il Page 1522 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Buzz Bissinger's <em>3 Nights In August</em> To Become 2 Hours Wasted At Your Local Multiplex
That other baseball movie is flailing about, but the adaptation of 3 Nights In August, Bissinger's Moneyball diss track and paean to Tony La Russa and the manly virtues of lineup construction, is moving along nicely. The nerds can't win....

Sex, Gambling and Gluttony In The Morning. And Some Sports.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Tour de France Riders Forced To Perform Without Mechanical Supplements
The Tour de France tried an "experiment" today—banning radios that allow coaches and team leaders to communicate with their riders during the race. It's almost like they expect these athletes to use their own brains!...

The Bizarre World Of Children’s YouTube Videos
Ever stumble on some random YouTube video and wonder to yourself, "How did this piece of shit get 200,000 views?" Well, I have the answer....

Pedro Martinez: Philadelphia Phillies
Level of excitement had this happened in 2004: 9. Level of excitement in 2009: 4. Still? Number of red Martinez jersey-shirts sold at Modell's over the weekend?: 8,016 [Cherry Hill Courier Post/PHOTO: EveryJoe]...

A Farewell To America's Softball Failures
For the last couple weeks, the injury-rate of rec softball competitors has drastically decreased, which is great news for the collective co-pay rate of America's health-insured, but bad for the column. But it deserves a proper send-off in gallery form....

Yeah, But You Still Have To Live In Pennsylvania
Quaker staters, use your hand to shield your eyes from your three championship trophies, together for the first time. And take your other hand out of your pants. [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]...

From Your Very Special Guest Editor
Last time I wrote on this page, it was with unbridled cautious optimism for Trent Edwards and the 2008 Buffalo Bills. Was I wrong? Yes and no. Well, actually, just yes....

Now It's Aaron Sorkin's Turn To Fail At Writing A <em>Moneyball</em> Script
Columbia has enlisted Sorkin, the sanctimonious West Wing creator last seen making Ed Asner say "Macau" over and over, to write a draft of the star-crossed Moneyball script. Such waste. Such inefficiency. Somebody could write a bestselling book about this....

Playing For Pittsburgh Makes Ian Snell Depressed
Add Ian Snell to the list of baseball players struggling with mental issues this season. The good news is that he seems to found a causal link between his crippling depression and playing baseball for the Pittsburgh Pirates....

Where Is The Brotherly Love?
Just when race relations in the United States seemed all hunky-dory — welcome to the White House, Mr. President — a swim club in Philadelphia kicks out 60 minority campers because they would "change the complexion" of the club....

Now It's Time To Let Your Star Shine
So the new commenting system is live. Please hop to the bottom section and test it out. I'm sure there will be kinks, complaints, confusion and minor chaos. Feel free to contact bugs with the real boners....

Bartolo Colon "Found," Still Mourning Michael Jackson
There's no visual evidence of Bartolo Colon's whereabouts—NASA is working on it—but the White Sox say he will pitch tonight. His "disappearance" was really just an aversion to phones and an inability to cope with MJ's passing....

Swoosh Denies LBJ Dunk Cover-Up, Unconvincingly
The flash, apparently official: Nike is now making the implausible case that the two hapless videographers at the LeBron James Skills Academy had flouted a longstanding, super-inviolate "no videotaping" commandment and therefore had to be frisked....

Rick Reilly® Celebrates After Scoring Big Interview With Lance Armstrong's Ass
But before that, Rick Reilly® was apparently wandering aimlessly on a French road and this nice photographer lady picked him up. Then they went back to the hotel and slammed beers....

The Dunk Was "As Good As It Could've Been Hyped Up To Be"
Ryan Miller, the would-be Zapruder whose video of LeBron getting Tom Chambered was commandeered by a Nike goon, has offered a few more details about the incident. Namely: The dunk was awesome, and Bron-Bron was kind of a prick....

Have You Seen This Fat Guy?
The White Sox seemed to have lost something. It's about six feet high, 250 pounds (roughly), and occasionally has trouble locating its curveball. Oh, and it's scheduled to start tonighttomorrow so if you've seen a Bartolo Colon anywhere, please call....

The Critic-Proofing Of Lance Armstrong
The ad you see here is the new Lance Armstrong spot for Nike, which would be merely standard-issue, inspiromatic marketing schlock if it didn't come so creepily close to suggesting that to criticize Lance now is to somehow enable cancer....

Lenny Kyle Dykstra Slides Headfirst Into Rock Bottom
The legend of Financial Wizard Lenny Kyle Dykstra, last seen "flying higher", has finally shriveled up and died: The Dude officially filed for bankruptcy today. I hope you didn't hurt yourself when you fell out of your chair....