il Page 1392 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Today In Good Reasons For Brazil's World Cup Workers To Go On Strike
"Union leader Nilson Duarte said Thursday the work stoppage [at Maracana Stadium] began after a worker broke a leg Wednesday when a barrel filled with chemical products exploded." [AP]...

Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: Judgment Without Pity
Bartolo Colon, Yankee pitcher and existential protagonist, found himself beset by 14 men last night. Nine of his antagonists were Kansas City Royals hitters-including Billy Butler, who launched a fly ball to somewhere around the top of the outfield fence in the third inning. Four more of his opponen...

Wilson Chandler: Probably Not Gay
Wilson Chandler almost made history last night. You'll recognize that this seems impossible—the NBA is locked out, and Wilson Chandler is probably not skilled enough to make NBA history, except as the league's Swingmanniest Swingman, even when the pros are in session....

Knock Out Chris Rix, Win Five Grand: Here's Your Price List For The Miami Hurricanes' Alleged Football Bounties
In Charles Robinson's Miami shitstorm investigation, Hurricanes booster Nevin Shapiro claims that he issued bounties for in-game achievements and targets. We've compiled them for your convenience. Here are the players who supposedly collected:...

Dumb Corporate Beef Becomes Dumb Kobe Bryant-Brandon Jennings Beef
Under Armour has unleashed a new marketing campaign based around the idea that they're a "Change Agent" in the world of sports gear. The company even released a spoken-word promotional video that includes the sentence "Welcome to the revolution." It does a good job of subliminally positioning Under ...

There's Always A Silver Lining To A Serena Williams Injury
"Despite the injury, Williams said she may now attend her celebrity friend Kim Kardashian's wedding this weekend to [Nets] basketball player Kris Humphries. 'Now that I have time I probably will,' said Williams. 'I hadn't thought about it.'" [Yahoo]...

Philip Rivers Doesn't Agree With Or Understand Total QBR
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Rivers isn't much for math, but he knows it when he sees it....

Who Owns "Evil Empire"? The Yankees Launch A Proxy War For Control
Bridgehampton, N.Y., out on the East End of Long Island, is Red Sox territory. The bars along Main Street are decked out in red and will only show Yankees games if there's nothing else on. TVs receive the Hartford network affiliates. Carl Yastrzemski was born on a nearby potato farm and still holds ...

Don't Worry, Carlos Zambrano: Ozzie Guillen And White Sammy Sosa Have Your Back
CSN Chicago reports that Zambrano—whom the Cubs suspended for 30 days, due to a big ol' meltdown—received text messages of support from Guillen and Sosa....

Logan Morrison Was Demoted Because Wes Helms Is A Super-Secret Double-Agent Mole: A Theory
Marlins outfielder/tweeter Logan Morrison was demoted to AAA New Orleans on Saturday night. It was a weird demotion, because Morrison ranks second in OPS on the team (ahead of first baseman Gaby Sanchez, and any outfielders who might replace him) and because the Marlins are 56-64, burnt toast....

11-Year-Old Makes Impossible Hockey Shot, May Get Screwed Out Of $50,000
Little Nick and Nate Smith learned two valuable lessons about life. First, sometimes miracles do happen. From 89 feet out, Nate put a 3-inch hockey puck into a 3½-inch slot. But Nate also learned that insurance companies are the devil, and they will fuck you over, just bend you right over the dash...

Yes, This IndyCar Driver Needed Both Middle Fingers For His Salute To The Race Officials Live On ABC (Update With Video)
Some background to driver Will Power's double-barreled message from today's Indy 225 at the New Hampshire Motor Speedway, courtesy of tipsters Dave and sassojr:...

Get To Know A Comic You Probably Don't Know: Kyle Grooms
Who? Kyle Grooms is originally from New Jersey but started his stand-up career on South Florida's urban comedy scene. Style is quick and clever, punchlines come after the beat, a little like Dave Attell but structured around stories like Birbiglia....

Presenting A Chris Mullin Career Retrospective With Violins And Real Talk
Your morning roundup for Aug. 13, a day that can strengthen you personally, professionally, physically and spiritually. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Get To Know A Comic You Probably Don't Know: Wil Sylvince
Who? Haitian-American Wil Sylvince started doing comedy in New York City. He's a physical comic—meaning a lot of his jokes end in act outs and most of Wil's involve his family. His style is a mash-up of David Alan Grier and Ray Romano. I cannot do this guy justice with a description. Watch the cl...

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Funny People (And Chris Farley)
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. This week we're chipping in with our favorite long-form writing about comedians....

Bartolo Colon-O-Meter: The Annihilation Of The Self Into A Greater Cosmos
Veteran pitcher Bartolo Colon resumed his philosophical explorations yesterday afternoon, facing the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Angels! Emissaries of the divine! But Colon met the Halos with yet another stolid performance: 6.0 IP, 5 H, 2 R, 3 K. One more no-decision, in one more eventual Yankees...

Comedians: Cockblocked By Michael Vick!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Comedy Week curator Luke Cunningham got these four bonus stories from working comedians, so enjoy. Off we go....

The Hidden Message Of That Andover Rap Video
The Andover rap video that made the rounds this week is tacky and annoying, yeah, but to those of us who went to the school, there's more to it than the saccharine entitlement on the surface. When my class graduated from Andover two years ago, we marveled and fretted about the place: The kids are ...