ill Page 411 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Shaq: Put Cops Around And Inside Everything<em></em>
Someone asked Shaq, an occasional cop, what to do about school shootings. His take? Just build the school out of cops. Sure! ...
<i>Sports Illustrated </i>Writer: The Vikings Took My Advice And Signed Kirk Cousins
Here is Sports Illustrated writer and tape-eater extraordinaire Andy Benoit crafting a lead that is the columnist’s version of inviting you into his office just as he finishes off a set of 500 pushups:...
World Rejoices As Shitty Manchester United Team Knocked Out Of Champions League
Yesterday’s Manchester United-Sevilla Champions League match was the best game of the knockout rounds thus far. Not because these are two particularly great teams competing—they both are pretty bad—nor because they played especially well—the game was largely awful. No, this match was great for prett...
I Can't Stop Watching This Perfect Stealth Pickoff
Unless you have a strong love of beefy minor-league catchers and/or guys who spent six years in the Phillies’ farm system without making it to Double-A, there’s no good reason for you to have heard of Willians Astudillo. Or, at least, there wasn’t until yesterday—when he pulled off this beautifully ...
The Predators Are Hustling And It's Wonderful To Watch
This is one of my favorite sequences from the NHL season so far....
Judge Overseeing College Basketball Corruption Case Would Like Everyone To Stop The Dang Leaks
U.S. District Judge Edgardo Ramos has officially had it with the leaks coming out of the FBI’s ongoing pay-for-play case against various college basketball programs....
Blake Bortles Says He's No Longer A Beach Bar Bro, But Remains A Big Fan Of Beer
It’s a known but unverified rumor that Jaguars quarterback Blake Bortles likes to partake in Jacksonville’s nightlife, specifically beach bars. (Specifically an establishment called Lemon Bar.) But in a recent interview, the QB says that’s no longer the case and hasn’t been for a couple of years. He...
Venus Williams Beats Serena 6-3, 6-4 At Indian Wells
The first tournament run of Serena Williams’s comeback ended at the hands of a familiar opponent—her sister, Venus Williams, who defeated her 6-3, 6-4 tonight in the third round at Indian Wells. ...
Report: Louisville Players Voted Not To Play In NIT, But They're Going Anyway
The Louisville Cardinals kick off their NIT run Tuesday night, but the players might not have any desire to play in college basketball’s less exciting tournament. According to the Courier-Journal, players were “emotionally exhausted” from the program’s tumultuous season which featured an escort scan...
The Arizona Wildcats Are The Fun Kind Of NCAA Bad Guys
Seen through a certain college basketball purist’s eyes, Arizona are the unquestionable villains of this year’s NCAA Tournament. With other alleged Sanctity Of Amateurism offenders like Louisville and USC out of the picture, the Wildcats are the most prominent tournament team that currently stands a...
Jake Arrieta Finally Rejoins The Ranks Of The Employed, Signs With The Phillies
Jake Arrieta, National League Cy Young Award winner, World Series hero, thrower of two career no-hitters, recently the ace of the Chicago Cubs rotation, is reportedly set to join the Philadelphia Phillies, a team that won 66 games in 2017:...
A Wonderteen Is Tearing Up The KHL Playoffs, And He's Headed For Nashville Soon
Helsinki-based KHL team Jokerit wrapped up a fairly easy first-round series victory over HC Sochi tonight. They won in five games on the back of teen phenom Eeli Tolvanen, who scored five goals to add to his 19 that he got in 49 regular season games (not to mention his three in the Olympics). ...
Serena Williams Is Back, And She's Not In The Mood To Talk Drugs
INDIAN WELLS, Calif. — The first two points of Serena Williams’s comeback ended on unforced errors, and the arena, just over half-full on a cool desert night, was silent, totally, as if smothered by a heavy quilt. Maybe they weren’t sure to expect, after the childbirth, the complications, the blood ...
Will Cain Is An Idiot
Former LSU running back Derrius Guice said he was asked by one NFL team at last week’s combine whether he liked men, and asked by another team if his mother was a prostitute. There’s a question of whether that first one is even legal, but both are, by any measure—and as already admitted by the leagu...
Here's Some Satisfying Sports Media Beef
Who’s hungry for some fuckin’ sports media drama? What if I told you it involved one writer misquoting another and a sassy Bill Simmons tweet? Pull up a chair, friend, and get a plate of this hot beef....
This Is How To Pay College Athletes<em></em>
For all that the ongoing FBI investigation into college basketball’s underground economy has and could yet reveal, nothing is more obvious and undeniable than this: The on-stage performers in a multimillion-dollar entertainment industry do, in fact, have value beyond athletic scholarships and small ...
Serena Williams's Comeback Starts Now, Ready Or Not
On Thursday at Indian Wells, Serena Williams will play her first tour event in more than a year. Is she ready? Yesterday in an interview with the BBC, Williams heaved a sigh and answered:...
Damian Lillard Looks Unstoppable, And The West Is Fun As Hell
On February 11, the Trail Blazers got blown out at home by the Jazz, their fourth loss in six games, kicking off some mild panic in Portland about the team’s ability to hold onto a playoff spot in a stacked Western Conference. Three days later, the Rose Garden hosted a Valentine’s Day date between t...
Ryan O'Reilly Gets Sweet Unintentional Assist From Referee
The official box score from tonight’s Maple Leafs-Sabres game says that this Ryan O’Reilly goal was unassisted, but the tape shows otherwise. ...