ill Page 467 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Prince Fielder Teaches Millennials Valuable Lesson About Ballpark Cell Phone Usage
Prince Fielder is a large baseball man who hit himself a large donger in the fourth inning of this afternoon’s Rangers win. Fielder sent the ball arching past the right field pole and, somehow, directly into this fan’s phone....

Pittsburgh Jinxes the Penguins, Rounds Up Couches So Hockey Fans Can't Burn Them
Five years ago, the Vancouver Canucks boned up a Game 7 at home and the city of Vancouver responded with a massive riot. The riot resulted in five million Canadian dollars of property damage and also a fantastic photo of a couple taking a break from burning stuff to make out in the street. The City ...

Arm Yourself Against The Mosquito, Your One True Enemy
It is a time of war. We are under attack, and every woman, man, and child must fend for themselves. They are coming for us, and there’s nothing we can do to stop them. We must fight until we can fight no more. I’m so tired I could cry. ...

We Need A Better Way To Talk About NFL Contracts
Early on in this otherwise fine Yahoo piece on the ongoing and contentious contract negotiations between the Broncos and all-world linebacker Von Miller, I did a double-take at this line:...

The Broncos Can't Lock Up Von Miller, And It's All The Giants' Fault
The Broncos slapped a $14.1 million franchise tag on star linebacker Von Miller this offseason, but were hoping to get him signed to a long-term deal before today’s team-imposed deadline. Talks between the two sides have broken off, though, and the Broncos are probably very, very mad at the New York...

Bill Simmons On ESPN: "Who Would Work There That You Respect Right Now?" (UPDATE)
A year after learning on Twitter that ESPN fired him, Bill Simmons is clearly still bitter. “They’ve now gotten rid of everybody who is a little off the beaten path,” he says in a Hollywood Reporter cover story. “Ask yourself this: ‘Who would work there that you respect right now?’”...


Sidney Crosby Is The Anti-Steeler
It started as a joke here at Deadspin, when Drew Magary called the Penguins the Ice Steelers. Naturally, I decided that it actually was the perfect name for my favorite hockey team and proceeded to only ever refer to them by that, modifying it slightly to fit with traditional Pittsburgh-ese to “Ice ...

Great Pics, Wade!
The Super Bowl-winning Denver Broncos made their visit to the White House today, and defensive coordinator Wade Phillips took pictures to document the trip. His photography skills are equivalent to those of your dad, so none of the shots are properly framed, and the captions are as brief as possible...

Police Are Looking For This Phillies Fan, Who They Say Threw A Beer Bottle At Ryan Howard
The Ryan Howard era is grinding to an ignominious end, but when Howard grounded out as a pinch-hitter to end Saturday’s home loss to the Brewers, one fan allegedly took things too far....

Garbiñe Muguruza Beats Serena Williams, Wins French Open Title
Spaniard Garbiñe Muguruza defeated Serena Williams in straight sets today at Roland Garros, claiming her first career Grand Slam title and denying Williams her 22nd....

Steelers Linebacker Uses Dead Gorilla To Burn Cincinnati
Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker Vince Williams has no love lost for Harambe, the gorilla killed at the Cincinnati Zoo last weekend after a child got into his enclosure. After all, Harambe lived in the same city that hosts the Steelers’ divisional rival Bengals....

Here Comes The End Of Ryan Howard
To be fair, there isn’t really much left of Ryan Howard for us to lose. The guy who once socked 58 dingers in a single season and swung his bat like it was a piece of artillery has been gone for a while now. What’s remained is a husk earning $25 million to strike out a lot. Now, that poor sap is bei...

Other Than HBO, Has Anyone Invested In Bill Simmons And His New Blog?
The Ringer—Bill Simmons’s self-described “content media site”—launched this morning, and immediately felt familiar. It looked like all the other digital media sites built on Medium, splashed with The Ringer’s inimitable and garish electric green color scheme, and was mostly seeded with the stories T...

Report: Two More Baylor Football Staffers Fired
Two more members of Baylor’s athletics department have been fired, USA Today reports tonight, citing an anonymous source. They are Colin Shillinglaw, the athletics director for football operations, and longtime athletics staffer Tom Hill. Both were fired last week. ...

Pachuca Win Liga MX Clausura On 93rd-Minute Goal
Pachuca defeated Monterrey 2-1 on aggregate last night after Victor Guzmán’s goal in the third minute of injury time, delivering Los Tuzos their first league title in nine years....

Grill A Pizza This Weekend
Memorial Day is for cooking with fire. Grilling provides a perfect low-stakes reason to be outside in the warm weather that requires no commitment beyond trusting that you’ll feel hungry in a little bit. It’s a simple celebration of having the time to make dinner an event, the ambient temperature to...

Compounding Throwing Errors Turn Wild Pitch Into Three Stooges Routine
Look, baseball is hard. You have to catch and throw a little tiny white ball past someone who wants to murder it with a stick that was expressly made to murder the ball. If your opponent clobbers it, you have to scramble around and shit. This isn’t to excuse the incredible meltdown Oakland suffered ...

Bills GM Doug Whaley Backtracks From Idea That Humans Shouldn't Play Football
Bills general manager Doug Whaley said today that he used a “poor choice of words” when he expressed his belief on a radio interview that “humans aren’t supposed to play” football, because it’s a bad look for a guy whose job it is to convince men to play football for his team....

Miguel Cabrera Was Very Impressed With The Pitch That Struck Him Out
Miguel Cabrera is on quite the run right now, but Jeremy Hellickson got him to take a rip at a strike three that fell harmlessly in the dirt far from Cabrera’s flailing bat. He is a fun dude who knows when to give respect when he gets owned, so he flashed Hellickson a cool thumbs up almost before Ca...