il Page 1433 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
![Merry [Bleep]ing Christmas From Ozzie Guillen](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Merry [Bleep]ing Christmas From Ozzie Guillen
What could be better than the quirky White Sox manager under your tree Christmas morning? This foulmouthed outtake reel, wherein Ozzie tries to sell you his nipples, or something....
Polish Fans Break Out The Flares For Five-A-Side Under-12 Team
We've all been there — in the pub, going round the table, explaining who you support....
Merril Hoge Will Say "Factorback" As Often As He Damn Well Pleases, OK?
Reader Andrew, tired of hearing ESPN's Merril Hoge say "factorback" as if the word actually meant something, recently decided to send the man an email through his website. Soon, Andrew got a testy reply, signed "Merril (Factorback)."...
Bill Simmons And Tawwmy From Quinzee, Together At Last
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
NCAA And Arizona State Both Impose Penalties On ASU Baseball; NCAA's Are Harsher
The Sun Devils' five-time national champion baseball team will endure a three-year probation and a one-year postseason ban for violations that took place during former head coach Pat Murphy's tenure. Murphy, meanwhile, will need a permission slip for his next job....
Everyone At Real Madrid Hates Cristiano Ronaldo
The next few times Cristiano Ronaldo scores a goal and starts doing his "I'm great, me!" celebration shtick, look closely. What's wrong with the picture? Oh yeah, that's it....
How Low Can Joe Paterno Go? What Coaches Do When They Hang Out
Former Texas A&M Coach R.C. Slocum seems like a stand-up guy. That's why we think he won't mind us highlighting some of his favorite photos through the years, as posted on his Facebook page....
Terrence Williams Is Going To Miss The Queens Strip Clubs
Now's an excellent time to call attention to these photos of Williams (red cap) making it rain (with Ron Artest!) at Perfection Gentlemen's Club. Too bad there aren't women who take their clothes off for money in Houston. [What's Poppin, h/t BSnO]...
FreeDarko Also Scrubbed From Bill Simmons's Book
It seems Charlie Pierce wasn't the only critic to get thrown out of the Sports Fella's book. Or maybe there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for this that has nothing whatsoever to do with this? [FreeDarko]...
Sepp Blatter Suggests Gays Should "Refrain From Sex" At Qatar 2022. Dick.
This post, written by Richard Gilzene, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....
Who Wouldn't Want To Remember Last Night's Terrible Game Forever?
No, wait, Brett Favre's streak memorabilia is off the hook. This is the worst piece of opportunistic marketing to come from that Vikings game....
Manu Ginobili's UFO Sighting Explained
Last week Manu spotted something odd in the evening sky above LA. Rest easy, because it was just skydivers doing a night jump with flares, and not aliens come to take Sam Cassell back to his home planet. [Red Bull Air Force]...
Last Night's Winner: The Mystery Team
For 35 years, as long as free agency has existed in Major League Baseball, the Mystery Team has made a run at every single available player. But they'd never actually signed one until last night....
Cliff Lee Is Going Back To Philly
Cliff Lee has reportedly turned down both the Yankees and the Rangers and will once again play for the Philadelphia Phillies next season. Lee, Roy Halladay, Roy Oswalt, and Cole Hamels: it will be quite the starting rotation. [Jon Heyman's Twitter]...
This Is Terrible Sports TV Banter
Charlie Nicholas broke off from rambling on about "set PCs," and Blackpool players "Kaka" and "T.J. Campbell" to deliver a great contender for worst comeback of the century on Soccer Saturday this weekend....
Brett Favre Immediately Starts Hawking Streak-Related Collectible Crap
Not minutes after being listed as inactive, Favre's official website started offering a $500 signed football inscribed "297 starts 1992-2010." DIE YOU HORRIBLE MAN. [BrettFavre.com, h/t Andrew]...
Charles P. Pierce Responds To Bill Simmons's Response To Charles P. Pierce's Response To Bill Simmons's Book
First came this. Then came Simmons's tweet. And now here's Pierce: "And right back at you, you mendacious, whiny little thin-skinned bag of breeze, you. I've been thrown out of better joints than your bibliography." Yeah, Pierce wins. [Boston.com]...
Deadspin Classic: Bill Simmons Is Not The Cosmos (<em>The Book Of Basketball</em> Reviewed)
The paperback edition of Bill Simmons's Book of Basketball is now in stores, and reader Patrick Sauer points out one notable tweak to this version: Charles P. Pierce's name no longer appears anywhere in the text. You don't suppose it has anything to do with Pierce's review of the book, do you?...
Hacked Comment Questions: Come Here, Speak Up
Some of you have emailed or g-chatted with concerns that the system still won't enable you to change your passwords. This, I am told, is being investigated by the brave Tech Team. Go to Gizmodo for updates on most questions....
Speedskater Shani Davis' Two-Year Winning Streak Ends
The last time U.S. speed skater Shani Davis lost a 1000-meter race was Dec. 6, 2008 in China. Until today, in Japan....