im Page 418 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Buss Brothers Sure Don't Seem Very Competent Or Well-Liked
Five days ago Los Angeles Lakers president and part-owner Jeanie Buss went to court to prevent her older brothers, Jim and Johnny, from removing her as the team’s controlling owner. They claim the entire thing is a misunderstanding and that they were calling for the annual meeting to vote on the tea...
Piss Off, Tim Tebow
Tim Tebow isn’t a major-league ballplayer, and he isn’t a pro ballplayer in any but the barest, most literal sense. Certainly, if he weren’t famous for playing football and for not having been aborted, no one anywhere would pay him money to play baseball. Look at this shit!...
Democratic Process Gives Every Idiot A Voice
The true spirit of our Founding Fathers was celebrated this week in Bayonne, New Jersey, where the local quacks, racists, and morons were allowed to voice their stupid views at a zoning hearing. ...
Bring On The Ben Simmons Point Guard Experiment<em></em>
The Philadelphia 76ers are wrapping up another losing season, one in which prized rookie Joel Embiid played just 31 games and number one overall draft pick Ben Simmons never even hit the floor. All that’s left to determine is whether Embiid will win rookie of the year on the back of just 40 percent ...
Blazers-Timberwolves Game Canceled Due To Sweaty Hardwood
A few hours before the Timberwolves and Blazers were supposed to tip off in Minnesota, ominous reports about sweaty ice in the stadium started sprouting up. Damian Lillard and the rest of the Blazers cut their warm-ups short due to the wet floor, and Lillard later gave an interview where he called f...
The New York Times Is Not Built For This
On Sunday, Frank Bruni dedicated his New York Times op-ed column to the way Donald Trump eats steak. This is not the first line of a joke. ...
Buss Brothers Claim They Aren't Trying To Take Control Of The Lakers Away From Jeanie Buss
A day after the Los Angeles Times published a fairly damning report detailing how Jim and Johnny Buss were trying to wrest control of the Lakers away from their sister, Jeanie Buss, the pair of brothers are trying to say that they never intended to do so....
After Getting His Head Stomped On, Zlatan Ibrahimović Explains Elbowing Tyrone Mings: "It Was Unlucky He Jumped Into My Elbow"
Both Tyrone Mings and Zlatan Ibrahimović somehow avoided penalties after swapping some nasty plays in Manchester United and Bournemouth’s 1-1 draw today. After first clashing when Ibrahimović seemingly pushed Mings to the ground, things really got heated just before halftime when Ibrahimović tripped...
Alabama's Reuben Foster Sent Home From NFL Combine After Trying "Do You Know Who I Am?" With Hospital Worker
Alabama’s Reuben Foster—the top linebacker in this year’s draft—has been sent home from the NFL combine after getting in a “heated altercation” with a hospital worker, according to ESPN....
Report: Jeanie Buss's Brothers Tried To Take Away Her Control Of The Lakers
Jim and Johnny Buss attempted to remove their sister, Jeanie Buss, from her role as Los Angeles Lakers president and controlling owner, reports the Los Angeles Times. According to the Times, the brothers sought to hold an emergency meeting to elect a new board of directors for the Lakers next week. ...
Golf Highlight Of The Day: Bigass Gator With Bigass Fish
“I don’t wanna get near you. I’m glad you got the fish.” ...
Baylor's Kim Mulkey Spent The Week Trying To Convince Everyone She's Sorry<em></em>
Kim Mulkey, the head coach of Baylor’s women’s basketball team, is very sorry that she advised violence against hypothetical parents expressing concern about the school’s epic mismanagement of a reported 52 rapes over four years committed by football players....
Mexican Baseball Manager "Held" For Three Nights In Crazy Alleged Extortion Scheme
The manager of a Mexican League baseball team, Francisco “Paquin” Estrada, was reported missing Thursday morning, and then found hours later....
Mesut Özil Recounts Ridiculously Dramatic Tiff With José Mourinho In New Book
If you hear about this anecdote from Mesut Özil’s forthcoming autobiography excerpted in Bild, it will probably focus on the fact that when Özil and José Mourinho were at Real Madrid, they once got into an argument in which Mourinho called Özil a coward. This is true, and pretty interesting in itsel...
You Can't Balance Out Racism
Some things don’t dissolve in a cup of platitudes....
The Bee Plays Soccer
Scientists, in their never-ending quest to replace all fields of human achievement with our new insect overlords, have studied the best way to teach a bee to play soccer....
The Largest Son In Cricket Is Ready To Take On The World
Rahkeem Cornwall is 24 years old, 6-foot-6, over 300 pounds, and poised to make a big splash. Though he has yet to make his international debut for the West Indies, the pudgy cricketer impressed in yesterday’s exhibition game between England and the West Indies President’s XI, as the two nations war...
Mike Piazza Has Been Captured By Nelly
Last week, Hall of Fame catcher Mike Piazza needled the city of St. Louis when he said he’d rather own a third-tier Italian soccer team than an MLS team in St. Louis because you “can’t get a good meal” in the city....
As Expected, The New Vikings Stadium Is Killing A Record Number Of Birds
No one can say they didn’t see this coming. Well, the birds can....
Taylor Fritz Struggles To Get Moth Off Court; Ball Girl Finds The Solution On The Bottom Of Her Foot
Taylor Fritz’s match against Adrian Mannarino tonight in Acapulco suffered a brief delay as the 112th-ranked American tried to humanely shoo a bothersome moth from the court during a second-set tiebreaker. A nearby ball girl took matters into her own hands...er, feet. Er, foot....