il Page 1571 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
MLB Closer: Do Not Taunt Surly Third-Place Kitty
Zach Miner of Los Tigres Detroit committed regicide on the monarchs from Missouri, allowing only three singles in seven innings on the way to a 4-0 victory in Kansas City last night. How could he get away with such domination on a major league franchise while only striking out three? How could he kn...
The Thing I Do Can Be Related to Current Events So Look At Me!
Below, you will see what it takes for a man to excrete success. Frosted Flakes Gold is not involved, despite what our television just told us. Click to view ...
Merriman Weighs His Options
Shawne Merriman has a PCL tear in his left knee, now all that's left to determine is what he and the team plan on doing about it. At this point Merriman can get back on the field with his unstable joint, or he can opt for one of two surgical options. A partial reconstruction could get him back on th...
We're Not Here to Violate Probation; We're Just Here to Do the Super Bowl Shuffle
#27, second from the left, is Michael Richardson. Richardson played a key role in the 1985-86 Chicago Bears' domination of the league. Now he's going back to jail for violating probation on his 21st drug conviction, bringing a new tint to the term "shutdown corner". How on Earth did L.A. Mike's pr...
College Football Previews: #6 LSU
Just one step away from the top 5 comes the mad genius that is Les Miles and his national champion Tigers. Today's preview is brought to you by Cajun Boy in the City. Included in his preview is a picture of an LSU girl that will make you want to cry and immediately move to Baton Rouge. Or at least ...
Tell Me How My Sass Tastes: Woman Gets Restraining Order Against Shaq For "Stalking"
Just as things started looking up for Shaquille O'Neal (a rejuvenation of his NBA career in Phoenix, a rejuvenation of his rap career, making up with his estranged wife) he might be in store for some troubling times due to the allegations of one Atlanta-based lady who claims The Diesel is "stalking ...
College Football Previews: #9 Clemson
Andrew Webster brings you the Clemson Tigers preview today. Andrew writes the sports blog, The Church of Keith Jackson. One week from today, the games will be going, but, until then, dive into #9 Clemson. Why, you ask, is a young and strapping (just ask my mom) Canadian man writing a Clemson Tigers...
Study: NHL Players with Bigger Heads Spend More Time in the Penalty Box
Honestly, this is a study. Thanks to the the fine people at Brock University in St. Catherine's, Ontario we know that NHL players with fat heads spend more time in the penalty box. How? Evidently head width runs the gamut from the skinny (1.6) to the unusually wide (2.3). By studying the profile pi...
Jimmy Rollins: 'In Philly, Can't Be No Punk'
Jimmy Rollins' love affair with the city of Philadelphia continues. Last week he called out Phils fans on Best Damn Sports Show Period, decrying their notorious negativity and calling them "front-runners." That caused a Philadelphia blogger to organize an Internet campaign to try and get fans to che...
College Football Previews: #10 Texas
At long last, we enter the top 10. Your author is Peter Bean of Burnt Orange Nation. He's also the author of The Eyes of Texas 2008. You'll be happy to know that the above picture of Jenna Bush rocking the longhorn sign sent Muslim hearts spinning because they believed it was a sign of Satan. Oklah...
What Could He Have Possibly Done Wrong?
There's no reason to speculate as to why Louisville back-up quarterback Matt Simms was suspended for four games for "an unspecified violation of team policy." None at all. It could be plenty of things. Maybe he was studying too hard for his physics exam and missed a mandatory meeting? Or perhaps he ...
No White Person Has Ever Broken 10 Seconds in the 100 Meters
I thought 2008 would be our year. I really did. After all, if a black man can be elected President (hopefully), then a white person could break 10 seconds, right? But the 100 meters came and went and once more the fastest white man in the history of the universe remains some guy named Marian Woroni...
College Football Previews: #11 Auburn
We're rolling through the top 25 and later this afternoon we'll finally crack into the top ten. Until then enjoy the melodic stylings of 2003 Auburn grad Brian J. Stultz as he brings down the hammer on the Tide, raises the profile of apostrophized greatness that is Sen'Derrick Marks, and defends To...
NFL Season Preview: Buffalo Bills
We're less than a month away from the start of the NFL season, so it's time to start the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. This year, the previews w...
College Football Previews: #12 Wisconsin
Today we're bringing a bit of Big 10 cross-pollination for you as Iowa fan Adam Jacobi from Black Heart Gold Pants brings the Badger love. At least a little bit? He also blogs at Fanhouse. 1) Wisconsin's tight end is Travis Beckum, a 26-year-old taxi driver who's recently been discharged from Vietn...
It's Cheer Day In Philadelphia! (This Will Not End Well)
Ah Philadelphia, Land of 10,000 Losses; where they throw batteries at J.D. Drew and boo Santa Claus. Derision falls like rain here, and everyone gets soaked; especially the Phillies, who are in danger of slip slidin' away in the NL East. The reason? According to Jimmy Rollins, it's fan negativity. H...
Sunday Night Baseball: Padres-Phillies
Will Cole Hamels keep the Phillies in the NL East race? Will Cha Seung Baek prevent San Diego from being the worst team in baseball? Will you even be able to see this live blog? These queries and few others will be answered once you jump to the rhythm. (Jump jump to the rhythm.) * * * Okay, so nobod...
Outstanding Acheivers In Beijing Not Named Michael Phelps
• I really can't stand to watch gymnastics more than once every four years. It's agonizing. There's such a clear disadvantage in starting some routines first, as Shawn Johnson did in the floor exercise, only to be overtaken by Romania's Sandra Izbasa, who went last. It was Johnson's third silver me...
College Football Previews: #19 Illinois
You know what my favorite part about college football is? It's that there are so few games — some teams only play 11. 11! — that you can legitimately go through and predict every game that every team in Division I-A (or whatever the hell it's called) plays. It doesn't even take that much time! You ...
Ronnie Wilson Wants You To Say Hello To His Little Friend
Gators offensive guard Ronnie Wilson was arrested in April of 2007 for firing an AK-47. According to Wilson, he did it because he wanted the intended victim to know what it felt like to be scared. Makes complete sense. Well, now, the 911 phone call that led to Wilson's arrest has been released. You...