im Page 349 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Real Subtle, Joe Flacco
Baltimore Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco sucks real bad, and moreover has been just sort of broadly shitty for several years, just a total glassy-eyed doofus with a giraffe neck and a knack for cartoonishly ill-timed mistakes. He’s also old. Taken together, these are the reasons why the Ravens select...
Jimmy Garoppolo Leaves Game With Reported "Serious Knee Injury"<em></em>
While trying to lead a 49ers comeback against the Chiefs, San Francisco QB Jimmy Garoppolo chose to absorb a big hit from Steven Nelson at the end of a scramble, rather than just run out of bounds. It was a poor choice, and whether it was anything about the hit itself or simply the awkward plant by ...
At Least One Minnesota Timberwolves Star Doesn't Have A Problem With Commitment
While they’re still in the midst of figuring out what to do with malcontented soon-to-be free agent Jimmy Butler, the Minnesota Timberwolves at least made a bit of good news this weekend, locking up their long-term franchise guy for the foreseeable future. Karl-Anthony Towns, a man who has been indi...
Hoffenheim Striker Misses Open-Net Game-Winner
Regardless of the sport, it’s the dream of every young athlete to one day score a last-minute game-winner in front of a large crowd at the highest level of competition. When the opportunity to live out the childlike fantasy came to TSG Hoffenheim striker Ishak Belfodil, he unfortunately did what an ...
Timberwolves Owner Is Willing To Trade Jimmy Butler Himself If Tom Thibodeau<em></em> Won't
About eight hours after reporting that the Minnesota Timberwolves were rejecting any and all trade offers for four-time All-Star Jimmy Butler, Woj went ahead and dropped another bomb on the timeline that showed just how dysfunctional the Timberwolves are....
Get That Weak Shit Out Of Tom Thibodeau's Face, Or He Might Just, Uh, Keep Jimmy Butler
The Minnesota meltdown continues, in dribs and drabs, and the framing of the latest Woj Bomb over at ESPN is extremely enjoyable. Just have a nibble from the first three grafs:...
Soccer Man's Goal Celebration Takes Surprise Detour Into The Twilight Zone
Meet Benjamin Kololli, a 26-year-old soccer player currently plying his trade in Switzerland. Kololli was in Cyprus yesterday, with his squad FC Zürich playing a big match against AEK Larnaca. Kololli is an important player, so he would not have been shocked to have been placed smack dab in the midd...
Browns Fan Saves Possum From Having To Watch The Rest Of Thursday Night Football<em></em>
A poor, foolish possum somehow made its way into the stands at Thursday night’s Jets-Browns game, in Cleveland. Maybe he’s a big Baker Mayfield fan! It’s unlikely the little fellow had a valid ticket—as such, he was captured and put into a box by a jersey-clad gentleman who seems really admirably co...
The Darkest Form Of Basketball Is This Dead Whale Clanging Off A Dumpster
The wonderful state of New Hampshire—full disclosure: I grew up in New Hampshire—has made national news this week, as the world has been captivated by the Granite State’s inability to properly dispose of a dead minke whale that washed ashore at Jenness Beach in Rye Monday. Though a juvenile, the wha...
Even Lauri Markkanen Is Popping In For The Timberwolves' Meltdown
Lauri Markkanen, who was drafted at No. 7 by the Timberwolves last year only to be shipped off to Chicago in the Jimmy Butler deal, seems awfully nostalgic about that moment today....
The Time Dave McKenna Converted His Son From Katy Perry To Minor Threat
Our beloved colleague Dave McKenna tells good stories. He’s done a lot of cool shit, met many weird people in weird ways, and had his run-ins with the law. And after selfishly squirreling all his stories away in Slack and our brains for years, we’ve realized we have a societal obligation to share....
Timberwolves Drama Turns Into Spicy Internet Beef Somehow Featuring Stephen Jackson
You’re going to have to put a little effort into keeping up, here, because it involves multiple different social media platforms, and I am getting too old for this shit....
"League Sources" Say Karl-Anthony Towns Is A Donkey
All the reporting about the souring of the relationship between Jimmy Butler and the Timberwolves points to fit issues between Butler, Karl-Anthony Towns, and Andrew Wiggins. Butler’s “honest conversations” with Wolves brass led in short order to a trade request, and a list of preferred trade partne...
![Report: Jimmy Butler Wants Out Of Minnesota [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/lqylp2y2xhxve5drmgjf.jpg)
Report: Jimmy Butler Wants Out Of Minnesota [Update]
Clearly all was not well in Minnesota. Via The Athletic’s Shams Charania and Jon Krawczynski, we can now see the full scope of that unwellness: Jimmy Butler, the Timberwolves’ star of the present, has asked to be traded, possibly due to conflict with their star of the future, or maybe it’s just Andr...
Orioles Rookie's First Career Base Hit Turns Into Ridiculous Clown Show<em></em>
The Orioles and Blue Jays are currently playing a series that has no significance whatsoever to the greater baseball universe. The only reason to have these games is so such-and-such youngster can get his first taste of life in the majors. In this case the youngster is Orioles rookie outfielder DJ S...
Michael Bradley Might As Well Retire After Zlatan Ibrahimović Ethered Him
Zlatan Ibrahimović scored what might have been the greatest goal of his life last Saturday in the L.A. Galaxy’s game against Toronto FC. Somehow, that goal—the 500th of his career—might not have been the most ruthless thing he did that day....
Orioles Catcher Caleb Joseph Wants All His Teammates To Think About How Badly They Suck
The Orioles have won 43 games this season. They’ve lost 107. They are tied with the 1988 team for most losses in franchise history. Given all this, it’d be bigger news if players weren’t talking about how much the team sucks, but catcher Caleb Joseph, who’s been with the organization since he was ...
All Is Not Well In Minnesota
Jimmy Butler helped the Minnesota Timberwolves improve their win total by a whopping 16 games from the 2016-2017 season to last season. Playing with one of the NBA’s most promising young big men and surrounded by, umm, a familiar cast of playoff-tested veterans, it would seem that Butler has landed ...
Mike Zimmer On Why He Cut Kicker Daniel Carlson: "Did You See The Game?"
Being a kicker in the NFL sucks not only because everyone gets mad at you when you fuck up, but also because nobody ever respected you all that much in the first place. How else to explain Vikings head coach Mike Zimmer answering a question about why he cut kicker Daniel Carlson—who missed three fie...
Dimitri Payet Is Still Alive And Kicking The Bejesus Out Of Soccer Balls
Remember when Dimitri Payet came to the Premier League a few years ago, immediately set the world on fire by single-handedly transforming West Ham into must-see TV with his gasp-inducing talent and irrepressible flair, and then jilted all those new fans he’d earned right when we were starting to get...