im Page 348 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
I Can't Stop Watching This Gorgeous Long Ball
Ajax midfielder Hakim Ziyech’s soaring cross-field pass in yesterday’s match against Bayern Munich was always beautiful, but watching it from this particular camera angle on loop sends it from “wow, that was cool” to “it’s been 30 minutes since I hit play on this video and I still haven’t moved”:...
Jim Harbaugh Forgot To Do The Assigned Reading On "Homecoming"
Homecoming: What does it mean? How does it make you feel? Can you eat it?...
The Time Aretha Franklin Called Dave McKenna A Liar
Our beloved colleague Dave McKenna tells good stories. He’s done a lot of cool shit, met many weird people in weird ways, and had his run-ins with the law. And after selfishly squirreling all his stories away in Slack and our brains for years, we’ve realized we have a societal obligation to share....
Manhunt Is On For Aston Villa Fan Who Chucked A Cabbage At The Team's Manager
Yesterday’s Aston Villa-Preston match was a thriller that ultimately ended in tragedy for the Villans. Though it must have hurt to watch the ball bulge the back of their net three times in the disappointing 3-3 draw, the spheroid that arguably caused Villa the deepest psychic injury was the head of ...
Javier Baez And Nolan Arenado Share Warm Hug During Live Baseball Play
The Cubs and Rockies refuse to settle this goddamn National League Wild Card game, which is now in the 13th inning. The Cubs had a good chance to end it in the bottom of the 11th, after Javy Baez advanced to second on a sacrifice bunt and the Rock men elected to intentionally walk Daniel Murphy with...
Horse Walks Into Bar, Fucks It Up
There you are, enjoying a nice beverage at a sports betting bar in France, when—bam, there’s a horse in the damn establishment and it’s wrecking all your shit....
Ron Baker Sucked A Contact Lens And Then Put It Right In His Damn Eye<em></em>
Ron Baker played 17 mostly second-half minutes in Monday night’s Knicks preseason game, which went to overtime. It was in overtime, with just under a minute left, when Baker was whacked in the face by Wizards rookie Troy Brown and had his contact lens dislodged. Lacking a few drops of nice clean sal...
Seal Slaps The Bejesus Out Of Kayaker With Live Octopus
There you are, in your boat, kayaking, in the water, in New Zealand or whatever. Here it comes, a seal! Or is it a sea lion? Does this matter? More on that later. What does it have in its—oh. It’s an octopus! What......
The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Very Determined Rat At Wrigley Field
Wrigley Rat made his late-season case for NL MVP in Wednesday night’s game. Photographer Will Byington was filming as the tenacious, indefatigable little rodent tried repeatedly to make the leap from the fencing above the ivy to berm in center field....
Wayde Sims, 20-Year-Old LSU Forward, Shot And Killed Near Southern University Campus
LSU junior forward Wayde Sims was shot near a neighboring university’s campus early Friday morning. The 20-year-old was taken to a local hospital where he died of his injuries, according to Baton Rouge Police....
The Jimmy Butler Trade Saga Has Entered The Realm Of Farce
For a team that reportedly doesn’t actually want to trade disgruntled star Jimmy Butler, the Minnesota Timberwolves sure seem intent on wasting everybody’s time. The Ringer’s Kevin O’Connor reported that Minnesota asked for Ben Simmons from Philadelphia, which is not ever a thing that’s going to hap...
I Too Am All Fucked Up By These Dang Card Tricks
The Sacramento Kings invited magician Anna DeGuzman to media day this week to destroy the minds of various unsuspecting players. Friends, the tricks are good....
Global Warming Is In Your Sports Now
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
The Baltimore Orioles Have Been Even Worse Than They Look
In 2005, the Baltimore Orioles shocked the world with a 42-28 start, good enough to keep them in first place in the AL East into mid-summer. This was before Rafael Palmeiro, fresh off his 3000th hit, lied to Congress and tested positive for steroids; before ostensible ace Sidney Ponson was arrested ...
Tulane's Large Angry Wave Has Gotten Larger And Angrier
The Tulane football program understands one thing about college sports very well: If you aren’t actually good, you can still get plenty of attention by having weird or funny uniforms. In 2016, the football program introduced the Angry Wave. I am pleased to report that the Angry Wave has grown both i...
Fastest Shed Crushes Fastest Shed's Speed Record
Imagine you are in a small building. The building has wheels. The building can move—vroom, vroom. The building has an engine that has recently exploded and resulted in months of mechanical issues afterward. Now imagine that you are in this building and you are making it do what Kevin Nicks did on S...
Everyone Thank The Marlins For Making The NL Playoff Race Fun
Things are getting hot in the National League in the final days of the season. After last night’s results, here’s how things stand: The Brewers lead the wild-card race and are a half-game back of the Cubs in the central division; the Rockies are a half-game back of the Dodgers out west and now hold ...
Report: UFC Welterweight Abdul Razak Alhassan Allegedly Raped Two Women While Working As A Bouncer
UFC welterweight Abdul Razak Alhassan was indicted Monday in Tarrant County, Texas, for charges related to the alleged rape of two women in one night in March 2018. Alhassan was reportedly arrested in April following a Saginaw Police Department investigation, and was out on $20,000 bail bond when he...
Thibs Is Still Working On Jimmy Butler
Timberwolves owner Glen Taylor is turning up the heat on Scott Layden and Tom Thibodeau to move quickly on a deal to move a disgruntled Jimmy Butler out of town. But that doesn’t mean Thibodeau is ready to abandon the zombie Bulls project just yet—according to Woj, Thibs is staying after Butler whil...
Luka Modrić Wins FIFA's Dumb Little "The Best" Award
Individual awards in soccer are inherently silly and effectively meaningless. FIFA’s premier individual award has been rendered even sillier and less meaningful recently after soccer mag France Football regained ownership of the actually prestigious Ballon d’Or, causing FIFA to invent their own “The...