im Page 351 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Feds Investigating Former Kings Exec For Reportedly Stealing $13.4 Million To Buy Beach Houses
According to a report from the Sacramento Bee, former Kings exec Jeffrey David embezzled $13.4 million from two Kings sponsors and used the money to buy beach houses in Southern California. David allegedly took $9 million from Golden 1 Credit Union, title sponsor for the Kings arena, and another $4....
Was This Raccoon Witch Cursing The Baltimore Orioles? An Investigation
The Baltimore Orioles came into Wednesday night a horrendous 52.5 games out of first place in the AL East, and an equally shocking and horrifying 40.5 games back of the AL Wild Card. All of that sucking and losing happened before 8:33 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, when it was announced that this devi...
Browns Cut Mychal Kendricks Following Federal Insider Trading Charges
That was quick. The Cleveland Browns officially released linebacker Mychal Kendricks tonight after he was indicted on federal insider trading charges earlier in the day. GM John Dorsey said in a statement that the team knew Kendricks was part of an investigation before he was signed, but only as a v...
Marlins To Allow Musical Instruments At Otherwise Deathly Quiet Marlins Park
The Marlins have the worst home-field advantage in baseball, drawing a whopping 4,600 fewer fans per home game than the next lowest average attendance in the league. If you bring a harp to a Marlins home game and use it to play a soothing acoustic version of “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” during the...
Browns Linebacker Mychal Kendricks Charged With Insider Trading
Federal authorities have charged former Eagles and current Browns linebacker Mychal Kendricks with insider trading. According to charging documents released by the government today, Kendricks made $1.2 million from illegal trades that were based on tips given to him by former investment banker Damil...
The Steelers' Privacy Tarp Would Be No Match For My Espionage Abilities
Last week came reports of the Pittsburgh Steelers erecting a tarp wall at the end of their practice field, apparently for the purpose of keeping prying eyes away from their football activities. When asked about the tarp, head coach Mike Tomlin mentioned “drones and so forth,” and the need for his pl...
How Maple Bats Kicked Ash And Conquered Baseball
As Barry Bonds pursued the single-season home run record in 2001, no detail went uninterrogated....
Alleged Thief Crashes Stolen Truck Full Of Paint, Ends Up Covered In Paint
Workers closed a lane on the 100 block of South Queen Street in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, yesterday morning. They could not have possibly predicted what would end up happening as a result....
Chelsea Manager Maurizio Sarri Has A Weird Solution For His In-Game Cigarette Urges
Chelsea manager Maurizio Sarri really, really likes to smoke. So much so that he used to light up on the sideline and in the tunnel when he managed Napoli:...
Nick Saban Still Won't Clear Up His Starting Quarterback Controversy
Top-ranked Alabama will kick off its season this Saturday against Louisville. With only five days before the first game of the year, the depth chart should be locked into place and everyone should know their roles as the Crimson Tide prepares to defend their national title. However, Nick Saban still...
Kiko Alonso Makes Important Third-Down Tackle, Promptly Runs To The Wrong Sideline
Late in the first quarter of Saturday’s Dolphins-Ravens preseason tilt, Dolphins linebacker Kiko Alonso brought down Maxx Williams on a short completion on third-and-17, forcing the Ravens to bring on their field goal unit. Alonso kind of rolled off of Williams, then trotted over to the sideline. Th...
Report: ESPN's Gutless Future Will Not Include Jemele Hill
One week after new president Jimmy Pitaro articulated his bold new vision for the future of ESPN—neuter it and lay submissively at the feet of Roger Goodell—comes a report that Jemele Hill will be leaving the company later this week:...
Icy Dead People
Flyers goalie Alex Lyon will apparently wear a mask commemorating goofy M. Night Shyamalan horror flick The Sixth Sense this upcoming season....
Ronald Acuña Jr. Gets Revenge, But The Braves And Marlins Aren't Done Beefing Yet
Earlier this month, Marlins pitcher Jose Ureña spiced up the team’s divisional rivalry with the Braves by plunking the white-hot rookie Ronald Acuña Jr., who at the time had hit three consecutive lead-off dingers. (The HBP didn’t technically snap Acuña’s streak, although he didn’t hit a lead-off HR ...
Please Don’t FaceTime In Public Like A Complete Asshole<em></em>
You already know the rules of engagement here. If you are out in public, you should not make a show of yourself. You should not run around naked. You should not punch people. You should not watch video on your phone without without headphones. And you should not EVER, under any circumstances, engage...
Simone Biles's Skills Are Even More Mind-Boggling In Very Slow Motion
Have you ever watched Simone Biles do gymnastics and thought, “I need to watch her again, this time in super-slo-mo so I can really appreciate what I just watched”? If so, you’re in luck, because we’ve slowed down Biles’ performance from this weekend’s national championships (where she routed the fi...
Christian Covington's Ego Takes A Hit As The New <i>Madden</i> Has Him Looking Like A Gelatinous Thumb
Texans defensive end Christian Covington is not a particularly handsome man. He’s not an ugly man, either, just an average-looking one. Still, as unremarkable as Covington’s face may be, he does not resemble the creepy, poorly rendered avatar the folks at EA assigned him in Madden 19, as he has disc...
Wily Fox Steals Golf Ball Right Off The Green
Golfers are used to having to contend with environmental hazards, from violent winds, to prehistoric swamp monsters, to fires spewed forth from the bowels of the earth. During one recent round in Massachusetts, golf aficionado Daniel Adams was confronted with the added challenge of a thieving fox. A...
Dimitar Berbatov's Arrogant, Curse-Filled Breakdowns Of His Old Goals Are Wonderful
Many players have scored more goals than Dimitar Berbatov, but few have scored as many flatly stunning ones, or done so with the flair and insouciance that made nearly every one of his goals legitimately preposterous. It was preposterous that any human body could, as a simple matter of physics, exec...
Outgoing Transfer Accuses Texas A&M Of A Boatload Of NCAA Violations
The NCAA’s new transfer waiver rule lets players make the case that they should be allowed to play right away at their new schools, so long as their transfer was triggered by hardships beyond their control. Holding aside, for the moment, that requiring a waiver in the first place is bogus and unfair...