ill Page 679 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Manny Takes A Clean Loss
Manny Ramirez was in the shower when Jimmy Rollins's double ended last night's game. So for all we know, he still thinks the Dodgers won. Shh, don't anybody tell him! [FOXSports]...

There Goes The Greatest Halloween Costume That Ever Lived
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

No One Really Knows If The Angels-Yankees Game Will Be Played Tonight Or Not
With a little more than two hours remaining before the scheduled first pitch, we're not sure if Game 2 of the ALCS between the Yankees and Angels will be played or not....

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Citizens Bank Park
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The Philadelphia Phillies' Citizens Bank Park....

Jerry Jones Thinks Wade Phillips Can Totally Beat The Patriots This Year
"Two years ago the Giants were in trouble," Jones said. "It was also absolutely expected that something was going to happen with the coach....Well, that same year they won the Super Bowl....This is a long, long journey." [DMN]...

I'm Not Sayin', I'm Just Sayin'
That prosecuting attorney who decided to charge Jerry Smith and Terrence Jennings with only a single misdemeanor charge, instead of the police's harsher recommendations? He's a proud graduate of Louisville Law School. [Rush The Court]...

Phillies-Dodgers Is Just Like Bloods-Crips, Insane Person Writes
Stu Bykofsky is the Philly Daily News' house lunatic who writes like he's corresponding from prison and who believes another 9/11 is just the thing to put some hair on America's chest. Care to hear his thoughts on Phillies-Dodgers?...

Cardinal Hoops Players Face Justice, Pitino Style
Louisville's Jerry Smith and Terrence Jennings were charged with misdemeanor counts of resisting law enforcement. Their coach says "it's serious" and they will be punished....just not in any way that involves playing time. Yes, that serious! [ESPN]...

A Children's Treasury Of Rick Reilly®'s Heat-Related Similes
Rick Reilly®, who yesterday brought word that Colt McCoy's girlfriend is "hotter than shrimp vindaloo," has long shown a fondness for thermodynamic analogy. We've collected a few examples, with helpful visual accompaniment....

Mike Sims-Walker's Week 5 Status: Out-Nookie
Jacksonville wide receiver Mike Sims-Walker was deactivated for Sunday's game against Seattle, an absence that more deeply affected your fantasy league than the Jaguars, who lost 41-0. Why was he out? Why else? Coitus....

How Twitter Ends Our Hero Worship
We get a lot of press releases that don't apply to us/are completely self-serving, but one today caught my eye. Not because of the subject matter, but because of what it says about how we regard our athletes in 2009....

Phillies, Angels Team Up To Stop Yankees
A simple error by the MLB web team or wishful thinking by our Buddy Bud? Or is C.C. Sabathia so intimidating it takes the Angels lineup and all four Philly starters to bring him down?...

Rick Reilly®'s Hornball Simile Propels Colt McCoy's Girlfriend Into Momentary Google Fame (UPDATE)
Colt McCoy, Rick Reilly® writes, "has a girlfriend hotter than shrimp vindaloo, Rachel Glandorf." The first thing you'll notice is that he's analogizing a woman to Indian cuisine. The second: He names her, awkwardly. And now look what he's done......

So, Just How Is Bill Simmons’ 30 For 30 Project?
The Sports Fella, and the network he fights with and occasionally works for, have put a lot of time and effort into rolling out the new "30 for 30" documentary series. So how is it?...

Davies Update: South Africa Looking Unlikely
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Terror Alert Level Lowered: The Thurman Thomas Tree Has Been Recovered
A wood carving of everyone's favorite Tecmo Bowl player (Bo Jackson is for noobs) went missing from outside Ralph Wilson Stadium yesterday. But no worries, as it's turned up across the border....

Good Ol' Poise
What have we here? Two young, relatively unformed quarterbacks who play efficiently enough in winning efforts to be anointed with hollow praise? And they're going head-to-head? America had a poisegasm yesterday — and perhaps found a new talisman of poise....

Shane Victorino's Herbal Essences Commercial
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Delighting In Rick Reilly®'s Massively Wrong Broncos Predictions
Reilly® has written many nasty things about "Boy Blunder" Josh McDaniels and the Broncos, presumably because the latter hired the former to replace his tandem-bike partner, Mike Shanahan. Now that Reilly's 4-12 prediction is a mathematical impossibility, let us revisit....

Josh McDaniels Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Josh McDaniels, who won the weekend by proving that he's not a foolishly incompetent man-child. Yes, the bar was set pretty low....