il Page 789 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Goalkeeper's Boner Overshadowed By Striker's Even Bigger Boner

Libertad goalkeeper Martín Silva must’ve thought he was the biggest idiot on the pitch when his error served up an incredibly easy scoring opportunity for Atlético Nacional forward Omar Duarte in a Copa Libertadores match Thursday night. Luckily for Silva, Duarte one-upped the keeper with an even wo...

Charles Barkley Uses <i>Inside The NBA</i> To Debut His Jussie Smollett Material

Charles Barkley normally uses his spot on TNT’s Inside the NBA to get into extraordinarily dumb arguments with Shaq, but in yesterday’s edition, he tried out some jokes about the case of Jussie Smollett, the actor who allegedly set up a hate crime on himself because he wasn’t happy with his salary o...

You Don't Have To Believe Any Of This Shit

A non-refundable $45 fee on a bank statement whose existence cannot be explained by anyone; Raytheon’s Twitter account responding to a jape from Lockheed Martin’s Twitter account with a GIF of a grimacing Steve Carell from an episode of The Office; a show on The Learning Channel that is just goatee...

Justin Williams Sacrificed His Face To Score The Hurricanes' Opening Goal Against The Panthers

The question of whether an intact face is more valuable to a hockey player than a goal in the regular season has plagued sports philosophers for generations, and now it’ll be a question that Hurricanes elder Justin Williams will be asking himself often, at least in the near future....

Mike Clevinger On His Athleticism: If Dogs Had Thumbs, They'd Be Milking Nipples All Day

Zack Meisel, The Athletic’s Cleveland Indians writer, saw the team’s pitchers talking trash to one another during a fielding drill and decided to ask them a simple question: which of the team’s pitchers is the best athlete?...

DeMarcus Cousins On Whether Zion Williamson Should Return This Season: "College Basketball Is Bullshit"

Duke freshman Zion Williamson’s college career is suddenly up in the air after he tore through the side of his shoe and hurt his knee Wednesday night. If we take the school at its word that the injury isn’t serious, Williamson will have to decide if he wants to go on the shelf in preparation for the...

Zion Williamson's Knee Is 'Stable,' But He Should Pack It In Anyway

Zion Williamson busting through his shoe and twisting his knee in the first minute of a storied rivalry game on national TV made for a neat encapsulation of everything that’s broken with big-time college sports. Here was an unpaid player that everyone with one functioning eye can agree belongs in th...

Darren Rovell Is Absolutely Losing It Over The Shoe<em></em>

Zion Williamson’s shoe exploded Wednesday night, in the first minute of the big Duke game against North Carolina, and Zion hurt his knee on the play. For most people, this is rotten news for human or basketball reasons; for screeching brandwraith Darren Rovell, this is the single most exhilarating t...

Zion Williamson Wrecked His Shoe And Also Maybe His Leg [Update]

Well, this is weird as hell. Less than a minute into the much-hyped matchup between UNC and Duke, Zion Williamson appeared to hurt his leg when he tried to plant while he was dribbling. It’s the right leg that got injured, but the left shoe may have gotten the worst of it, as Williamson’s foot just ...

Make Some Fiery Red Chili Sauce And Put It On Stuff

Maybe you do the thing where, on a Sunday morning, you dump a week’s worth of leftover chicken bones into a big pot of cold water with some onions and root vegetables and herbs and whatnot and make stock. Or maybe you do the thing where you dump a couple huge cans of tomatoes in that big pot with so...

Patrick Warburton Pumps Up The Devils, Falls Down

The New Jersey Devils have barely avoided the ranks of easily forgettable sports teams, like the Florida Panthers, for two reasons: Martin Brodeur and David Puddy....

Former Minnesota Coach Jerry Kill Goes On The Radio To Grumble About Current Coach P.J. Fleck

Jerry Kill left his position as head coach of the University of Minnesota football team in 2015, citing health reasons. He’s kept a pretty low profile since then, serving as the offensive coordinator at Rutgers for one season before starting an administrative career at Kansas State and Southern Illi...

John Tortorella Insists That Artemi Panarin's Only Out Tonight Because He's Shitting And Puking

Even though the Blue Jackets are holding on to third place in a pretty messy Metropolitan Division, the scuttlebutt around the league is that they’ll be sellers, not buyers at the trade deadline. Artemi Panarin is an unrestricted free agent after this season, and it seems clear that he’s not going ...

White Sox Don't Sign Player

Kenny Williams, executive vice-president of the Chicago White Sox, spoke to reporters today about his team’s failed pursuit of Manny Machado, who will, per reports, sign with the San Diego Padres for $300 million or so:...

Huge American Servebot Reilly Opelka Will Render John Isner Obsolete<em></em>

John Isner, the leading American man in tennis, has a simple calling card: being 6-foot-10 and serving bombs. He’s the most prominent purveyor of the American Man Style of tennis: giant delivery, giant forehand, full stop. That’s been enough to make him a top-20 fixture, a historically successful h...

Jimmy Butler Talking To Mark Wahlberg Is Like Tipping A Nacho Cheese Fountain Into A Fondue Pot

Jimmy Butler simply doesn’t give a d*mn. He is the kind of guy who will deliver twisted and edgy quotes like, “Damn right I’m confrontational. I am confrontational ... I would be the first to tell you, I don’t give a damn. I’ve always been like that,” and leave you mopping your brow. Butler can now ...

USA Gymnastics Hires NBA VP Li Li Leung As New CEO<em></em>

Four months after Nike-hating Mary Bono stepped down as president of USA Gymnastics after about five days at the helm, the organization has named Li Li Leung as its new boss. Leung, who has a sports marketing background, had previously worked at the NBA as a senior vice president. She also has exper...

Bill Simmons Is Getting Wild Out Here

If you’ve engaged at all with Bill Simmons’s podcast or Twitter account over the last few weeks, you’ve been made well aware of the fact that he is fed up with all these dang NBA players doing things he doesn’t like. Fresh off his Feb. 13 podcast in which he proclaimed that Kyrie Irving needs to “sh...

"We Work On It Every F-... Day"

A Very Short Interview With The Photographer Who Captured Zion Williamson Denting A Basketball

Duke phenom Zion Williamson is already the stuff of tall tales. One more mythic feat entered the record Tuesday during the Blue Devils’ comeback win over Louisville. While fighting Jordan Nwora for possession, Williamson’s fingertips appeared to be ... denting the basketball....