im Page 622 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What's Joe Flacco's Record Deal Really Worth?
Let's put this simply: Joe Flacco's six-year, $121-million contract is actually for three years and $62 million....
Rodman: Kim Jong Un Wants Obama To Call Him
Dennis Rodman is back from his whirlwind tour of North Korea and he comes with some interesting news: Kim Jong Un is basically Mikey from Swingers....
A Performance Of The Ages
On Saturday, No. 3 Duke beat No. 5 Miami 79-76 in a revenge match for Hurricanes' January throttling—"they even slapp[ed] the floor in an apparent jab at the Blue Devils' tradition"!—and as Coach K. said, it was our privilege....
The NFL Appears Totally Ready For An Openly Gay Player, So Long As You Overlook Its Teams And Players
One of the most unintentionally hilarious sentences currently in print can be found on this SB Nation post by Robert Wheel, a.k.a. Bobby Big Wheel, called "What the NFL can do to support gay players." Beneath, a comma-spliced subhed reads: "The NFL is ready for a gay player, the problem is the rest ...
North Korea Invented Its Own, Totally Different Way Of Scoring Basketball Games
Dennis Rodman's bizarre visit to North Korea has led to many dissections of North Korea's strange relationship with basketball—or rather, the Kim family's strange relationship with basketball—and one happy consequence is the opportunity to remember that, despite the Kim family's love for the NBA, th...
Thief Breaks Into Popeye's, Eats 16 Slices Of Pie, Gets Tired From Eating All The Pie, Takes Nap, Gets Arrested
A enterprising and hungry man recently committed maybe the most agreeable crime in the history of Baltimore, and surely tested the limits of the Baltimore PD's tactical command units in the process, by breaking into a Popeye's, committing a daring robbery, and then......
The U.S. State Department Actually Clarified That Dennis Rodman "Has Never Been A Player In Our Diplomacy"
In case you were wondering:...
Reports: Joe Flacco—That Joe Flacco—Will Soon Be The Highest Paid Player In NFL History
Yep, Joe Flacco. The big-armed oaf. The doofy bridegroom. The guy whose dad said he was "dull" four times in two sentences five days before the Super Bowl. That guy. No, not the plumber who stripped the washers off your sink and left his wrench on your kitchen table—I mean the guy who backed up Tyle...
Entire School District Locked Down Because Someone Misheard A Fresh Prince Lyric
Life got flip-turned upside down this morning in a suburban Pittsburgh school district. Everyone was chillin' out, maxin', relaxin', all cool—at least until a doctor's office employee called a 19-year-old high school student to confirm an appointment. When the employee heard the student's outgoing v...
Here's A Weird Arnold-Schwarzenegger-Themed Music Video We Found
The Arnold Classic, one of the biggest stops on the professional bodybuilding tour, is going on in Columbus, Ohio, this weekend. To mark the occasion, here's "Arnold," by Australian DJ Luke Million, spliced with clips and samples from 1977's Pumping Iron. It's strange and we like it....
"Change This Face. Be Happy. Enjoy!" Says Ricky Rubio To A Bummed Out Alexey Shved
Man, why can't we live in a world where Ricky Rubio magically appears whenever we're having a bad day and tells us to turn our frowns upside down? Spilled coffee on your new shirt? Poof! There's Ricky reminding you that sea otters hold hands when they sleep next to each other so they don't float a...
Brewers' Racing Sausage Thieves Took Their Prize On A Boozy Bender
More details about the recent theft of Guido the Italian Sausage have emerged, and they come courtesy of those who carried out the heist. Ted Berg of USA Today Sports received a message from the sausage thieves, and under the condition of maintaining their anonymity, they told him all about the grea...
Kim Jong Un And Dennis Rodman Are Now Friends For Life
Curious about how gigantic weirdo Dennis Rodman's trip to North Korea is going? It's going great! Today, Rodman took in an exhibition basketball game with North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. They watched members of the Harlem Globetrotters take on a North Korean "dream team," and then became besties...
Chris Kluwe And Brendon Ayanbadejo File A "Cockmonster"-Free Marriage-Equality Brief With The Supreme Court
Vikings punter Chris Kluwe and Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo have been the most outspoken proponents of gay marriage in the NFL, if not in all of sports. This fall, they found themselves on the right side of gay-marriage referendums in their respective states, Minnesota and Maryland, whereupo...
![A Hero Emerges In The Milwaukee Racing Sausage-Napping [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18fzhpk4dbfedjpg.jpg)
A Hero Emerges In The Milwaukee Racing Sausage-Napping [UPDATE]
We told you earlier today about the theft of beloved Brewers Italian racing sausage, Guido. The whereabouts of Guido and his thieving conspirators—it's got to be at least a two-man job at this point—remain a mystery. Their days may be numbered however thanks to one brave woman's plan: free mustard....
Chamique Holdsclaw Indicted Following Shooting Incident With Ex-Girlfriend
Back in November, former WNBA star Chamique Holdsclaw was involved in an incident with ex-girlfriend and former teammate Jennifer Lacy. Holdsclaw allegedly smashed the window of Lacy's car with a baseball bat, then proceeded to stick a gun in the window and fire a shot through the car while Lacy wa...
"Sweat Is Just Your Fat Crying," Says Weird Sign In Alabama Weight Room
That's it, we've officially run out of motivational slogans to slap on the walls of places where college athletes congregate. The day that this sign was hung up in the University of Alabama football team's weight room is the day that someone should have taken a step back and said, "You know what, m...
One Of The Brewers' Racing Sausages Is Missing
Disaster in Milwaukee: Guido the Italian Sausage, pictured above to the far left, was last seen barhopping in a local suburb the weekend before last, only it's not clear who was wearing the $3,000 costume or where it went....
Who's The Latest Person To Say Dumb Things About Gay Players In The NFL?
Why it's former journeyman quarterback Jim Miller! Everyone, you remember Jim, right? Jim is best known for his stint in Chicago, including leading the Bears to the 2001 playoffs, but now works as a postgame analyst on CSN Chicago and lives a good, conservative, god-fearing life....
Mike Woodson's Shirt Is The Best Shirt
This amazing picture comes to us courtesy of the Wall Street Journal's Chris Herring. That's Knicks head coach Mike Woodson wearing a shirt that bears his own stoic visage above the word "Coach." It's so simple yet so hilarious, and it's the best wardrobe decision that any NBA coach has ever made....