im Page 522 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Drake Protégé Gets Duffed In The Club On A Tuesday (On A Tuesday)
ILoveMakonnen is an R&B singer who has a Twitter handle for a name. You know him from a track he recently released with Drake, the one about hanging out in the club on a Tuesday. In an exceptionally hilarious turn of events, ILoveMakonnen got attacked while performing in a New York City club. And gu...

Treon Harris To Cops: "So Is This Going To Be On ESPN And Stuff?"
The University of Florida dumped a bunch of documents today, this time lightly redacted, about the investigation into the sexual battery allegation against freshman quarterback Treon Harris. The case was closed with no charges filed, and Harris will start the Gators' next game. The records include...

Portland Timbers Boss Gets Owned By Supporters Group On Twitter
Tempers were high after the Portland Timbers failed to advance in the CONCACAF Champions League in decidedly unlikely circumstances. The Twitter account of the Timbers Army, the franchise's supporters group, vented about the lack of defensive reinforcements brought in, spurring the franchise's own...

I Am Fascinated By This Soccer Fan Who May Or May Not Be A Zombie
The photo above—first flagged by Cork Gaines on Twitter—was taken on May 21, 2003, before Celtic took on FC Porto in a UEFA Cup match in Seville, Spain. My first reaction to this photo went like this: "Wait, I think that purple-faced guy might be dead." Then I went looking for more photos of this du...

Bill Murray Reminisces About Slingin' Little Caesars Pizza
Itinerant viral-video elf Bill Murray appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night and talked about making pizzas at Little Caesars earlier in life, "back when Little Caesars was really great." (So, like, presumably before they attempted to turn "our pizzas are old!" into a marketing angle.) He w...

Romell Quioto Golazo Puts Olimpia Up On Timbers Two Minutes Into Match
CONCACAF Champions League action resumed tonight, and MLS's Portland Timbers traveled to Honduras to take on Olimpia—where they were greeted just moments into the match by this over-the-head flip goal by Romell Quioto....

Yes, That Damn Marlins Fan Is Back
Miami Marlins fan Laurence Leavy is a regular behind home plate at the World Series, and he's in his usual spot for tonight's Game 1. But since we still get questions about him, here's our post from two years ago. ...

In Which We Learn That Tim Kurkjian Bites His Fingernails
It's cool. We all have vices. ESPN's Tim Kurkjian chews his fingernails. Hey, it could have been worse. It might have been his toenails!...

"The Buttfumble Song," Starring ESPN's Mike Tirico
During last night's Monday Night Football clash in Pittsburgh, ESPN announcer Mike Tirico referred to the Buttfumble by its proper title. While analysts and and anchors have previously mentioned that great event, we can't recall ever hearing "buttfumble" spoken during a game (and a search of closed ...

Croatian Boxer Viciously Attacks Referee After Match
Croatian boxer Vido Loncar took on Algirdas Baniulis at the European Youth Boxing Championships in Zagreb, and the match was stopped after Loncar started getting lit up by Baniulis. Loncar was not happy with that decision, and vented by beating the shit out of the referee....

Peyton Manning Throws 509th Career TD Pass, Sets NFL Record
Peyton Manning is the new NFL touchdown pass king after his eight-yard pass to Demaryius Thomas put the Broncos up 21-3 tonight against the 49ers. Watch the ceremony above—complete with keep-away— and the record-setting pass below....

Here's An Unconscious Browns Fan In The Jacksonville Parking Lot
A tipster in Jacksonville sends along this photo of a Browns fan, having been vanquished by Blake Bortles and the Jaguars and a punt to the face, lying belly-up in the Jacksonville parking lot. ...

Desperation, No-Look, Over-The-Backboard Shot Somehow Goes In
Here's a crazy shot from today's Union Olimpija-Partizan Belgrade game. Olimpija's Blaž Mahkovic didn't give up on the possession, and now he's a highlight. What's Slovene for "Tommy Point"?...

Blake Sims Has Rockets In His Shoes
Don't believe me? Watch his touchdown against the Aggies above. That's a 43-yard rush for score, and he's the quarterback....

Hey, Where The Hell Is Bill Simmons's Friday NFL Picks Column?
Where in the damn hell is the Friday NFL picks column? Just where the hell is it? Don't come at me with this Barnwell skunkweed oregano shit, man. The suspension is over, man, I need that good Simmons shit, the freshest NFL picks weed. I pay my mortgage on Simmons picks! Jesus fucking Christ ...

Dashcam Video Shows Jim Irsay Stumbling During DUI Stop
The dashcam video of Jim Irsay's stop in March for operating a vehicle while intoxicated was released today, and it shows the Indianapolis Colts owner stumble several times as officers ask him to perform sobriety tests....


Scrimshaw Pilsner: Even The Best Beers Can't Defeat Dirty Draft Lines
Happy Sub-Five-Percent Friday, where we try to find a nice, gentle beer to help you minimize the damage from your inevitable weekend binge. ...

Report: War Machine Attempted Jail Suicide
Former MMA fighter War Machine attempted to commit suicide in Clark County Detention Center Tuesday night, according to TMZ. A jailor went into War Machine's cell after he noticed him unresponsive, and found "a piece of linen around his neck which was tied to the leg of the bed." The jailor cut ...

Spa Dog Is Today's Chillest Dog
We all aspire to the emotional condition of this dog, depicted here in (presumably) his owner's (presumably) storage unit blissing out to some chill music while a (presumably) jealous-ass fellow dog looks on, jealously. Consider it a goal. Good luck. Find your beach. ...