il Page 1614 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
That Looks Uncomfortable
I don't even know what to say, just sit back and take it all in....
You Can Make Antoine Walker an All Star Again!
Some enterprising internetters over on the RealGM message boards have hatched a plan to corner the NBA All Star voting market involving cookies (not the kind you throw or use to torture). I'm a moron so I don't really understand all of their Internet Explorer speak but I have deduced that they are q...
Hugh II: The Nedessey Continues... Part 1
Let's all give it up to Mac G at Big Ten Poon for singlehandedly making OSU/Michigan slightly less than intolerable. The game still sucks, but at least we've got something to look at while sit idly by waiting for some good games to be beamed onto our televisions. Without further ado, here's the Hugh...
Coach Cal Defeats Coach Calhoun, Cancer
Both Derrick Rose and Chris Douglas-Roberts notched career highs in scoring en route to Memphis's 81-70 win over Connecticut in the finals of the 2K Sports College Hoops Classic benefiting Coaches Versus Cancer. Douglas-Roberts led the way with 33 points to put away Jim Calhoun's Huskies in the se...
This Is Why People Hate High School
Everybody knows that the only thing on earth better than cheerleaders are cheerleaders who flash some ass. Despite this universal understanding the Modesto City Gestapo School Board are allowing cheerleaders to be suspended for flashing their panties....
Wilkins Scores 41, Hawks Lose...Seems Familiar
Of course the Wilkins in question is Seattle's Damien, not his uncle Dominique formerly of the Atlanta Hawks. The veteran busted out for 41 points in the Super Sonics second consecutive win on the heels of an 8-game losing streak. Damien's outburst was eventually overshadowed, but you'd think he'd b...
Dennis Dixon Has Balls of Uranium
So it's official, Dennis Dixon tore his ACL ... two weeks ago. So that first quarter touchdown run on Thursday night just went from awesome to unbefuckinglievable....
About Last Night
What you missed while preparing for the end with your comrades... • NBA: LeBron James is really starting to get a hang of this basketball thing. I think he just got fouled again. • CFB: Hawaii pulled one out of their ass without Colt Brennan. Can I go to bed now? Sleep is where I'm a viking. • CBB: ...
Everybody Keep Piling On Notre Dame!
As we come to the final death spasms of the glory/hideousness of the Notre Dame season, we stop to do a brief dance on the Irish grave. How bad has it become? Freaking Duke thinks it has a chance to win in South Bend this weekend....
What Group of People Will Phil Jackson Offend Next?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
Not A Good Night To Be A Duck
With everything else going on and dominating those sports pages of ours, it almost passed notice that the BCS race imploded again last night with Oregon's loss to Arizona. It also obliterated Dennis Dixon's Heisman chances; he's not likely to play the rest of the season. All told, a rather eventful ...
Phil Jackson Just Can't Quit You
Sure, Phil Jackson's post-game comments on Tuesday were controversial. But the cinematography was spectacular, and we say he deserves an Oscar. Wait, what? After losing to the Spurs on Tuesday, Jackson said "We call this a 'Brokeback Mountain' game because there's so much penetration and kickouts." ...
About Last Night
What you missed while cooking up a batch of delicious Jesuscakes ... • NBA: Dwyane Wade is back ... just in time to watch Miami lose to Seattle at home. Sonics 104, Heat 95. • College basketball: This would have been a great upset. Oh well. North Carolina 72, Davidson 68. • NHL: No 500th win for you...
Defying The Odds, Our Hero Makes It To Week 2
My Talking Dennis Miller Action Figure arrived in the mail today, and I'm happier than Wink Martindale on the Island of Topless Double-D Spokesmodels. Although on close inspection Talking Dennis more resembles the guy who sold me my term life insurance. So far I haven't been able to find the button ...
Like Playmakers, But, You Know, NICER
Despite the pleas of Bill Simmons, we've never watched "Friday Night Lights." We're not sure why; maybe we just have too much television in our lives already. Anyway, the show's ratings still aren't improving, and if the writers ever get back to work, the show is expected to be canceled by NBC. But ...
Bill Belichick Is A Surly Dick
Michael Showalter is one of the minds behind The State and Stella and the writer and star of the films Wet Hot American Summer and The Baxter. We're a fan. He also, apparently, is a sports fan. To promote his new album Sandwiches And Cats, he's doing a pseudo tour of the various lousy blogs like our...
A Productive Way To Expend Your Rooting Energy
Dan Steinberg of DC Sports Bog waded into the morass that is the scene outside a Redskins-Eagles game ... and somehow lived to tell the tale....
Michael Jordan Is Paying A Wee Bit In His Divorce Settlement
Michael Jordan and Juanita Jordan got engaged on New Years Eve, 1987. Jordan was in his third year in the NBA at the time, and had just filmed a Nike commercial with Spike Lee. They were married almost two years later — in Las Vegas, of course — and they signed a "post-nuptial agreement," whatever t...
The Best JetBlue Flight Of All Time
We've watched our favorite teams play in some strange places. We once saw our Buzzsaw lose on the back of a boat off Lake Shelbyville while an old girlfriend vomited off the back. (We helped her out, once the outcome had been clearly decided.) But Illinois' breathtaking upset of Ohio State on Satur...