il Page 1480 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Great Moments In Drunken Spring Break Failure!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Spring Break Failure, where we showcase heartwarming true stories of spring break gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Is Donovan McNabb Dicking The Eagles Around?
If you can think of a better explanation for stating he'd like to be traded to a team that has no intentions of trading for him, I'd like to hear it....
"Paris Hilton Was Taking It From Behind From Some Rock Star..."
Here are some fun recollections from one former MTV producer who worked on several of the network's debauchery-filled Spring Break broadcasts in the early 2000's. He wishes to remain anonymous....
Philadelphia's MLS Team Plays Dirty, Like A Philly Team Should
Well, the Philadelphia Union exist now. And if one game is a large enough sample size, they're going to be every bit as physical as the city has come to expect from its teams....
I Guess They'll Let Anyone Go There Now: Your 9:30ish Open Thread
It's the rich kids vs. the (shhh) rich kids, i.e. Cornell-Kentucky. The Pride of Cincinnati vs. The Other Manhattan, i.e. Xavier-Kansas State. Will Ashley Judd be seen again, or can Cornell win one for a fictional character?...
Are You A Racist If You Root For Cornell?
Dan Shaughnessy, wrote a boring little filler column about why Cornell is better than Kentucky. Matt Jones, who covers Kentucky, says that attitude is elitist and racist. So who is the most wrong here? WRITER FIGHT!...
Tebow Draft Rationalization Watch: The Patriots Are Capable Of Anything
As the NFL Draft approaches, many team fanbases will attempt complex logical gymnastics to talk themselves into using a first-round pick on Florida quarterback Tim Tebow. Today: What does Bill Belichick know that we don't?...
Vinnie Jones And Becksie To Remake Classic Football Movie!
For those who haven't seen the 1981 football masterpiece, Escape To Victory, you're really missing out on something quite special....
Tiger Woods's First Porn Mistress, Joslyn James, Publishes Something New: Wingman's Email
Joslyn James, Tiger's tawdry porn star hump-buddy best known for publishing those awful text messages, has returned with a new batch of quasi-incriminating evidence: Uchitelian emails from Tiger wingman Bryon Bell. See below....
The Coach K iPhone App Is Here To Beguile Us All
Duke coachbot Mike Krzyzewski has released an iPhone game that is equal parts basketball skills and dragon avoidance. The introduction appears to be missing a frame or 1,500....
Baby (Joe) Mauer Gets No Trade Clause From Seattle Family
In the grand tradition of parents naming their kids after sports heroes they can't possibly live up to—and then dressing them up in silly costumes—we proudly present Baby Joe Mauer....
Is The NBA Ready For Another Insane Billionaire Owner?
Mark Cuban has cornered the market on "playfully eccentric tech nerd sports owner," but he is in serious trouble if the Golden State Warriors fall into the hands of Larry Ellison. This guy practically invented the arrogant, kooky billionaire....
Milton Bradley, Nothing If Not Consistent
The newest Mariner is very sorry for his two consecutive Spring Training ejections. Just kidding! He says he'll never change, and that the umpires are out to get him. [Seattle Times]...
Phil Mushnick Does Not Want To Hear About Anyone's Testicles
"[Bill Raftery's] continued hollering of a crude crotch term after a big shot long ago should have ended, if not voluntarily, then on orders." Relatedly, in the same column, Mushnick professes to miss Billy Packer, who's a dick. [NYP]...
Today In Sports Endurance Achievements: Three-Minute Hockey Fight
Saturday, St. Louis Blues bruiser Cam Janssen and New Jersey Devil's welterweight Pierre-Luc "I Wasn't In Duran Duran" Letourneau-Leblond lethrew down during the first period. Three minutes later, they had become Übermensch. [Fan House; tunes by TV on the Radio]...
Onions Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like players who had the courage to take the big shot—no matter how ill-advised—and became heroes to small children everywhere. Don't you hate guys like that?...
ESPN On Five-Minute Tiger Interview: "More Important For Us To Have No Restrictions"
ESPN decided that a short, tape-delayed interview with Tiger Woods near his mansion columns was better than no interview - and Lightning Round Tom Rinaldi was the first and obvious choice to conduct the interview, the WWL said....
Golf Channel Actually Asks Tiger Woods Tougher Softball Questions
Golf Channel's Kelly Tilghman actually asks better questions and introduces us to Tiger's magic pussy protector Buddhist bracelet he now wears to keep rooted. She also reveals Ari Fleischer is done working for Team Tiger. Big day for "Kell." [GolfChannelTranscript]...
Ozzie Guillen's Apple Did Not Fall Far From The Tree
The manager's 24-year-old son, Oney, "resigned" from the White Sox video department because of his rogue Twitter account, but his mom cleared it all up with the GM. It's gonna be a good year on the South Side. [FoxSports/Sun-Times/Yahoo; Pic]...
Stories That Don't Suck: Self Esteem, Ballad Of Big Star, Fantasy Baseball, Michael Lewis's First First Thing
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....