ill Page 528 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

18 Things <em>Rolling Stone</em> Couldn't Fit Into Its Bill Simmons Profile
I went to a Clippers game with Bill Simmons, heard him explain why other players don't like Blake Griffin, and joined him in making fun of a pre-shitstorm Donald Sterling, who sat, inert, across the court from us. ("Maybe it's like a Weekend at Bernie's kind of thing.") I ate sushi with Bill in L.A....

The Incredible Paintings of Frank Frazetta
Via the cool blog, This, That & Also, Etc. check out Donald Newlove's 1977 Esquire profile of Frank Frazetta. ...

Bryce Harper Hits The DL After Sliding Head-First
Perhaps the only consolation for Bryce Harper after a shitty week on the basepaths is that it'll be a while before he has to run them again. The Nationals placed Harper on the disabled list with a thumb injury suffered while sliding head-first, and the team fears he could be out a lot longer than 15...

Blazers Win In Overtime, Mo Williams Wants To Fight Someone
The Rockets and Blazers went to overtime for the third time this series tonight and Portland beat Houston 123-120 in the extra session. The Blazers now lead the series 3-1. ...

Fan Throws Banana On Pitch At Dani Alves, Who Promptly Eats The Banana
Someone threw a banana at Dani Alves during Barcelona's 3-2 win over Villareal in La Liga action today. Alves, not missing a beat, picked up the banana, ate it, and went about his business. ...

Swansea City's Jonjo Shelvey Scores On Mid-Field Blast
In the first half at Liberty Stadium this morning, Swansea City's Jonjo Shelvey scored from just inside the center circle against Aston Villa. A misfired ball from Ron Vlaar wound up right in front of Shelvey as keeper Brad Guzan was trying to get back to the goal. Shelvey fired a rocket over the r...

Brandon Phillips Terrifies Baby
Somebody get that baby some ice cream, man. He's had a rough day....

Budweiser Black Crown Vs. Miller Fortune: A Prestige-Beer Showdown
Craft beer has become so embedded in our drinking culture that TGI Fridays sells Sierra Nevada, Lagunitas sponsors This American Life, and your dipshit coworker's last batch of homebrew was actually kinda good, in a way, if you're into chipotle märzens. ...

Mike Miller Is Not A Chair, Kendrick Perkins
Get off of Mike Miller, Kendrick! He isn't a chair. Ah, what the heck. You deserve a quick breather. Keep workin' hard out there, Perk....

If This Is Wil Nieves's Tinder Profile, He Has A Funny Pickup Method
Via Zoo With Roy, someone spotted a Tinder user on Tuesday night using the photo of Phillies backup catcher Wil Nieves—and his daughter....

Insane Handbook: Bills Cheerleaders Are Told How To Wash Their Vaginas
There are a few things you need to know if you want to be a successful Buffalo Bills cheerleader. “When menstruating, use a product that [sic] right for your menstrual flow,” reads the “General hygiene & lady body maintenance” section of the handbook given to cheerleaders, known as the Jills. “A tam...

Here's The Routine Play That Caused Russell Allen's Career-Ending Stroke
On Tuesday, Robert Klemko of The MMQB brought us the story of former Jaguars linebacker Russell Allen, whose career ended after he suffered an in-game stroke in Week 15 of last season. Above is video of the play that led to Allen's stroke....

Daniel Carcillo Scores Goal; Flyers Fan Flips Double Bird In His Face
After Daniel Carcillo scored a goal to give the Rangers a 4-1 lead on the Flyers, he celebrated near the glass, surrounded by his teammates. One Flyers fan congratulated him with double middle fingers, right in his face. Carcillo obviously noticed....

Buffalo Bills Publish Report That Head Coach Has "BLANK TYPE OF CANCER"
The Buffalo Bills published an article which reported head coach Doug Marrone had cancer. Though Marrone may have planned to announce his cancer, the story looks to be prematurely published, since "BLANK TYPE OF CANCER" is still in the dek....

Illmatic's Dope Sports Reference
The Shaq Fu line from this record, produced by Large Professor....

Suit: Bills Cheerleaders Were Taught How To Wash "Intimate Areas"
Now come five Buffalo Jills, joining the growing list of NFL cheerleaders suing their team for allegedly flouting state and federal employment laws. In many ways, their story shows how standardized these practices have become. But in terms of micromanagement, neither of the other cheerleading teams ...

Get It Together, Avril Lavigne
This is a tough one. Below, please find "Hello Kitty," the new video from Canadian pop superstar Avril Lavigne, who will turn 30 this year, a fact not abundantly in evidence given the ear-abasing nature of the track (Skrillex' Inferno, basically) and the society-abasing depiction of modern Japan as ...

Bills Pay $3 Million To Settle Stupid Text-Message Lawsuit
A couple years back, Bills fans signed up to receive text messages featuring news and offers from the team. The fine print said they'd receive no more than five a week. This guy Jerry Wojcik got six! And then, a few weeks later, seven! So he sued. And now the Bills have agreed to cough up more than ...

Jaguars Linebacker Russell Allen Suffered An In-Game Stroke
If you have a minute at lunch today, swing by MMQB and read Robert Klemko's piece on Russell Allen, the Jacksonville Jaguars linebacker who suffered a stroke in last year's Week 15 game against the Buffalo Bills. It's another sad story in a long line of sad stories about the hell America's favorite ...
