ill Page 418 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Could Santa Claus Defeat Godzilla?<em></em>
I got more Star Wars takes before we get into your letters. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna spoil anything, but I watched The Force Awakens a couple times after seeing the new movie and the difference in dialogue is night and day, man. Everyone in TFA had better lines than they do in The Last Jedi. Take ...
Is Serena Williams Going To Play In The Australian Open Or What?
The Australian Open begins in less than a month and it’s still unclear whether defending champion Serena Williams will be playing in it. Despite eager assurances from the tournament director that the 23-time grand slam champion will indeed make her historic post-baby comeback at the tournament she w...
Damian Lillard Shut Down Some Timberwolves Fans
Blazers point guard Damian Lillard was not happy after last night’s 108-107 loss to the Timberwolves, which he largely blamed on poor refereeing during a postgame rant. That frustration stayed with him long enough to cause a brief confrontation with some fans outside the arena....
The Winless Browns Can't Get Anyone To Watch Them Because Of Liberalism
You won’t get these facts from the mainstream media!...
Blake Bortles, Who Is Always Trash, Cannot Be Called Trash Today<em></em>
The Jacksonville Jaguars thumped the Houston Texans 45-7 Sunday, as QB Blake Bortles threw for 326 yards and three touchdowns with no turnovers. After the game, Texans linebacker Jadeveon Clowney admitted that the Jags soundly beat his team, but wouldn’t give Bortles any credit....
Tom Brady Sidesteps Question About Whether His Quack Guru And Belichick Have Beef
The scuttlebutt around the Patriots, per recent media reports, is that Bill Belichick isn’t too fond of Tom Brady’s quack personal trainer and business partner, Alex Guerrero. (Guerrero is the “brains” behind the pseudoscience upon which Brady’s bullshit wellness program is built.) According to Pro ...
Bills Fan Knocked Cold In Collision With Good Old Human Frailty
In the crazy world of Bills fans’ insane tailgate stunts, it’s hard to know whether knocking yourself cold by overshooting the table you’re attempting to break with your falling body is a failure or a success. In Bills fan culture, is this man a fool, or a hero, or both?...
Both Of Herm Edwards's Coordinators Have Left After It Was Announced They'd Stay<em></em>
When Arizona State hired Herm Edwards to coach their football team earlier this month, they planned to retain both offensive coordinator Billy Napier and defensive coordinator Phil Bennett from the previous staff. It was an unusual move, since most coaching changes involve entire staffs turning over...
Brandon Williams Carted Off Field; Has Pre-Existing Spinal Condition<em></em>
Colts tight end Brandon Williams was carted off the field at the start of the second quarter tonight. While the play responsible was not itself anything especially out of the ordinary, Williams has spinal stenosis, which can make any football injury scary and ended his college career when he was dec...
A Bonus Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
Hello again. Earlier this week we all gathered round the wassail to roast the goofiest items in this year’s Williams-Sonoma catalog. HOWEVER, it was a really thick catalog this year, and there simply wasn’t enough room in print for EVERY ridiculous item featured. Especially the champagne saber. So, ...
This Andy Benoit Take About Russell Wilson Is So Fucking Stupid I Want To Die
You might remember Sports Illustrated’s resident tape-eater Andy Benoit from the time he proudly listed 15 backup stiffs better than Colin Kaepernick (and unironically included the likes of Brock Osweiler), or the time he said the Browns weren’t a joke because he watched the film on them, or the tim...
Jalen Brunson Broke Temple, Again
PHILADELPHIA — Temple was on a run, and the Liacouras Center was rocking. It was a big game. Villanova came into North Philly last night as the No. 1 team in the nation. The Wildcats had won 21 consecutive Big 5 games—an unprecedented streak in Philly hoops history....
The Canucks Let The Predators Put On A Show
Sure, in any seven-goal game you’re going to see some fluke goals. Like P.K. Subban half-whiffing on a giveaway one-timer and the goalie never seeing the knuckling shot; or Subban scoring from center ice; or Filip Forsberg banging in a centering pass off a Canuck’s skate....
Hot Damn, P.K. Subban Scored From A Million Miles Away
P.K. Subban put the Predators up 3-0 in the second period of tonight’s game against the Canucks, getting his second goal of the evening by scoring from a point that just logically seems like it should be near impossible to manage. (From center ice, if you want to get all technical about it)....
Louisville Countersues Rick Pitino, Seeks Money Lost From NCAA Violations
The clusterfuck of Rick Pitino getting fired by Louisville amid an FBI corruption investigation is only getting more complicated. While Pitino has active suits open against his former school for wrongful termination and Adidas for intentional infliction of emotional distress, Louisville has now coun...
Danny Williams: Bruce Arena Let His Affinity For MLS Ruin World Cup Qualification
Barring any individual or group ticket purchases, the United States soccer team will not be attending next summer’s World Cup. The general consensus places a good deal of the blame for on the nightmarishly incompetent coaching job done by MLS lifer Bruce Arena. Due to his conservatism, passionate d...
Luc Robitaille's Wife, Stacia, Shares A Story Of Donald Trump Being An Aggressive Creep
There’s no shortage of stories about President Donald Trump being a gross, aggressive perv, and Stacia Robitaille shared another on Twitter last night:...
Uh Oh, Someone's Grouchy
The Patriots couldn’t convert a single third down (in 11 chances) in Monday night’s 27-20 loss to the Dolphins. Head coach Bill Belichick opened up about the defeat after the game by grumbling and staring and grumbling some more....
The 2017 Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog<em></em>
Oh! It’s you! My dearest, most refined holiday compatriot! My apologies, I didn’t see you were at the door....
Zach Miller On Gruesome Leg Injury: Amputation Was "Very Real" Possibility
Chicago Bears tight end Zach Miller returned to the team facility today for the first time since the brutal knee injury he suffered eight weeks ago. (Do not go back and watch that clip unless you have a perverse interest in seeing a leg bend in a way that it really, really, really is not supposed to...