im Page 368 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Engelb Vielma Tracker: Engelb Vielma Called Up To The Majors, Plus Hot Fresh Anagrams
Now for a joyous update to the Engelb Vielma Tracker: The utility infielder has been called up to the major leagues for the first time. ...
Here's Everything At Stake On The Last Night Of The NBA Regular Season
Tonight, anyone watching the NBA will get to see the closest possible regular-season equivalent of a play-in game when the Denver Nuggets travel to Minnesota to play the T-Wolves for the last playoff spot. Both clubs are 46-35, and Minnesota leads the season series 2-1, though a 100-96 win last week...
Mike Leach Tracked A Raccoon Because He "Was Curious Where It Lived"<em></em><em></em>
Washington State head football coach Mike Leach met with reporters Tuesday to answer the boring offseason questions coaches are supposed to answer, like how the incoming freshman class is progressing, who looked good in spring workouts, and how to properly track a raccoon through suburbia. You know,...
ESPN Brought To Its Knees By Reply Allpocalypse
Today we can add ESPN to the fraternity of organizations that has seen its employees thrust into a reply allpocalypse. Witness now some of their journey into the hellish depths....
Donovan Mitchell Isn't Going To Let This Ben Simmons Thing Go
Red alert: The sniping between Philly’s Ben Simmons and Utah’s Donovan Mitchell over who should be the NBA Rookie of the Year has reached “Custom Hoodie” status....
President Of The United States, Weirdly: "Roll Tide"
It’s hard to believe, but it’s true—Donald Trump has only been President of the United States for 13 years. The time has gone by so quickly, one day screaming incoherently into the next over and over and faster and faster, and yet it has also somehow been the same endless shitty/terrifying Tuesday f...
Marlins Claim British Virgin Islands Citizenship In Attempt To Avoid Miami Court
If I asked you which MLB franchise is claiming foreign citizenship in a Caribbean tax haven, and is doing so in order to get out of a lawsuit, you’d have answered the Marlins before I finished asking the question, wouldn’t you?...
Chris Davis Went Full Bo Jackson
Chris Davis hasn’t had an especially great start to the season; he entered today 3-for-30, and going 0-for-4 with two strikeouts during tonight’s game against the Blue Jays certainly didn’t help matters. But that second strikeout—which came as he led off the sixth inning for Baltimore, down 2-1—was ...
Packers' Trevor Davis Jokes About Smuggling Bomb Onto Plane, Gets Arrested
Packers wideout Trevor Davis apparently tried to test the seriousness with which airport security takes those questions about putting stuff in your luggage. Turns out they take it pretty seriously!...
Shohei Ohtani Is Very Clearly Not From This Planet
I feel like if you’re even remotely a sports fan, you must tune in to watch Shohei Ohtani. What he is doing so far this season is genuinely insane. Listen to me! He leads the Angels in home runs, batting average, and OPS, and is second in runs batted in, and today he took a perfect game into the sev...
Shohei Ohtani's Third Dinger Was A Mighty Bomb
The Angels opened a home series against the Athletics Friday night, in a game in which 14 total pitchers were used, and neither starter made it past the fourth inning. Wait, hang on, 15 total pitchers were used—Shohei Ohtani, a pitcher, started at designated hitter for the Angels, and smoked this he...
Practice Footage Shows That Taking A Year Off From Training Doesn't Matter When You're Simone Biles
It’s been under six months since Simone Biles, the greatest female gymnast of all-time, resumed training after taking more than a year off after winning four gold medals and a bronze at the Olympics, and judging from the footage that was just posted to USA Gymnastics’ Instagram account, Biles is pic...
Scott Brooks Looked Like He Wanted To Die
Last night’s game between the Cavs and Wizards was a fun one, featuring LeBron James fully rounding in playoff form and orchestrating a 32-14 run to close out the last 7:48 of the game. The game also offered us a chance to see Wizards head coach Scott Brooks’s soul die, little by little....
Tim Tebow Has Risen To Double-A, Goes The Distance On First Pitch<em></em>
The Bronco has become the Rumble Pony. Tim Tebow has moved up a level in his minor-league baseball career, and in his first pitch of his first at-bat with the New York Mets’ Double-A affiliate Binghamton Rumble Ponies, he took one deep for a three-run homer:...
A Bald Eagle Tried To Land On James Paxton<em></em>
British Columbia native and Seattle Mariners pitcher James Paxton was standing politely at attention for the national anthem when an ostensibly trained bald eagle decided it would rather be on his shoulder than the ballpark grass. Paxton showed tremendous poise, however, by calmly accommodating the ...
Korean Basketball League's New Rule Makes Some Foreign Players Too Tall To Play
David Simon, a 35-year-old Anyang KGC center, has been playing overseas for more than a decade now, but a new rule means he’ll have to find a team in another country. He’s now too tall for the Korean Basketball League. ...
CMU Soccer Player Rescues Drowning Squirrel, Revives It With CPR Thanks In Part To <i>The Office</i>
In a heartwarming tale of a college freshman doing something right, Central Michigan women’s soccer player Natalie Belsito saved a drowning critter on campus. She credited the successful rescue to an episode of The Office....
Von Miller Says The Bloody Shark He's Holding Didn't Die
Broncos linebacker Von Miller is reportedly under investigation by the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission after his boating trip last week off the coast of Miami resulted in a photo of Miller holding a bloody hammerhead shark. Harvesting hammerheads in Florida waters is a misdemeanor,...
A Wise Homeowner's Guide To Acquiring A Rad Tool Collection
Hello. It’s me, a guy who made a “sound financial decision” and purchased a home. I may no longer be “throwing money away” on rent, but here’s the thing people always forget to tell you about owning a house: it presents you with an infinite supply of things to throw money away on. I’m here to help y...
Ravens Sign Former Browns QB
The Baltimore Ravens announced today that they have agreed to a one-year deal with a quarterback who is not Colin Kaepernick....