ill Page 663 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

10 More Songs Notre Dame Could Have Used For Promotional Purposes
Remember that awful Notre Dame promotional video we wrote about yesterday? Well, it only seemed awful because everyone interpreted it wrong. Actually, it was kind of brilliant. My pal Nate Freeman, who knows nothing about sports, is here to explain....

Stories That Don't Suck: The Kentucky Derby Is Faulkneresque, Heartbreaking And, As Always, Decadent And Depraved
Every week, Tommy will excerpt a handful of stories - old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime - that he urges you to read for one reason or another. Today, I'm filling in. Still, send suggestions: [email protected]....

The Bachelor Party For One William F. Leitch Begins Now ...
Who among the chosen shall die? Will it be David Hirshey? Tommy Craggs? Half the NYmag.com's editorial staff? Stay tuned for the obits on Monday....

Private Stache: A New Feature In Which We Revisit The Unintentionally Hilarious Sports Photography Of Yore
As keeper of Sports Illustrated's indispensable Vault, Andy Gray spends a lot of his time sifting through the sports photography of another time, when athletes wore short shorts and facial hair, and everyone looked vaguely uncomfortable. Here is one such photo....

Last Night's Winner: The Emergence Of George Hill (As A Professional Basketball Player)
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Spurs' point guard George Hill, who helped the rickety San Antonio Spurs topple the Dallas Mavericks in six ref-marred games....

Blackhawk Duncan Keith Doesn't Appreciate You Prying Into His Finances
This video, taken during Game 4 of the Chicago-Nashville series, shows a Predators fan/heckler getting under the skin of defenseman Duncan Keith. Keith's Norris Trophy-nominated response? A refreshing Gatorade spritz. Points for accuracy immediately deducted for being a ninny. [ChicagoNow]...

What It's Like To Eat Dinner With Bill Murray
So, either your letters have been answered or you're Wes Anderson: How do you navigate the minefield of social norms and potential faux pas and handle dinner with Bill Murray? New York Magazine's Jada Yuan lays it all out....

The Marquis Teague Scholarship-Revocation-Countdown Begins Now
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

Introducing The Sports Phella, Phil Simmons
Bill Simmons was nice enough to Tweet-lert everyone of ABCNews.com's captioning gaffe but we all know it was just to prove he gets invited to parties/smokes up with Ricky Williams. Click 'n' embiggen. [@sportsguy33]...

Miller Park: Just The Latest Stadium Of Death (UPDATE)
Two freak accidents in two days, and it's clear that spectators in Milwaukee are taking their lives in their hands when they come out for a ballgame, what with all the flying bat shards, and falling fans....

High School Footage Of Skinny Shaquille O'Neal Here To Make Cavs, Suns, Magic, LSU Fans Weep
Judging by the 8-and-6 he's averaging thus far in the playoffs, Shaq's career seems to be rapidly winding down. Marvel at this 20-year-old footage of him running the break and generally looking like Wilt and David Robinson rolled into one. [NBAOffseason.com]...

Vomiting Phillies Fan's Uncle Would Like Us To Do...Something
Ever since we've started covering the story of Matthew Clemmens, best known for allegedly vomiting on an 11-year old girl, and rocking "Material Girl" at karaoke, his uncle has been pestering us about...well, we're not really sure what he wants....

Matt Millen Apologizes
Matt Millen Apologizes To The Polacks [Tirico Suave]...

Matt Millen Apologizes For Calling Ron Jaworski A "Polack"
In cased you missed it, yesterday Millen was on-air discussing fried bologna sandwiches with Buffalo native Ron Jaworski and said "ask any Polack from Buffalo how they like them, right Jaws?"...

Ridiculous Rain Delay Proves Once And For All That College People Have Too Much Free Time
Florida Atlantic and Western Kentucky were mired in a rain delay of indeterminate length and decided to get a little silly rather than adjust their jocks and spit sun-flower seeds like those layabout MLBers. H/T, like, 15 of you. [YouTube]...

Shaq Lip-Syncs To That One Rick Springfield Song, With Puppets
Shaquille O'Neal loves to have fun, and fun is what you get when you mix Shaq, puppets, and Rick Springfield's "Jessie's Girl." The only thing missing is a Chinese man named Cosmo lighting some fireworks. [Ustream]...

Family Rushes To Vomiting Fan's Defense In Eminently Quotable Fashion
Now I'm no Perry Mason, but I'd say that if your defense rests in part on there being a distinction between a right person and a wrong person on whom to ralph, your case is lost already....

William Houston Still Shaking His Fist
Angry Billy Houston has a lengthy to-and-fro with Pension Plan Puppets. "Truth is, you're a pathetic piece of shit who can't function as a real journalist so you operate that awful blog," writes the former journalist who now operates a blog. [PPP]...

Apropos Of Nothing, Here's Phillies Vomit Kid Doing Madonna Karaoke
Mean-spirited? Yeah, a little. Only tangentially related to sports? Sure. But fuck it. Here's Matthew Clemmens (stage name: Pukemon) with "Material Girl."...

Strikeforce Post-Bout Brawl Is Childish, Exciting
Jake Shields was confronted during a post-fight interview by Jason "Mayhem" Miller demanding a rematch (Shields beat him in November). Because MMA wants to be the new boxing, their entourages got into it. Bonus: Gus Johnson gets righteous!...