im Page 419 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
March Mammal Madness Is The Only Bracket You Need
There will be a lot of tournament brackets for random things in the coming weeks, pitting the best of everything from booze to TV shows to, I don’t know, cake or some shit. You can safely ignore all those brackets. This is the only one that matters: A 67-animal bracket that pits mammals* against eac...
Steven Adams To The Rim: "I Fucking Hate You So Much"
Steven Adams shoots 65 percent from the free-throw line, and sometimes a man can only take so much....
You Can Quantify How Differently Democrats And Republicans See The Future
No need to just guess how different our worldview (the smart ones) is from the others (dumb, bad people). There are numbers—awful, awful numbers....
Justin Timberlake Is The GOAT
The most talented, and frightening, man in show business....
Jimmie Johnson's Car Bashed On All Sides In Another Big Daytona Wreck
Today’s racing at Daytona can’t make it very far without a caution, and the most recent saw a half dozen cars batter Jimmie Johnson’s from every angle. Denny Hamlin, Trevor Bayne, Chris Buescher, and Kevin Harvick all teamed up to levy the punishment on Johnson, who had been running third. Another ...
This Man Lives With His Finger In His Nose
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Zlatan Ibrahimovic Free Kick Stunner Opens League Cup Final Scoring For Manchester United
Zlatan Ibrahimovic is back to doing Zlatan Ibrahimovic things, as he provided Manchester United a 1-0 lead in today’s League Cup final against Southampton with a free kick of absolute perfection. Give this man the serum that will let him play forever, please....
Ravens Safety Matt Elam Arrested With Quarter Pound Of Weed
Ravens safety Matt Elam was arrested on several drug charges early Sunday morning. When Miami-Dade police pulled him over for reckless driving just before 3:45 a.m., they found several illegal substances in his car—126 grams of marijuana, which is more than a quarter of a pound, alongside three gram...
Baylor's Kim Mulkey: Knock Parents Concerned About Sexual Assault Scandal "Right In The Face"
Today was senior day for the Baylor women’s basketball team, and rather than spending her time at the mic focused solely on her soon-departing players, head coach Kim Mulkey took a different route. ...
Sutton United Uses Outfield Player In Goal Days After Backup Goalkeeper Resigned Over Sideline Pie-Eating
Sutton United has had a hell of a week. The fifth-division club’s Cinderella run through the FA Cup came to an end; the loss that knocked them out of the tournament involved their large adult backup goalkeeper Wayne Shaw eating a pie on the sidelines, which led to a gambling probe, which led to Shaw...
Oklahoma Quarterback Baker Mayfield Arrested For Public Intoxication, Disorderly Conduct And Resisting Arrest
Oklahoma Sooners quarterback Baker Mayfield is in an Arkansas jail after Fayetteville police accused him of public intoxication, disorderly conduct, fleeing, and resisting arrest....
Muhammad Ali's Son Says He Was Detained And Questioned About His Religion At Florida Airport
Two weeks ago, the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals unanimously voted to refuse to reinstate Donald Trump’s Muslim ban. That hasn’t completely stopped arbitrary detentions at airports, and this morning, Muhammad Ali’s son Muhammad Ali Jr. revealed that he was detained for a few hours and questioned abou...
Now Let Us Heap Scorn Upon The NBA Trade Deadline Fuck-Ups
So the NBA trade deadline was a big dud, again. It featured one blockbuster deal—the New Orleans Pelicans just straight-up robbing the Sacramento Kings for DeMarcus Cousins—and then a handful of minor deals, none of which seem likely to shake up the standings all that much. That’s butt....
For 20 Years, Gymnasts Said Their Doctor Was Sexually Abusing Them—And Nothing Happened
Nineteen-ninety-six was the year the U.S. women’s gymnastics team first won team gold at the Olympics. It was also the first year that Larry Nassar acted as the team doctor at an Olympic Games. And according to Irvine-based attorney John Manly, who represents dozens of plaintiffs in a civil suit aga...
Teens Are Hoarding The Nation's Glue To Make Weird Slime Videos
Last night, I noticed that between the Kylie Jenner fan accounts and the photos of baseball WAGs, Instagram had slipped a channel into my discover feed called “oddly soothing.”...
We Won't Be Seeing Ben Simmons This Year After All
Philadelphia 76ers GM Bryan Colangelo is holding a post-trade deadline press conference, at which he revealed that 2016 No. 1 overall pick Ben Simmons will not be seeing the floor at all this season....
Far Left Peddles Grossly Sexual Giraffe Pornography Online
Though Americans may have our political differences, we can all agree that children should not be subjected to grotesque displays of nudism and sexual organs. Correction: we cannot all agree on this, judging by the latest uproar found on the internet. ...
Jung Ho Kang Admits To Third DUI Since 2009
Pittsburgh Pirates infielder Jung Ho Kang admitted in a court in Seoul, South Korea yesterday that he was guilty of a DUI following a December 2016 arrest after driving a rental BMW into a median in the middle of the night and leaving the scene. ...
Aaron Hernandez's Attorneys Might Argue That Weed Made Him Violent
Opening arguments in the second Aaron Hernandez homicide trial begin next week and ahead of the start of the trial, his attorneys have filed a list of witnesses they might call or mention during the trial....
Good Dog Joins Bike Race, Smokes The Competition
There’s not much I can give in the way of context for this video. The excited announcer is commentating in Italian, but that doesn’t necessarily mean the race was in Italy. There are no races worth filming happening in Italy right now, and also it’s winter, so this grainy footage is probably old. ...