il Page 1438 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Goodbye, Greg Oden
Another injury has taken another year from Greg Oden. We've put together this tribute to the creaky-legged giant. We wish him a speedy recovery....

Last Night's Winner: The Memory Of Sam Bowie
Greg Oden's done, which means we're consigned to another year of summoning the spirit of sad old Sam Bowie from whatever well he's fallen down. Anyone tempted to compare the two similarly star-crossed, but otherwise totally different players should consider the following:...

Greg Oden, Part-Time Athlete, Full-Time Knee Wrecker, Is Out For The Season
Greg Oden, 82-game, 22 year-old veteran, announced today that he is surrendering another NBA season to have microfracture surgery on his left knee. It's considerate of him, really. At least he's disappointing Blazers fans a little bit earlier this year!...

The Media Pearl-Clutching Over Kobe Bryant's <em>Call Of Duty</em> Commercial Has Begun
This is the commercial. This is Tim Keown's ESPN.com column, which is straight out of the Cokie Roberts "Oh noes! Blowjobs!" school of punditry. WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN BEING USED FOR RHETORICAL EFFECT BY ANOTHER COLUMNIST GROUCHING ABOUT POP CULTURE?...

Remember, Michael Vick Was On <em>Pros Vs. Joes</em> Just Eight Months Ago
Last March, Mike Vick's option was picked up by the Philadelphia Eagles. Since the Birds still had Donovan McNabb and Kevin Kolb on the roster, the move was a puzzling one that appeared to be less a real commitment to a backup Wildcat specialist than a nice gesture by an organization seeking a littl...

Adam Dunn Close To Accepting Birthright As DH
Adam Dunn's about to hit a lot of doubles. The Rays might be hoarding Uptons. Ladies and gentlemen, please stand back, because this is one HOTFUCKINGSTOVE....

Mike Thomas Was The Only Man More Excited Than Gus Johnson
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the Jags receiver on the season's signature play....

How To Make Your Own Four Loko
The FDA is going to ban caffeinated malt liquor beverages very soon. Gone will be Joose and gone will be our precious, disgusting Four Loko. Luckily, you will be prepared for the 21st century prohibition with this helpful video....

Ron Zook Freaks Out, Has A Jim Mora Moment
After Illinois' loss to Minnesota last Saturday, Ron Zook addressed the team's prospects for bowl eligibility. It's one of the finest moments in Motor-Mouth History. H/T Erik...

Tevez Fists Ferdinand — In Stunning High Definition
The Picture of the Millennium brought to life in glorious HD....

Last Night's Winner: Michael Vick, Obviously
That was just a spanking, wasn't it? And if you don't think Andy Reid and Marty Mornhinweg purposefully drew up a game plan that could have been codenamed "Our QB Is Better," then you must not have been paying attention....

Wrigley Field Tarts Itself Up For Another Rich Loser
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

MNF: Young, Underpaid Quarterback Is So Far Outperforming Older, Overpaid Quarterback
At the start of the second half in the capital, the Eagles are up 45-14. Here's your belated open thread....

Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s Kicking Spree Ends With Marco Materazzi Being Hospitalized
We warned you this would happen. Since giving Rodney Strasser a shoeing in training, old Zlatan has grown a worrying taste for showcasing his mad Taekwondo skillz at the most inappropriate moments....

Breaking: Duke Basketball Player Does Something Tolerable
Kyle Singler is probably the least-grating Duke "star" of all time because—as this video shows—he's a goofball. Like if Lennie from Of Mice and Men played college basketball....

Sean Avery And The Differences In Hockey Fights
The dichotomy of hockey fighting was made more apparent than usual yesterday. In one, John Erskine and Eric Boulton valiantly pummeled each other. In the other, Sean Avery acted like an asshole, sucker-punched a guy, and started a brawl....

Jon Kitna's Nipples Lead Cowboys To Second Win
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your College Football Night Games Open Thread
Looks like some good games tonight. Mississippi State at Alabama. South Carolina at Florida. Oregon at California. Oklahoma State at Texas. USC at Arizona. Texas A&M at Baylor....

Denver Broncos Remain 2-6 After Stripping D.J. Williams Of Captaincy
Denver Broncos "star linebacker" D.J. Williams (left) forgot to turn his Hummer headlights on Friday morning. Johnny Law suspects he was drunk. So, Williams is no longer team captain. Aw....

Your College Football Afternoon Games Open Thread
Well, Utah at Notre Dame's probably already about a half-hour old at this point, so let's turn some attention to the afternoon's noteworthy contests....