il Page 1523 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

How Leagues Learned To Stop Loving And Worry About Steroids
The peril of steroids, like the Internet, wasn't apparent 40 years ago when Sports Illustrated published a prescient story about PEDs. In retrospect now, with steroids as dangerous as the Internet is real, professional sports appear more oblivious than ever....

Just In Case You Wanted To Know What A Dwarf Wrestler Funeral Looks Like
Those two little masked heroes that were killed by bandit hookers last week had a well-attended funeral, which could have easily been mistaken for a Rob Zombie film. [The Sun via BarStoolSports]...

Brett Tomko Uses Painting To Ease Pain Of Being Brett Tomko
"For me, the best way to move on from [a bad outing] is to get the paints out. Kind of take my mind off the pitching for a few hours and just kind of regroup." [Star-Ledger]...

Steve McNair's Death Doesn't Make <i>SI</i> Cover
The May 3, 2004 Pat Tillman cover was the last time Sports Illustrated put a professional athlete's death on the next week's cover. This week's has a cover line about Wimbledon, but no hint of S.L. Price's elegant McNair tribute....

Oh, Jason, You've Really Gone And Done It Now...
Jason Whitlock wrote a face-slapper of a column about Serena Williams where he says things like this: "I am not fundamentally opposed to junk in the trunk, although my preference is a stuffed onion over an oozing pumpkin." Jezebels...ATTACK!...

What Is Wrong With Our Fragile Baseball Players? (MRI Edition)
As anyone who plays fantasy baseball can tell you, injuries are killing your team. Baseball players spend more time on the DL than ever before, which probably says something about the times we live in. (It means you're weak.)...

Phil Mickelson's Mother Also Has Cancer
Less than two months after discovering that his wife has breast cancer, Phil Mickelson's mother has been diagnosed with the same disease. Man, this guy has had some rotten luck this year. [San Diego Union-Tribune]...

Boston Celtics Ramp Up Their "Get Older" Strategy
Calm and rational Rasheed Wallace has agreed to play for the Celtics for two years. Next on the shopping list: Grant Hill. (Seriously.) Because the problem with their 2009 team was obviously not enough injury/character questions. [Boston Herald]...

Bill Plaschke's Unhealthy Manny Obsession
Professional grumpypants Bill Plaschke really hates Manny Ramirez. In fact, the only thing he hates more than Manny is people who refuse to hate Manny as much as he does. Why can't they see what Bill Plaschke sees?...

Oh, And The Mets Looked Great This Weekend
To be fair, Johan Santana did run up against Joe Blanton, a card-carrying furry. Even with this much-needed sweep, it still feels like the Marlins are going to backdoor the NL East when no one's looking.[Philly.com]...

In Other Former NFL Quarterback News...
Quincy Carter has been released by the Abilene Ruff Riders after he flaked out again.The team said he simply didn't show up and had no idea of his whereabouts. And he seemed so re-focused. [LewP]...

Tiger Woods Calls Yankee Stadium Tickets "Overpriced"
This just might be the boldest political stance he's ever taken. He's also "no fan of the h1n1 virus" and thought The Hangover was "funny". Oh, and he's +1 today and tied for the lead at the AT&T National....

Hedo Turkoglu Spurns Trail Blazers for Raptors
ESPN is reporting that Toronto is giving him five years and $53 million. In addition, he won't have those pesky playoffs ruining his summers....

F1 Boss Ecclestone: Hitler "Got Things Done"
He also managed to compliment Saddam Hussein and offend black people all in the same interview. And he thinks Hitler was efficient?...
![Sisters Are Hogging Wimbledon Titles For Themselves [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18f13b350v8wpjpg.jpg)
Sisters Are Hogging Wimbledon Titles For Themselves [UPDATED]
The women's final at Wimbledon is underway, and it's the Williams sisters meeting in it for the fourth time. Who will win? Who will lose? You'll have to wait (or call Richard Williams) to find out!...

Twitter Will Clear Up The Barry Bonds Grand Jury Testimony
The Daily News' investigative team — also known as the people who helped buckle Roger Clemens' knees — are turning their attention to Barry Bonds, posting his grand jury testimony in 140-character chunks. The first tweet: "Confidential." Juicy. [BarryBondsGJ Twitter]...

<em>Fantasy Football: The Musical</em> Needs Your Help
Although this story does not contain tiny Mexican wrestlers nor furries, it's still undeniably batshit. A NYC theater group is in search of stage actors to portray Bill Simmons, Matthew Berry, and J-Bug for an upcoming fantasy football musical. Kapow!...

A Mexican Murder Mystery Featuring Masked Mini-Wrestlers A Roving Gang Of Hookers And Perez Hilton
I always enjoy news stories that appear to be plucked from the mind of a struggling screenwriter deep in the throes of a salvia trip. Like this one about two tiny Mexican wrestlers found dead in a shady hotel room....

Next Thing You Know, They'll Play La Marseillaise For Andy Roddick
Andy Murray is British, so naturally, he's the local favorite at Wimbledon. Hey, that would make for a sappy Rick Reilly video essay, complete with "Das Deutschlandlied," the British national anthem, as background music....

Alexis Arguello's Death, Prefigured
Alexis Arguello, the Nicaraguan boxing legend who was found dead early Wednesday of a gunshot wound to the chest, led a demon-haunted life that he nearly ended by his own hand 25 years ago. From a 1985 Sports Illustrated story:...