il Page 1570 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

NFL Season Preview: Jacksonville Jaguars
The NFL season has officially started, so it's time to fucking finish the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Clearly, these previews will be running ...

Arian Foster's Philosophy Store Coming to a Strip Mall Near You?
I haven't made myself watch the UT-UCLA game yet. It's sitting on my DVR. I put on the pregame last night and heard Rece Davis, Lou Holtz, and Mark May talking about how many times Arian Foster would carry the ball. Holtz and May both predicted he'd get over 150 yards. They were wrong. Arian only g...

Vanderbilt Up Against the Grass Ceiling?
Which, to be fair, would mean a bunch of their players would excel at Penn State. Tomorrow Vandy hosts South Carolina in the Thursday night ESPN game of the week. Today, you can read about their admissions standards and compare Vandy's players to the rest of the SEC. Hint: No other team's starting ...

Chase Utley Ain't No Broad, According To Charlie Manuel
As the Phillies maintain their pursuit of The Bastard Mets in the National League East, there were some questions about whether or not this team was capable of hanging on through this final month of the season due to an overall lack of clubhouse leadership. There are no shit-stirrers, save for the o...

Floyd Mayweather Missing $7 Million In Jewelry After Robbery
Which is a real shame because Mayweather was using the $7 million in jewelry as a hedge against inflationary pressures brought on by the falling dollar and the continuing mortgage crisis. That or it was just sitting around in his house on the night of August 17th between 7 and 9 when it suddenly di...

Ricky Williams Gets High...er Salary, 1-Year Extension
The love affair between Miami RB Ricky Williams and Dolphins management is in full bloom, as the NFL's house practitioner of holistic medicine received an extension through the 2009 season, and reportedly a pay raise to boot. Terms of the raise were not disclosed, but my guess is that it involves la...

Does The Governor's Cup Also Contain The Governor's Jewels?
Louisville and Kentucky deserve credit today for saving us from the Sunday blahs by actually scheduling their game one full week before the bulk of the NFL slate gets underway (3:30, ESPN). No, it's not basketball, but it's a fun in-state rivalry, matching up teams that have recently been competitiv...

Rudi Johnson Released From Bengals, Presumably For Good Behavior
You KNOW you're washed up when even the Bengals don't want you around anymore. Such is the case with Rudi Johnson, the tough Bengals running back whom you could pencil in for 1,300 yards and 12 touchdowns each season. At least that was the case before the franchise ran him into the ground. Last seas...

Whatever Happened to a Good Old Fashioned Headbutt?
Score one for the extraordinarily thin-skinned. A judge in Naples, Italy recently awarded 1500 Euro to a fan of the Napoli Football Club for "existential damages" he incurred while attending a match against Inter Milan. The cause of the damages? Banners. But not just any banners. Banners that made l...

Kid Who Fell Onto Field Further Traumatized By Dopey Matt Lauer Interview
It pays to be a klutz in Philadelphia: The kid who tumbled from the stands onto the warning track at Citizens Bank Ballpark on Thursday woke up the next day to new-found celebrity, collecting a bunch of Phillies memorabilia, game tickets and a trip to New York for an interview on the Today Show. The...

Mitch "Wild Thing" Williams Ringing The NASDAQ Opening Bell Tomorrow
This is the most incongruous pairing of sports and the financial markets since Lenny Dykstra first emailed Jim Cramer. How did this happen? What in the world has the Wild Thing been up to since his baseball career ended? He started his own Wild Thing Southpaw Salsa. Well, of course he did. Mitch Wi...

Ozzie Guillen Bids Farewell To His Personal Lord Voldemort
Reaction to Jay Mariotti's resignation from the Chicago Sun-Times continues to pour in — there hasn't been this much freewheeling glee since the announcement of the end of World War II — and of course Ozzie Guillen is leading the hurrahs. While admitting that his own tenure in Chicago most assuredly...

Michael Strahan's Life Became A Whole Lot Easier In More Ways Than One
Perhaps this is what he meant when he said he was enjoying retirement and declined to rejoin the Giants. You'll recall that Strahan and his wife entered into a rather stormy split. Included, among other things, were allegations that Strahan was gay. In the end, Strahan's wife, Jean Strahan, receive...

Through The Looking Glass With Nine-Year-Old Jericho Scott
The parents of Jericho Scott, the nine-year-old New Haven, Conn. pitcher who was banned from pitching because he is too good, are officially suing the youth league that is disbanding his team. In response, the league held a press conference to tell their side of the story, and a huge mob of reporter...

This Is Why Rock Fights Are Fun
So, there was this predictable exchange between the front desk guy in my apartment building and another guy as I went out to grab some smokes while the Phillies were down 7-1 in the 4th inning last night to the Mets. "Of course they'd come down to earth. Take 4 from the Dodgers then they get blown o...

Mr. Met Sez: Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta
If there's one thing I've learned in this world, it's that you do not f—- with Mr. Met. He has a bad attitude and a collection of shivs he made in prison, so watch out. Just look at this photo, where Mr. Met is saying "Don't f—- with my hos, or I will STICK YOU, man!" And witness the video following...

Tom Brady's E: Meet Will McDonough
In a really fascinating article and very well written piece, Brady's E, Will McDonough, is credited with the quarterback's rise from awkward media interviewee to a stylish, model-dating, European-vacationing metrosexual. Depending on your particular persuasion this either makes McDonough the anti-c...

Common Sense Strikes Out: The Curious Case Of Jericho Scott
Nine-year-old Jericho Scott has been banned from pitching in a New Haven, Conn., youth baseball league because he throws so hard that he frightens the other players, according to league officials. But he took to the mound on Saturday anyway, so the other team simply dropped their bats and left the f...

They Must Be Coming By Sea
David Hirshey Michael Bertin writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer. Arsene Wenger would have made a good captain for the Titanic. That has less to do with any nautical skills that he may or may not have, than it does with hubris. This is an Arsenal side he has claimed in print has the ability ...

Sunday Night Baseball: Dodgers-Phillies
Philadelphia and Los Angeles have good chances at winning their divisions. Jon Miller and Joe Morgan have good chances at mentioning baseball players from the 80s we never heard of, but should be in the Hall of Fame. Your pitchers: Hiroki Kuroda for the Avoiders, and Joe Blanton for the Philbins. If...