im Page 361 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Simona Halep Won The French Open By Remembering How She Lost It
Simona Halep, by age 26—something like the physical prime in modern tennis—had it all, almost. There was still a void at the center of everything. It wasn’t money: She’s made over $26 million in her career and played this French Open in full swoosh gear, hinting at a recent off-court windfall. It wa...
The World Cup Is Coming To Russia, Which Means Stray Dogs Are Being Slaughtered
This week, Russia will host the 2018 World Cup, one of the biggest international sporting events in the world. The country will play host to millions of tourists across the 11 host cities within the Russian Federation. Those visiting will be able to attend matches in Moscow, the capital city, as wel...
Dead Letters: Special Insane Voicemail Edition
If you’re a regular reader of this site, you are no doubt aware that people often use our email tips line to send us their deranged and rambling thoughts about how terrible we are. But only our most dedicated haters, the ones who really have the goods on us, are willing to share their thoughts in ou...
Oh No, Vlad Jr.'s Injury Timeline Is Expanding
The Blue Jays put gentle dinger machine Vladimir Guerrero Jr. on the 7-day disabled list last weekend after he tweaked a leg injury on a dipshit single on Saturday. It was a tough blow, but we are grownups, and we can survive seven days without our strong dong-mashing idol. It has now been seven day...
Simona Halep Claims First Slam Title, One Year After Roland Garros Collapse
A year after she blew a one-set lead in the French Open final to allow unseeded Jeļena Ostapenko to claim victory on the clay, Simona Halep bounced back from losing the first set to defeat Sloane Stephens and seize the first Grand Slam title of her career, 3–6, 6–4, 6-1....
Bill Simmons And The Ringer Obtain Restraining Order Against Ex-Producer Joe Fuentes
The Ringer has obtained a restraining order against former audio producer Joe Fuentes, who was fired from the company on April 25. The restraining order, first reported by The Blast, was granted this morning. It legally bars Fuentes from coming within 100 yards of the Ringer offices, any Ringer empl...
Are The Orioles Going To Let Chris Davis Have The Worst Season Ever?
Orioles first baseman Chris Davis is in real danger of having the worst season in the history of baseball. That’s not a joke or hyperbole. He’s playing unbelievably, historically bad baseball:...
Universe Snuffs Last Remaining Spark Of Joy, Sends Vlad Jr. To The Disabled List
In an absolute bullcrap turn of events, dear sweet masher Vladimir Guerrero Jr. was sent to the disabled list Thursday with an injured leg. Per the Toronto Sun:...
Gator, Tied Up And Pissed Off, Owns The Hell Out Of His Asshole Captors
Do the best you can with what you have—it’s an old idiom, and one that is particularly useful when it comes to explaining the above image. It is also useful to note the pathetic foot at lower left. Here is how it came to pass....
Ugly Schoolboy Football Feud Leaves Baltimore Powerhouse With Zero Opponents For 2018
If you can’t beat ‘em, blackball ‘em. That’s among the morals of the story of the dissolution of Baltimore’s prep football scene, which is now complete: St. Frances Academy, a historically non-athletic and financially strapped institution which is suddenly among the best football schools in the coun...
Darren Rovell On Fake Headline He Wrote 12 Hours Earlier: "It’s Just Really Bad"
Darren Rovell, an AI who aims to drive Earth’s entire population insane through the banality of its observations, launched yet another attack on our psyches last night:...
Luke Heimlich Didn't Get Drafted
Oregon State pitcher Luke Heimlich, the MLB prospect who pleaded guilty to sexually abusing his niece in 2012, went unpicked on the final day of the MLB Draft this year, as every major-league team passed on him over the course of 40 rounds. For the time being, at least, it appears that the majors ha...
Ravens Give Bullshit Player-Blaming Explanation For Violation Of Offseason Rules
The offense and the punishment here are minor and don’t much matter, but the excuse is very much indicative of how things work in the modern NFL....
I’ve Had It Up To Here With Solemn Musical Sequences On TV<em></em>
The Americans had its series finale least week and if you’re worried about me spoiling the end for you, please have no fear. I’m not here to shatter your dreams or point out continuity errors. So, without giving any particulars away, I thought the finale was a perfectly fine ending to a well-done se...
The Time Barack Obama Tracked Down Dave McKenna At A Coffee Shop
Our beloved colleague Dave McKenna tells good stories. He’s done a lot of cool shit, met many weird people in weird ways, and had his run-ins with the law. And after selfishly squirreling all his stories away in Slack and our brains for years, we’ve realized we have a societal obligation to share....
Brazilian MMA Fighters Fight, Continue To Fight Even After Fight's Stopped<em></em>
Why stop fighting when you can instead keep fighting?...
Action Hero Bradley Zimmer Lays Out For Tremendous Diving Grab
Ryan LaMarre of the Twins smashed a ball deep to left center in the second inning of today’s Indians-Twins game, where it very much had the look of a standup RBI double. That was before Indians centerfielder Bradley Zimmer came soaring in for the acrobatic highlight grab:...
Giancarlo Stanton Blesses Bachelorette Party With Healthy Dong
Giancarlo Stanton viciously smote a poor baseball into the right field stands in Camden Yards Saturday, where it was gathered by the overjoyed members of a bachelorette party wearing “Team Bride” hats:...
Gnarly Rougned Odor Takeout Slide Sparks Benches-Clearing Hullabaloo
Benches cleared for a bustling group therapy session after Rougned Odor tried and failed to break up a game-ending double play Friday night by sliding in wide and with his spikes up on the relay from Andrelton Simmons:...
Silly Baseball Goose Goes To Better Place
The silly goose that bonked itself to hell in Wednesday’s Angels-Tigers game has now supposedly been released into the scenic green wilderness of East Lansing, Michigan, after a brief stay at a veterinary hospital....