgame press conferences to breakdown their poor decision making processes? It's bad enough we have to listen Joe Girardi explain his terrible bullpen moves, but this is getting out of hand....

This Man Did Too Much Blow But Still Passed Out While Eating
Football season is upon us, which means that thousands of angry, horny, feisty pretend fans will converge upon this great nation's red cup-littered parking lots to participate in traditional tailgating revelry. These are not those stories...

StubHub Offering Great Deals On Mythical Mets-Cubs World Series Tickets
For baseball fans who have seen their teams' championship dreams already extinguished, October is the cruelest month. So it doesn't help when some mean website rubs salt in the wounds with offers of imaginary playoff tickets....

Reporter Is Unamused By Our Tale Of Minor-League Cock Hijinks
Recently, Giants farmhand Garrett Broshuis shared the story of his teammate's dong-waggling mating ritual, which Garrett likened to the furious, metronomic beating of a toy drum. And now, the reporter for whom the drum was furiously, metronomically beaten is outraged....

It's A Dutiful Play In The Neighborhood
You know it's one of those postseasons when the umps are getting ripped even for getting the calls correct....

Cardinal Hoops Players Face Justice, Pitino Style
Louisville's Jerry Smith and Terrence Jennings were charged with misdemeanor counts of resisting law enforcement. Their coach says "it's serious" and they will be punished....just not in any way that involves playing time. Yes, that serious! [ESPN]...

A Children's Treasury Of Rick Reilly®'s Heat-Related Similes
Rick Reilly®, who yesterday brought word that Colt McCoy's girlfriend is "hotter than shrimp vindaloo," has long shown a fondness for thermodynamic analogy. We've collected a few examples, with helpful visual accompaniment....

More Commenting Changes Are Afoot: Wake Up And Read On...
Good morning, early risers/late night partiers. It's going to be a hectic, confusing day here at Deadspin (and most of Gawker media's sites) because, once again, they're dicking around with the comments recipe. Let's chop it up....

Chris Bosh Now Owns The Internet
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Rick Reilly®'s Hornball Simile Propels Colt McCoy's Girlfriend Into Momentary Google Fame (UPDATE)
Colt McCoy, Rick Reilly® writes, "has a girlfriend hotter than shrimp vindaloo, Rachel Glandorf." The first thing you'll notice is that he's analogizing a woman to Indian cuisine. The second: He names her, awkwardly. And now look what he's done......

Delighting In Rick Reilly®'s Massively Wrong Broncos Predictions
Reilly® has written many nasty things about "Boy Blunder" Josh McDaniels and the Broncos, presumably because the latter hired the former to replace his tandem-bike partner, Mike Shanahan. Now that Reilly's 4-12 prediction is a mathematical impossibility, let us revisit....

Josh McDaniels Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Josh McDaniels, who won the weekend by proving that he's not a foolishly incompetent man-child. Yes, the bar was set pretty low....

Great Moments In Ill-Considered Headlines
The Wall Street Journal commemorates the Red Sox sweep at the hands of the Angels with this doozy—"Boston Goes Down in a Fiery Crash." Wow, Nick Adenhart's memory was more inspiring than I thought. [WSJ]...

What Michael Vick Needs Now Is More Media Exposure
Speaking of racially charged topics, Michael Vick is going to have a reality show on BET. (Sorry, a "docu-series.") Is this just a re-run of the one we've been watching on ESPN for last two-and-a-half years? [LATimes/700 Level]...

What’s The Next Big Late Night Scandal? LET’S PLAY ODDSMAKER!
I was deeply offended by David Letterman's admission last week that he shits where he eats. Not on any moral issue, mind you, but because it gave me a mental image of David Letterman fucking....

Marshall's AD Is Surrounded By College Girls
Until he can find permanent housing, Mike Hamrick is living in an all-female dorm wing. He's living every man's dream, except the women are all half his age. So, yeah, he's living every man's dream. [The Parthenon]...

Rick Reilly® Has Found A New, Bizarre Way To Express His Oral Fixation
Teeth jokes are out. Tongue-bathing is in....

Zombie Pat Tillman Would Be Playing For Bill Belichick Right Now, Peter King Reports
In March 2003, the United States embarked on a misbegotten and illegitimate war in Iraq that would have profound and sadly irrevocable consequences on ... the 2005 NFL free-agent market. So says Peter King....

Rumeal Robinson Does Not Sound Like Good People
The former NBA player and University of Michigan star screwed his adoptive mother out of her house at 2 Rumeal Robinson Place. [Wicked Local via The Sporting Blog]...

Monday Night Football Makes Brett Favre Horny
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....