il Page 1232 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Will Johnson Responds To Alleged Gay Slur With Gorgeous Free Kick Goal

It was a feisty match tonight at Jeld-Wen as the Timbers pulled out a 1-0 win over San Jose thanks to a blistering Will Johnson free kick that's as good as any we've seen in MLS this season. It was Portland's best revenge after Earthquakes forward Alan Gordon appeared to deliver a gay slur in Johns...

Now It's Bubba Watson Who Carded A 10 On Augusta National's Par-3 12th

It's called Amen Corner, but today it's been devilish—even for the defending Masters champ....

The Yale Bulldogs Are Your 2013 NCAA Hockey National Champions

Yale over Quinnipiac, in Pittsburgh, 4-0. That's it. Yale wins the championship. I assure you, it's been a long time coming....

Kobe Bryant Will Fuel His Comeback By Imagining Naysaying Media Even As Media Continue To Nuzzle Kobe Tenderly

Sorry for yet more Kobe coverage on an otherwise pleasant Saturday, but as we could’ve witnessed the last of the man for the next, oh, ever, it’s worth trying to figure out whether and how he could come back from the most appropriately named injury in sports. During the press scrum after his apparen...

FA Cup Semifinal Gets Violent As Millwall Fans Fight Cops, Each Other

Hooliganism became the word on everyone's lips today after an FA Cup semifinal in which the action in the Wembley Stadium stands overshadowed that on the pitch....

Congratulations to Tim McCarver on graduating from law school, though we think it's a bit silly he wore his academic regalia to the broadcast booth....

Kobe Bryant Sustains Probable Torn Achilles, Vents About It On Facebook

Kobe Bryant went down in a heap last night against the Warriors, and the Lakers say the 34-year-old probably tore his left Achilles tendon. That's especially grim news for a guy who'd already been making all sorts of wistful noises about retirement....

That's Good Parenting

It's 32 degrees in Minneapolis tonight, and there are two children at Target Field without shirts on....

Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <i>The Fresh Beat Band</i>

A regular look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. Image by Jim Cooke....

<i>The Daily Show</i> Takes On NCAA, Leaves Smoking Crater

The Daily Show's Aasif Mandvi ventured into our familiar waters last night with a lengthy piece that delved not just into Minnesota wrestler Joel Bauman's NCAA-verboten singing career but Ed O'Bannon's megaton lawsuit....

Your Primer On 14-Year-Old Tianlang Guan's Prodigious 1-Over Day At Augusta National

Winning after the first round at Augusta National is the boy tied for 46th place: Tianlang Guan, the 14-year-old who as the youngest competitor in a major since 1865 sits just on the cut line at 1-over....

Danny Amendola's Father Sues Cowboys Stadium Over Runaway Golf Cart

Willie Amendola, father of Patriots receiver Danny, has filed a lawsuit in Dallas County court. It names as defendant Cowboys Stadium, which is operated by Jerry Jones, and seeks at least $1 million for injuries and "great personal anguish and embarrassment" caused when Amendola was run over by a se...

I Have A New Grill, And I Feel OK About It

I had a grill—a cheap, off-brand, bizarrely squircle-shaped charcoal kettle job, which I picked up for a few bucks at Big Lots (which, for the unacquainted, is a name for what is left strewn on the landscape when a giant comes lumbering down the mountain, lifts up a Wal-Mart, holds it upside down, a...

Police Cited 61 People For Underage Drinking Outside The Phillies Game

If you've ever wondered what would happen if someone actually cared to check IDs at a tailgate, here you go. Sixty-one poor bastard minors, each of whom only took one sip, c'mon man, can't you let it go just this one time?...

ESPN Executive Asks Talent To Stop Being All Bitchcakes On Twitter [UPDATE]

ESPN sent out a memo today reminding everyone that employees' personal Twitter feeds are to be used "to serve ESPN sanctioned efforts." They're not to be used as a way to settle scores with critics and colleagues. Writes ESPN VP Laurie Orlando:...

"I Love Boobs" Gets The Approval Of The Carolina Hurricanes Pre-Game Show

We ordinarily try to avoid recognizing personalized jerseys, but we're making an exception just this once because poor Chantel McCabe of Fox Sports Carolinas happened to make that gesture just as that Penguins fan stood in that spot....

The judge who let Penn State's lawyer into the grand jury room says whether that decision should spoil the criminal case against the three university administrators accused of covering for Jerry Sandusky is not his call. Also, the trials for those three administrators probably won't take place until...

Papa John Is Allegedly A Huge Lightweight

Now that a picture of a completely shithoused Papa John has made its way around the internet, we can only hope that others who have stories about getting faded with the Papa will find the courage to tell their tales. Here is one such story from a Fark commenter, who claims that P.J. is a whiskey-swi...

"Stats Not Always Reflect What's Real," Says Beleaguered Goalie-Poet Ilya Bryzgalov

The Flyers season may as well have ended yesterday, a 4-1 loss to the Islanders that put Philly's playoff chances at just above five percent. And yet Ilya Bryzgalov sat the night out. That just seems wrong for the man who rarely gets a game off, and has become the symbol of an expensive failure of a...

The Zombie Invasion Has Begun, And They Are Targeting San Francisco

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