im Page 681 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

John Cusack In A Goatee? Quoth The Raven: Meh.
John Cusack is one of those actors whom everybody likes. He was a consistently enjoyable presence in '80s films like Better Off Dead and Sixteen Candles, and he won the hearts of a generation of young women by being the most sensitive man ever in Say Anything. Since then, he's been an indie staple (...

Was This Former Saints Electrician The Source For ESPN's Wiretapping Story?
FOX8 in New Orleans claims to have identified ESPN's source for the Mickey Loomis wiretapping story, and if they're right, it wasn't anyone intimately connected with football operations. Instead, FOX8 (a station owned by Saints owner Tom Benson) claims it was Tim Landry, a sound and electrical worke...

Brad Miller, Facing Retirement, Hits One Final Three, Then Cries
It hasn't been an easy season for 13-year NBA veteran Brad Miller, who announced his impending retirement last month. He's only been averaging 9 minutes and 2.2 points per game with the Timberwolves. Nonetheless, in the final game of his career tonight, Miller tried to go out in style. After a cou...

PGA Tour Lawyers Try Really Hard To Scare Us Into Taking Down Their Dumb Video
Way back in January we posted this low-quality video, filmed off some schmo's TV screen, of a sound guy tripping and falling as Ryuji Imada prepared for his drive. It was not the pinnacle of sports commentary, but it was a guy falling down, and I thought it was pretty funny....

Former NFLer Found Guilty Of Having Sex At Gunpoint With 15-Year-Old Babysitter, Despite His Claim That She Was Totally 16
Nate Webster, a linebacker who played for the Buccaneers, Bengals and Broncos, was found guilty on a split verdict in a Cincinnati court today, for his relationship with the daughter of a Bengals employee....

The Dirty Secrets Of A Sports Arena, As Revealed By A Drunk Stadium Employee Emailing Us At 5:30 P.M.
Last month, I got an email from a guy who works Lightning games at the Tampa Bay Times Forum. Our informant was piss drunk and looking for a place to vent about his job. It will shock and stun you to learn that stadium arenas do not operate like they did on that one Matthew Perry sitcom. I'll let ou...

What <em>The Avengers</em> Means For The Future Of Comic-Book Movies
Tomorrow, Marvel's The Avengers will open in certain parts of the globe—not the U.S., which won't see the film until May 4—and Marvel's four-year odyssey of laying the groundwork for this action blockbuster will finally be over. It's been an impressive run commercially, if not always critically. (Ca...

Youth Baseball Coach Arrested After Allegedly Arguing With Umpire, Threatening Parent With Gun
OK, gang. Florida or Ohio? How about neither! This one happened in Scranton, Pa., where 39-year-old Babe Ruth League coach John Zahradnik was charged Saturday with reckless endangerment and harassment. It started when Zahradnik allegedly argued with an umpire, which escalated into an alleged argumen...

Tonight's Weather Forecast Will Not Be Seen Because Our Set Has Been Invaded By Bears
Havoc reigned in Scranton tonight when WNEP-TV's 11 p.m. newscast was interrupted by bears. Black bears, specifically, at least four of which decided to invade the outdoor set from which meteorologist Kurt Aaron was preparing to deliver his weather report. Aaron was, understandably, concerned for ...

The D Train Is Off The Rails: Dontrelle Willis Goes AWOL From Orioles' AAA Team
Look at that tall left-handed man up there. Does he look happy to you? Or does he look like an irritated guest of that cartoon bird?...

Are You Ready To Dance To The Music Of Caroline Wozniacki? (Features Dog, Tennis Ball)
Fame-chasing tennis underachiever Caroline Wozniacki still hasn't won a Grand Slam, but she has released her first music video, "Oxygen." It's predictably noisy, cheap, and Euro (a German or Belgian shepherd is the star of the video? So is a tennis ball?)...

Fox Sports Arizona Did A Text Poll Asking Who's The Best In The NL East, And They Listed Every Team Except The Mets
The above comes from the Diamondbacks-Braves game on Sunday afternoon, which Ian Kennedy and company wound up winning 6-4....

It's Official, World's Dumbest Criminal Found After Trying To Sell Weed To His Old Parole Officer
We find our man, Cedrick Barnes, in Florence, South Carolina. It seems Cedrick had some extra weed laying around and thought to himself, "I should really sell this stuff." So Cedrick did what any one of us would have: he started cold-calling everyone in his cell phone contacts to see if anyone want...

Today In Jose Canseco Tweets As Motivational Posters: Hunger
I'm going to be wrapping up Josayings because I've had the feeling like he's been in on the joke recently and there has been a lot of poking around and maybe he actually is in on it. Either way, it's better to burn out than fade away so I'll be dropping a few more this weekend that I never got arou...

Richard Marx Goes Yard Off Dennis Eckersley, Chicago Cubs Win World Series
I have no idea how I don't remember this video, because I definitely remember the song. Maybe you don't remember it either. Maybe we buried it deep within our collective subconscious....

Fox Sports Announcer Thinks He Is Interviewing Canucks' Ryan "The Guzzler" Kesler But Is Really Interviewing Kevin Bieksa
Noted troublemaker Kevin Bieksa of the Vancouver Canucks did a number on poor Mike Dunsmore of Fox Sports Radio following Game 4. Dunsmore apparently approached Bieksa thinking it was Kesler and Bieksa just played along. Right from jump street Bieksa references Kesler's controversial quotes about ...

Penn State Admits Official Fired Earlier This Week Was Fired For His Role In Sandusky Investigation
In an admission that shocks absolutely no one, unnamed sources within the Penn State athletic department have confirmed that associate athletic director Mark Sherburne was fired this week for his role in the investigation of child sex abuse claims against former coach Jerry Sandusky and the adminis...

Today In Jose Canseco Tweets As Motivational Posters: Baseball Smells
I'm going to be wrapping up Josayings because I've had the feeling like he's been in on the joke recently and there has been a lot of poking around and maybe he actually is in on it. Either way, it's better to burn out than fade away so I'll be dropping a few more this weekend that I never got aroun...

<i>New York Post</i> Front Page Kicks Nonsensical Ass
Fenway Park has been in the news a lot of late. There was the touching Field of Dreams-inspired story of the father and son who built their own replica Fenway in the vastness of Oregon. Then the drunken awkwardness of those loveable idiots, Cowboy Up himself and the Yankees' favorite son. And, of c...

Welsh Rugby Out To Kill All Kinds Of Popes, Not Just The Catholic Ones
This story is strange on a number of levels. In 2008, two Welsh doctors discovered that going back to 1883, five roman Catholic Popes had died whenever Wales rugby won the Grand Slam. The Grand Slam, of course, is when one team in the annual Six Nations Championship beats all the other teams in a g...