il Page 1387 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Once Upon A Time, Serena And That Same Chair Umpire Laughed Off Her Hindrance And They Replayed The Point
...And everyone lived happily ever after, until last night in Flushing....

Brian Billick Said The Rams "Had Some Sex With The No-Huddle Offense"
It was just a slip of the tongue, but Billick knew what he said: the awkward pause, then the repetition of the statement, emphasizing the success St. Louis had been having with the no-huddle offense. A natural mistake. Sex is very much like the no-huddle offense. Furious, improvisational, and usua...

Before Losing The U.S. Open Finals, Serena Williams Told The Umpire She Was An Unattractive Hater
Wow. Before Serena Williams got done wasting 73 minutes of everybody's time in losing the U.S. Open 6-2, 6-3 today, she made sure to tear into the chair umpire for a whole bunch of things related, and not related, to being issued a court violation for yelling at the opposition. Poor thing....

Young Kansas City Fan Just Seems To Get What Coach Haley's All About
Buffalo Bills 41, Kansas City Chiefs 7. Bro....

Denard Robinson Took Just 21 Seconds To Lead Michigan's 80-Yard Game-Winning Drive Over Notre Dame
Your morning roundup for Sept. 11, a day to remember those we lost. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The Video That This Phillies Fan Made May Be The Strangest Fan Video You'll Ever See
When tipster Kevin W. sent in this video of a Phillies fan's interpretation of, Christ, who knows what this is except "JGarzzle."...

Watch A Chelsea Player Take Cleats To His Back And Decide For Yourself Whether It Was Intentional
In today's EPL match between Chelsea and Sunderland, Juan Mata of the former felt some cleats drive into his back from the foot of opponent Phil Bardsley....

Now The Phillies Have Decided To Affect The Outcome Of Milwaukee's Sausage Races
"Before the top of the sixth began, [second baseman] Pete Orr forgot to look both ways when exiting the dugout and accidentally stepped in front of five racing sausages. He ducked between Polish and Italian but smacked into Hot Dog. The fans booed the sheepish Canadian, who smirked as an entire du...

Where Did Ryan Fitzpatrick Go To College, Again?
From Peter Richmond at Grantland:...

Always Clean The Blood Off Your Hands Before You Hook Up
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....


Nyjer Morgan Is Trying His Damnedest To Engage Albert Pujols In A Middle School Fight
Just about a month ago, we heard from the local broadcast crews as they reacted to the last Brewers-Cardinals skirmish (they were predictably biased). Last night, the two teams clashed again, and loveable kite enthusiast Nyjer Morgan was—predictably—at the center of it all....

Here Is Bill Walton Dressed As A Water Bottle, Because We Love You
There is a show called Shark Tank that exists. It has something to do with entrepreneurs and their business ideas and inventions, and Mark Cuban is on it sometimes, and he knows people in basketball. Therefore, here is Bill Walton dressed as a water bottle. [Twitter]...

Kobe Bryant Was Briefly On Twitter Tonight And Like That, He Was Gone
It was a seminal moment, on Sept. 7, 2011, when Kobe Bryant Tweeted "Can you hear me now?!?!" He quickly broke the 10K follower mark. But then, within hours, those followers were greeted by a message declaring "The profile you are trying to view has been suspended" when they checked back to see wha...

Found: Ole Miss Hat Girl Is Hanna Nutt, Coach's Daughter
Ryan, one of our readers, had been captivated by the Girl In The Hat while watching BYU-Ole Miss the other day—so much so that he asked us to assemble the I-Team to learn her identity. And last night, we went to work....

Shaq Listed "Binnochulars" Under "Special Skills" In His Miami Police Application
The Miami New Times has taken on the admirable pursuit of making every single word that Shaquille O'Neal has ever typed or written available to the public. Through their work, we'd previously learned of Shaq's infidelity, his infidelity, and also his infidelity....

Milan Lucic To Cop Questioning Him About A Fight With His Girlfriend: "Do You Know Who I Am?"
Bruins forward Milan Lucic was not charged after allegedly having an altercation with his girlfriend the other night in which he was "highly intoxicated and hostile," according to this report in the Boston Herald. In fact, the girlfriend told police she was "adamant about not being harmed." Police ...

Phillies OF John Mayberry, Jr. Has Requested That His Agents Set Him Up With The Sexy Mermaid From <i>Pirates Of The Caribbean</i>
John Mayberry, Jr. is a man who knows what he wants. One cannot, after all, become the Phillies' best pinch-hitter without knowing what he wants. But Mayberry is still missing something. Evidently, that something is the Sexy Mermaid from Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides....

Missouri Western Footballers Save Baby's Life, Doom Baby To Life Of Missouri Western Fandom
With 17-month-old Liam Snook accidentally locked inside a hot car, vomiting and starting to pass out, it fell on two Missouri Western State D-backs who were just passing by to rescue the kid. They broke the window, got him out, and gave the family tickets to a game. Parents, please heed this warni...

Milwaukee Brewers, Texas Tech Are Both Very Very Texas
It is always fun when athletes play dress-up, because the idea of tens of men all wearing the same uniform is a kind of dress-up anyway. The Brewers shed their road grays for flannel on their recent trip to Houston. It was all at the suggestion of manager Ron Roenicke, who got the idea of theme road...