ill Page 680 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cole Hamels Will Warp Your Mind
Take a good, long look at this "photo" atop Cole Hamels's official web site. Notice anything?...

Rockies-Phillies Game Called Off
It's going to be a little chilly in Denver this evening so Game 3 of the NLDS has been postponed until Sunday night. Don't worry, baseball players. No one thinks less of you. [Photo via Denver Post]...

The True American Way To Ball Hawk: Sue
The Happy Youngster might be on his way to law school after reading this one; a Miami family has forced the Phillies to return a home run ball by threat of a lawsuit. America!...

Today In Thinly-Veiled Omens
The oldest male jaguar at the Jacksonville Zoo has been euthanized, after suffering since August. Panthers throughout Florida and the Carolinas are sleeping poorly tonight. [Times-Union]...

Cole Hamels Leaves Game When Wife Goes Into Labor
Hamels left with his stick-figure artist wife, Heidi, after she went into labor with their first child. Hamels had given up four runs and seven hits in five innings, laying, as if in sympathy, an enormous Game 2 egg. [ESPN]...

WFC Open Thread
Phillies vs. Rockies. Cliff Lee vs. Ubaldo Jimenez. Smelly Cheese Steak Heads vs. Tongue Bathers. [Yahoo!]...

The Forgotten Man Of <em>Moneyball</em>, Part 1
He calls himself "the pebble that started the avalanche," the man who taught baseball analysis to Billy Beane. Gandhi, someone wrote, sparking MLK's revolution. Today, Moneyball remains a hotly debated phenomenon. Eric Walker is a footnote. Here's the footnote's story....

Nicaragua's About To Get Some New Tigers Gear
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Philly Nightlife Too Much For Marlins Pitcher
Sean West is a nondescript pitcher on a nondescript Florida Marlins team. But his night on the town in Philadelphia this weekend? Well, it defies description....

Rick Reilly® Has Found A New, Bizarre Way To Express His Oral Fixation
Teeth jokes are out. Tongue-bathing is in....

Zombie Pat Tillman Would Be Playing For Bill Belichick Right Now, Peter King Reports
In March 2003, the United States embarked on a misbegotten and illegitimate war in Iraq that would have profound and sadly irrevocable consequences on ... the 2005 NFL free-agent market. So says Peter King....

MLB Postseason Preview: Philadelphia Phillies
For those refined gentlepeople who prefer the cerebral grace of baseball to the plebian savagery of football, October is the greatest of months. Will Leitch looks at each of the eight playoff combatants. Now up: The Philadelphia Phillies....

The Lost Poise
Mark Sanchez threw three picks in yesterday's loss to the Saints, and on the season he has five interceptions against four touchdowns, all of which means that sportswriters must now address the grave matter of Sanchez's inexplicable lack of poise....

Baseball Update!
Oh, shit, the Twins just scored four runs. And they look great in those throwbacks! Though honestly you see so many TC hats these days (even in New York!) that I'm seriously missing the lowercase M. Poor Greinke :(...

Jayson Williams Walks Into A Bar…
I like to support small business, and Marshall Stack, the tavern directly opposite my apartment building, is no exception. But a few weeks ago the "Stack," as regulars call it, received a visit from a truly exceptional man....

Mike Francesa Continues Bitter Assault Against Sports Fella And ESPN
Irked by ESPN's "30 for 30" docu film fest, Mad Dog-less Mike Francesa went on another rant about the WWL's monopolizing of sports and called out Bill Simmons for being a "stooge" for the network. History repeating. [Fantasy555]...

Somehow, The Chilled Afterlife Of Ted Williams Manages To Get Weirder
Workers at Alcor, the cryonics lab where the frozen leftovers of Ted Williams are being preserved in liquid nitrogen, allegedly decapitated the Splendid Splinter and mutilated his head with a monkey wrench. There goes the greatest sentence ever written....

Book From Hell
So, by the looks of it, Rick Reilly®'s new book promises to be a thoroughly dignified affair that won't in any way represent another sad step in a once-great sportswriter's descent into self-parody and studied wackiness. That much is evident....

Rushin Literature
Steve Rushin, the punster who used to write awesome features and dreadful columns for Sports Illustrated, has a novel dropping next year. It's about "a friendly and unassuming lover of clever wordplay and television sports." Steve's really stretching himself. [Amazon]...
