im Page 339 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Joel Embiid Flips Out After Ben Simmons Fights Him For A Rebound
Cartoon steam billowed out of every player’s ears towards the end of a spicy 119-113 Sixers win over the Clippers Tuesday night. Joel Embiid and Patrick Beverley had to be pried apart in a meeting of master trolls; Jimmy Butler and Avery Bradley then got a double-ejection for some choke-pushing. Ear...
Lamar Jackson And The Retooled Ravens Completed Their Romp To The Playoffs
For all the sublime football the Chiefs, Rams, and Saints provided us this year, the most entertaining aspect of the season may have been the Baltimore Ravens’ transformation from fodder for the rest of AFC into the NFL’s scariest War Rig. They beat the Browns today, 26-24, to clinch a playoff berth...
Alabama Did What Alabama Does To Oklahoma
In Saturday’s first 17 minutes of game time, Alabama reeled off 28 straight points to knock down Oklahoma before anyone at the Orange Bowl had a chance to buy a second beer. That early lead proved to be the cushion Alabama needed to coast to an easy, if not entirely calm, victory in Miami. The final...
Dallas Stars CEO Takes A Heaping Dump On His Team's Most Prominent Players
The Dallas Stars are currently eighth in the NHL’s Western Conference, and are narrowly holding onto the second Wild Card spot. But they’re just 4–8 over their last 12 games, and stars Jamie Benn and Tyler Seguin are ranked 57th and 67th in the league in scoring, respectively. Apparently, disappoint...
Ben Simmons Keeps Dunking On Jazz Fans Over His Rookie Of The Year Win
Ben Simmons might not be able to shoot basketballs into hoops with any sort of consistency, but the Sixers point guard can still make life a living hell for his opponents. Just ask the hostile Utah crowd that attended Thursday night’s Sixers-Jazz game, which spent the majority of the game booing Sim...
Impact Wrestling Is Stuck In TV Purgatory And Facing A Bleak Future
The long-beleaguered Impact Wrestling, which had been hunting for a new American TV deal, announcing a new destination last Friday. Starting on January 11, the two hour eponymous weekly Impact show moves from Thursday nights on PopTV (formerly the TV Guide Channel) to Fridays at 10:00 p.m. ET on the...
Alabama Football Player Stops Himself From Saying Something Interesting About Kyler Murray
When asked a question about Heisman Trophy winner and Oklahoma quarterback Kyler Murray, Alabama defensive lineman Quinnen Williams almost gave an honest answer in advance of Saturday night’s Orange Bowl....
The Strange Career Of Jeff Monson, American MMA Fighter Turned Russian Politician
On September 9, 2018, American mixed martial arts fighter Jeff Monson became a government official in the Russian Federation. The former UFC title challenger, who was granted Russian citizenship by President Vladimir Putin less than four months earlier, was elected to a council of deputies in the ci...
The Sad, Short Story Of The First Responder Bowl
We all had this day circled on our calendars, because this is the day that Boston College and Boise State were set to meet in the big game—the one we’ve all been waiting for, the one that kept us awake last night: the First Responder Bowl. I regret to inform you that the First Responder Bowl has bee...
Time To Check In On Jim McVay And His Ridiculous College Football Grift
Today the Washington Post published a story on Jim McVay, the guy whose only job is to run a lower-tier college bowl game, and the million dollars he makes for doing it. The report, which points out how the $1,045,000 McVay made in 2017 “ranks as extreme” even in the bloated business of college foot...
No One's Scared Of Ben Simmons
Kyrie Irving caught fire to help the Celtics pull away from the 76ers for a 121-114 overtime win in a statement battle between two of the let’s say three best teams in the East. But it was his counterpoint who celebrated Christmas Day with a career high, even if it was a total accident and still sor...
Jets Deny That They'll Try To Woo Milk Fiend Jim Harbaugh
Though this isn’t as strange a rumor as Condoleezza Rice to the Browns, ProFootballTalk’s Mike Florio says a league source told him that after the season concludes, the New York Jets want to throw a buttload of money at Michigan head coach Jim Harbaugh and see if he’s interested. Huh!...
Jarvis Landry Unleashes Arm Cannon With 63-Yard Throw
Baker Mayfield has spent a majority of today’s game slicing the Bengals’ secondary into pieces. He’s been having so much fun, in fact, that he’s even passed off some of the Browns’ throwing responsibilities to non-quarterback teammates, like Jarvis Landry. On the first play of a drive starting at th...
NBA Officials Ruined Two Great Posters With Two Soft Techs
Jaylen Brown and Lauri Markkanen each had an incredible posterizing dunk in their games on Friday night. Each player looked at their respective victims and gave a slight flex in victory over their athletic accomplishment. Shortly after, each player was assessed a technical foul for their “unsportsma...
RB Leipzig's Timo Werner Gets Early Christmas Present From Werder Bremen
Werder Bremen got into the holiday spirit in their match against RB Leipzig on Saturday when a back pass from Max Kruse—a striker who was incredibly far back, for some reason—to keeper Jiří Pavlenka went horribly awry and drifted to the feet of Timo Werner, gifting the German striker one of the easi...
Buddy Hield Got Two Years Older On One Birthday
This is an odd one: Kings guard Buddy Hield celebrated his 25th birthday Monday. I know this because the NBA, ESPN, Basketball Reference, Draft Express, CBS Sports, Yahoo Sports, RotoWire, something called Roster Source, and The Official Site of the Sacramento Kings all tell me that he was born in D...
Dunking, Autofellating Otter At Oregon Zoo Dies At 20
Eddie, a sea otter at the Oregon Zoo, died this morning, as reported by the Oregonian. He was 20, a remarkably old age for otters, which usually live to be around 15. His main pastimes were dunking a little ball into a hoop, and blowing himself....
Novak Djokovic Is Yammering About Telepathy
In July, after ending a mysterious slump and winning his first grand slam title in two years, Novak Djokovic split up with his hug-loving spiritual guru, Pepe Imaz. However, Djokovic seems to have retained a lot of Imaz’s teachings, like those about the power of telepathy and telekinesis and the lim...
Donald Trump Has To Give Up Autographed Tim Tebow Gear He Bought With Charity Money. Sad!
It’s entirely possible—and would have been merciful—if you briefly blacked out under the strain of constant Trump scandals unearthed during his presidential campaign, and missed this one. If so, it’s worth rectifying that: Few scandals so better display our president’s venality, his poor business ac...
I Can't Stop Thinking About Jim Nantz Calling Tom Brady "Mr. Cool"
Jim Nantz is too fundamentally bland as a human for a conflict of interest to be concerning, but what fresh hell was this? During Sunday’s Patriots-Steelers game, the CBS broadcaster betrayed his WASPy exterior with an ejaculated moment of unrestrained happiness for his good chum Tom Brady. “Mr. Coo...