im Page 352 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
European Soccer Is Loaded With American Kids Ready To Tear Shit Up<em></em>
American wonderteen Christian Pulisic will begin his march to the 2019 Ballon d’Or this weekend when Borussia Dortmund open their Bundesliga season against RB Leipzig. It’s hard to believe that Pulisic is still only 19, since he’s already got two stellar seasons at Dortmund under his belt and is the...
Behold, Tomato Time Is Suddenly Upon You
A very long time ago (2015), our old buddy Tom Scocca posited, convincingly, that there are eight distinct seasons. This part of the year, from August through mid-September, he calls “Yellow Summer,” and ranks as the fifth-best season, which seems fine. After all, it’s muggy and buzzy and gross outs...
New ESPN President Jimmy Pitaro Is Ready To Roll Over For The NFL
After five months in charge at ESPN, company president Jimmy Pitaro got up in front of a bunch of reporters on Friday and revealed his big new vision for the network. Based on Piatro’s comments, ESPN will stride boldly into the future by sticking to sports and playing lapdog for the NFL....
Stephen A. Smith(?) Delivers Motivational Speech(??) To Syracuse Football Team(???)
How and why ESPN shout-master Stephen A. Smith ended up sermonizing to the Syracuse football team doesn’t really matter. Whether he was invited to meet the team or just happened to stumble into a room with a bunch of football players in it, something like this was always going to be the result:...
Simone Biles Swept All Five Titles At The National Championships
BOSTON — Simone Biles ascended to the top step of the podium a lot last night. Five times, to be exact. In only her second competition since the Olympic Games in Rio, Biles swept all five titles at the 2018 national championships. She placed first on vault, on uneven bars, on balance beam, in floor ...
Stick All The Forks In These Losers
The Nationals got smoked Sunday afternoon, at home, by the garbage Marlins. Jose Ureña—yes, that fucking guy—pitched a dominant two-hitter for his first career complete game. Ureña, by the way, on top of being a shithead, is bad! He came into the game with a 3–12 record, and a crummy 4.74 ERA, and a...
Report: Larry Nassar Is Being Shuffled Between Federal Prisons Following Reports Of Inmate Assault
The Detroit News reported in May that disgraced former USA Gymnastics and Michigan State doctor Larry Nassar was assaulted by fellow inmates at the United States Penitentiary, Tucson, “within hours of being released into the general population,” according to his attorney. Now it appears that Nassar ...
Another Joint Practice, Another Huge Brawl
Folks, we’ve got another joint practice brawl, this time between the Colts and Ravens, at Colts training camp Saturday afternoon. The brawl appears to have started after Colts linebacker Antonio Morrison leveled Albert McClellan in a special teams drill, and McClellan jumped up ready to make war:...
Don Mattingly Will Protect The Cowardly Jose Ureña From Comeuppance
Marlins pitcher Jose Ureña was suspended six games by Major League Baseball for his bush-league plunking of Ronald Acuña Jr., to break up Acuña’s three-game streak of leadoff dingers. As should be expected whenever a player is suspended, Ureña has appealed the punishment, which means he is eligible ...
Here Are Some Videos Of Simone Biles Dominating At The National Championships
BOSTON — We are just eight routines into Simone Biles’s return to competition and I’ve already run out of superlatives to describe just how good she is. I feel like everyone who is tasked with writing about Biles more than once finds themselves reaching for the thesaurus just to find new ways of des...
Does Anyone Remember Jim?
In February of 2017, at some conservative event in Maryland, Donald Trump said that Paris was a ruined city because too many brown and black people live there now. (I’m giving you the gist.) He attributed this opinion to his friend “Jim,” a “very, very substantial guy.” Is this jogging your memory?...
You'll Never Guess What Alabama Plans To Spend Another $600 Million On
You almost have to respect the University of Alabama for so boldly and dickishly doubling down on the extreme inequality that plagues college athletics, without even the slightest care for the awful optics of their decadence. Almost. ...
There Are No Clean Hands In The Latest WWE Twitter Blow-Up<em></em>
Pro wrestling Twitter completely imploded on Wednesday. Well, more than usual....
Simone Biles Doesn't Want To Be A Savior<em></em>
Just the other day, I was talking to a fellow gym nerd about the upcoming world championships in October. “Who’s your number two?” she asked, by which she meant who did I think would win the silver at worlds. I won’t say my answer because I am almost always wrong about these things. I don’t have to ...
Dwyane Wade Asks Jimmy Butler To Kindly Wipe His Drool Off Gabrielle Union's Instagram Photos<em></em>
Dwyane Wade and Jimmy Butler were previously teammates on the Chicago Bulls, so this could be a lighthearted gag between friends. Uh, maybe....
Why Your Team Sucks 2018: Baltimore Ravens<em></em>
Some people are fans of the Baltimore Ravens. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Baltimore Ravens. This 2018 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here....
Jose Ureña Played Dumb And Defiant After Plunking Ronald Acuña
Pretty much the entire baseball world (except for Keith Hernandez) united against Marlins pitcher Jose Ureña after he knocked red-hot Braves starlet Ronald Acuña out of the game with a first-pitch heater to the elbow. Braves first baseman Freddie Freeman called Ureña “gutless.” Even his own manager ...
Cowardly Jose Ureña Beans Ronald Acuña To Avoid Another Lead-Off Dinger
20-year-old Braves slugger Ronald Acuña Jr. is molten hot right now, blasting eight homers in his last eight games and lead-off dongs in each of his last three. If you’re Marlins starter Jose Ureña, facing the Braves tonight, you can either take Acuña’s recent success as an exciting challenge to you...
Jim Harbaugh Won't Talk About D.J. Durkin's "Bully Coaching" While At Michigan
D.J. Durkin is on administrative leave from his job as Maryland’s head football coach while the school investigates allegations that the toxic culture of his program may have contributed to the death of offensive lineman Jordan McNair. While he waits, Durkin’s former employers are belatedly coming u...
C.J. McCollum On The Trail Blazers' Playoff Woes: "Im Trying Jennifer"
When Portland-based podcaster C.J. McCollum appeared on China Central Television in late July to promote some kind of shoe, he had some choice words about superteams, as seen in a video that is just now making the rounds in American media:...