im Page 394 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Youths Could Face Jail Time After Climbing Golden Gate Bridge Then Bragging About It
If you’re going to climb the Golden Gate Bridge and perform a series of acrobatics that would make the Grim Reaper shit his pants, don’t say anything about it online or post a video of your exploits in which your face is clearly visible. Peter “Teatime” Kurer and Tommy Rector did not follow this adv...
Linebacker Zach Orr Retires Again
Former Ravens linebacker Zach Orr, who retired in January when doctors discovered he had a congenital spine condition, only to unretire in June, has retired again....
Without Simone Biles, USA Gymnastics Is Wide Open
This weekend, someone not named Simone Biles will win the national championship in women’s gymnastics for the first time since 2012. Biles, the winner of five Olympic medals in Rio (four of them gold), has taken 2017 off from training and competition to write a New York Times bestseller, win an ESPY...
Adrián Beltré Once Again Makes Dull Baseball Activity Fun, Uses Botched Pickoff Attempt For Nifty Spin Move
Adrián Beltré, baseball’s premier purveyor of jokes and joy, put his skills on display again Thursday night. With Beltré on second, White Sox pitcher Reynaldo López tried to pick him off—but the pickoff attempt got away from Tim Anderson covering second and rolled into the outfield, giving Beltré sp...
Miami-Dade County To Derek Jeter: You Cannot Move Home Run Sculpture, It Is Art
Previous rumors of new Miami Marlins owner Derek Jeter’s desire to remove the stadium’s dinger sculpture will not be coming to fruition, as Miami-Dade County officials have spoken up to clarify that it is a work of public art that cannot be moved....
Why Is The <i>Wall Street Journal</i> Letting Jason Whitlock Use Its Pages To Say Colin Kaepernick Isn't Black?
It’s hard to find anything truly shocking nowadays in a world that seemingly no longer has any rules, but that an ostensibly proud and legitimate newspaper like the Wall Street Journal sees fit to regularly lend its imprimatur of legitimacy to the rambling thoughts of a blithering idiot like Jason W...
Rockies Game Overrun By Charming Dogs
What’s better than baseball or dogs? Baseball and dogs. The Rockies held a Bark at the Park event last night, wherein canines barked at their park while the Rockies beat up on the Braves. I’m sure it was a good time for everyone, except maybe the Braves, who lost by 15 runs, but at least they got to...
Why Your Team Sucks 2017: Baltimore Ravens<em></em>
Some people are fans of the Baltimore Ravens. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Baltimore Ravens. This 2017 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here....
How Long Will Giancarlo Stanton Hit Homers in Miami?
Baseball’s hottest player is on a team that isn’t going anywhere this fall. Last night Giancarlo Stanton homered in his sixth straight game, a team record. It was his 11th homer in his last 12 games, and his 23rd in his last 35. He has 44 on the season, and also leads the league in slugging percenta...
The "Progressive Liberal" Wipes His Butt With The Confederate Flag
At last check in July, indie wrestler the “Progressive Liberal” Daniel Richards won his match against a Trump supporter but still had to wear a diaper and drink gross milk out of a baby bottle. A couple of weeks later at Dukes Fest, a Dukes of Hazzard-themed festival in Virginia, Richards wrestled a...
Giancarlo Stanton Is Mashing <i>So Many</i> Taters
With his first-inning knock in last night’s 8-3 Marlins win over the Giants, Giancarlo Stanton’s numbers are downright incredible. He’s homered in five straight games. He has more home runs in August than the Pirates, and as many as the Rays. He has 10 homers in his last 11. And 22 in his last 34....
Tiger Woods Had Vicodin, Dilaudid, Ambien And More In System During DUI Arrest
Tiger Woods had Vicodin, Dilaudid, Xanax, Ambien and THC in his system when arrested on suspicion of DUI on May 29, according to a toxicology report obtained by ESPN....
Phil Kessel Fills Stanley Cup With Hot Dogs To Own Toronto Columnist
Remember when Steve Simmons, columnist and stooge at the Toronto Sun, kicked off his article about the Maple Leafs trading Phil Kessel with a (later debunked) anecdote about how Kessel used to eat a street hot dog every day? I surely won’t forget that, and two Stanley Cups later, neither has Phil....
What's The Deal With Bill Simmons And Casey Wasserman?
Bill Simmons’s website and podcast have been a bit ... Casey Wasserman-y this year, haven’t they?...
The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Old Guy Fitting Through A Chair
Odell Beckham Jr.’s catch was cool, but this man fitting through the side of a chair at a pub had much more at stake....
Report: Jeets Might Do Away With The Marlins' Big, Ugly Sculpture
Over the weekend, the Miami Marlins confirmed that the team will be sold to a new ownership group led by businessman Bruce Sherman and Yankees legend Derek Jeter. The saga of Jeb, Jeets, and the Marlins may finally be over, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t more drama ahead....
Don't Ask Dan Quinn What Time It Is
Falcons head coach Dan Quinn, fresh off blowing a 28-3 lead in the Super Bowl, has joined the rich NFL tradition of corny motivational gimmicks. Behold the clock in Quinn’s office:...
Tim Tebow Took A Pitch To The Noggin And Walked It Off
The sound the ball makes when it rockets off the back of Tebow’s batting helmet is startlingly, frighteningly loud:...
Badass Cycling Man Celebrates Victory With Emphatic "Up Yours"
Here’s cyclist Lars Boom celebrating his victory on stage five of the Binckback Tour with an emphatic “up yours”:...
Idiots Hold Idiot Summit
This week, the public was treated to a rendition of one of Aesop’s lesser-known fables, The Troll, the Moron, and the Stooge. There was no real moral, just a reminder that a sizable portion of the internet consists of opportunists tugging on their own nuts and screeching when they feel they haven’t ...