im Page 395 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Kenan Thompson's LaVar Ball Impression Is Pretty Good
It’s hard to parody a man like LaVar Ball, who is already a parody of himself. And yet, I laughed a few times at Kenan Thompson’s impression, which is deadly accurate and benefits from his willingness to lean into the absurd brags....
The Marlins Lost Because They Pitched To Bryce Harper On Accident
The Marlins lost 3-2 to the Nationals last night after surrendering a 2-1 lead in the sixth when Bryce Harper banged an RBI double off the right-field wall. Getting beat by a player as good as Harper isn’t anything to be ashamed of, except when he was never supposed to be given the chance in the fir...
Penn State Football Trainer Accused Of Approving Frat’s Alcohol “Gauntlet” That Led To Pledge’s Death
Today was a wild fourth day of preliminary hearings in the case of 18 Penn State fraternity brothers charged in the February hazing death of Tim Piazza. Lawyers for members of Beta Theta Pi are attempting to get the case thrown out before it reaches trial, and a Penn State football staffer’s role in...
Cardinals Cat Is Missing
Despite the efforts of two different people, the kitten that invaded Wednesday’s Cardinals game and battled a hapless team employee apparently could not be tamed. It’s on the loose....
An Arm Wrestling Champion Shares His Secrets Then Humiliates Us Anyway
“At a low level, if a weaker guy is beaten by a stronger person, they’ll think they can never win. But at a high level, if a stronger guy beats you, you know you can get him at a different time,” competitive arm wrestler Patrick Baffa told me before he came office to teach me and some Deadspin staff...
World-Class Athlete Demoted To "Just A Pretty Face," According To World-Class Moron
Genie Bouchard, who was once ranked as high as No. 5 in the world, has been having a rough time on the court. She lost to 102nd-ranked Andrea Petkovic last week and 51st-ranked Donna Vekic yesterday, and her global ranking has plummeted to No. 70. This is certainly not the trajectory that either Bo...
Bill Simmons's Rankings Of Patriots Wins, Ranked
Bill Simmons had his buddy Hench on his podcast yesterday. They ranked the best 25 Patriots wins since 2001. It took almost two hours and I listened to all of it. Here is the correct ranking of Simmons’s rankings, honorable mentions excluded....
Here Are Three Minutes Of Overdramatic Voiceover From <i>All Access: Mayweather Vs. McGregor</i>
At its core, Showtime’s All Access series is designed to do one thing: Convince viewers to pony up the money for the pay-per-view. The latest season, which follows Conor McGregor and Floyd Mayweather before their August 26 fight, is doing a hard sell. ...
Lane Kiffin Owned By Autograph Seekers
Florida Atlantic head football coach Lane Kiffin, the most frequently dunked-on coach in recent college football history, has willingly shared two more stories about times in which he was savagely owned....
The Browns Really Want You To Buy This Whole Brock Osweiler Thing
Please remember that the only reason Brock Osweiler is currently on the Browns’ roster is because the Texans were so desperate to be rid of him that they gave Cleveland a second-round pick for absorbing Osweiler’s $16 million salary this season. Also remember that Browns GM Sashi Brown was most exci...
Substances Dumped On Mike Trout's Head To Celebrate His Birthday, Ranked
Today was Mike Trout’s 26th birthday. He recorded his 1,000th hit. He hit a home run. He remains so spectacularly talented to be almost boringly so, with no indication that he will develop any flaws soon. Here are his teammates, celebrating this glorious day by dumping all manner of stuff upon his h...
Jenny Simpson Celebrates Wildly After Taking Silver At World Championships
The women’s 1500 meters headlined the fourth day of the IAAF World Championships in track and field, and it was a worthy main event for the London crowd. Great Britain’s Laura Muir led the pack through the first 800 meters at 2:17, at which point the race turned into a sprint. ...
Would You Be Interested In A Talk Show With Tom Brady And Jim Gray?
Tom Brady has slowly and carefully built up his own lifestyle brand in recent years, with his extravagant pajamas, rabbit food, and post-human, Russell Wilson-esque ad pitches delivered through the Patriots QB’s online presence. It appears that Brady might be dipping his toe into a half-hour web ser...
Jarvis Landry Under Investigation For Possible Battery; Girlfriend Says He Never Physically Hurt Her
Miami Dolphins wide receiver Jarvis Landry is being investigated for possible battery in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. It was first reported today by Andy Slater of WINZ, and Fort Lauderdale police confirmed to Deadspin that the case is open and has been sent to the Broward County State Attorney’s Office, w...
![Naked Idiot On The Field Is Very Pleased With Himself [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/rd4ejodfxfvys2uxhk8f.jpg)
Naked Idiot On The Field Is Very Pleased With Himself [NSFW]
The biggest thing to happen at the IAAF World Championships this weekend was Usain Bolt taking bronze in the final 100-meter race of his career. The second biggest thing to happen was a jolly streaker running the track and having a grand ol’ time. Watch him break right through a security guard’s arm...
Nachos Heroically Saved From Utter Devastation By Sure-Handed Fan
Now here is a clutch play, from today’s Marlins-Braves tilt:...
Poor Inflated Giant Humiliated By Vile Curry Brothers
Seth and Steph Curry appeared on a show called “Infinite Challenge” in South Korea, where they were challenged by a group of giant inflatable men and other assorted monstrosities:...
Now Here Is A Mighty Dong
Giancarlo Stanton got all the way into this 78-mph first-pitch meatball from R.A. Dickey in the top of the fourth inning last night, and sent it to the goddamn Cenobites:...
Super Bowl-Winning QB Jim Plunkett: "My Life Sucks ... Everything Hurts"
Jim Plunkett won a pair of Super Bowls with the Raiders in the 1980s, taking home the MVP award at Super Bowl XV. He played 15 years in the league, won the Heisman Trophy at Stanford, and is the only eligible two-time Super Bowl winning quarterback not in the Pro Football Hall of Fame....