ill Page 689 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Help William & Mary Find A New Mascot
William & Mary is as old school as old school gets, so naturally their sports teams are little traditional/racist. They need a new mascot and it's up to you to prevent (or ensure) that they become the Fightin' Asparagus....
At Wimbledon, Court 2 Means You're Ugly
Interesting story from London's Daily Mail where they get an All England Club spokesman to admit the ladies featured on the hallowed Centre Court aren't necessarily the best players, but they are the best-looking players....
Ozzie Guillen Not Helping North-South Side Relations
It's time for another round of every Chicago baseball fan's favorite game, "Guess The Deleted Expletive In Ozzie Guillen's Anti-Cubs Rant." Or for bonus fun, just make up a word and get an even better quote....
Shaq: Best Big Man Ever, Or Perpetual Second Banana?
We are about to enter the first week in a world in which Shaquille O'Neal is a Cavalier. Diesel's last stop or not, it's worth speculating what his legacy will be. It's not so cut and dried....
In Which Kobe Shows The Mayor Who's Boss
Kobe Bryant thinks he's bigger than the mayor of Los Angeles. And you know what? He's right. Divas don't share the spotlight with anyone....
Billy Mays Dead At 50
"Billy Mays here!" Not anymore. Chad Ochocinco was wrong. This is worse than 9/11. Now let's all watch his ESPN360 commercials and weep gently. [TBO]...
Ask J.C. Romero About Steroids At Your Own Peril
Fan asks Phillies for autographs. Phillies walk away. Fan makes a steroid-related crack to J.C. Romero. Romero curses fan, then says, who, me? Fan says, yes, you. Romero allegedly chokes fan. [St. Pete Times]...
Which Athlete Reminds You Of Mitt Romney? The Kandi Man, Of Course
"I feel like Romney's having the same problems as [Michael Olowokandi]. On paper, he looks great, but there's just something about him that doesn't seem to add up in the minds of voters." Like every other failed prospect. [TNR]...
Knicks Settle For Jordan Hill, Knicks Fans Boo
8. New York Knicks: Jordan Hill, Arizona But hey, screw Knicks fans, right? Hill has the potential to develop into a stud, and with David Lee's future with the team in question this fills one of their needs....
Please Join KOGOD This Evening For NBA Draft Insanity
Deadspin's official draftnik for 2009 will be "KOGOD" aka "Unsilent Majority" aka "Baby KOGODINO." He will live blog until he falls asleep in a comfy chair covered in peanut shells and Velveeta. Have fun with him. [KSK]...
Twit Wars: The Sports Fella Vs. Mike Dunleavy, Sr.
Simmons is leaving blood on the keyboard because Clippers' coach Mike Dunleavy called him a "joke writer" on Cowherd's radio show. A possible tag-team bout with OchoCinco/Dunleavy vs. Merriman/Sports Fella is forthcoming. Let's make it a strap match. [SportsGuy33]...
LeBron, Meet Your New Teammate: Shaquille O'Neal
The Cavaliers and Suns have reached a deal in principle to send Shaquille O'Neal to the Land of LeBron, Yahoo! Sports reports. Ben Wallace, Sasha Pavlovic and a pick to Phoenix. No confirmation from @THE_REAL_SHAQ yet. [Yahoo!, Twitter]...
Tom Verducci Has Found His Latest Anti-Drug Mascot: Joe Mauer
Oh, lookie. Here's Tom Verducci, once again on the cover of Sports Illustrated, once again turning real live baseball players into toy soldiers whom he can draft into his own personal war on steroids....
Billy Beane Is A Golden God: Excerpts From The Scrapped Moneyball Script
It looks like Moneyball might not be coming to the big screen anytime soon because director Steven Soderbergh tinkered with the script and everyone realized that a movie version of the book made about as much sense as Joe Morgan....
Scoring At Home: Your <em>SportsCenter</em> Catchphrase-O-Meter
An occasional feature in which we explain and evaluate a SportsCenter anchor's pet phrase. Today's phrase: "I know a cat named Way Out Willy."...
Lenny Dykstra Lets The World Know He's "Flying Higher"
Here's the portion of Bernard Goldberg's follow-up with Lenny Dykstra from last night's "Real Sports" where The Dude daftly mumbles his way through an interview he appears to have completely forgotten was scheduled....
USC Knows How To Pick Coaches
Trojan athletic director Mike Garrett says he'll put his hiring record up against anybody's record, provided that record doesn't include all the coaches who turned him down before he was stuck with Pete Carroll....
Breaking: North Carolina Natives Prefer Ol' Roy To Coach K
Roy Williams has a higher in-state approval rating than Mike Krzyzewski, but here's the shock statistic: Only 14 percent have an "unfavorable opinion" of K. Must be that we (part-time) North Carolinians put country first. [Under The Dome, PPP]...
The Trials of Willie, The Inflatable Dry-Humping Shark
Willie, the mighty Tiburón, is the air-assisted mascot of a popular junior soccer team in Colombia. Unfortunately, Willie's enthusiasm occasionally gets the better of him and he recently got suspended for disrespecting an opposing team. With his crotch....
Travis Henry Leads The League In Illegitimate Children
Travis Henry just may surpass Jason Caffey in their "who can have more illegitimate children" contest. A Florida woman is claiming that Henry is the father of her 18 month-old twins....