im Page 767 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Is A Photo Of Danzig Wearing A Danzig Shirt After Buying Cat Supplies
Glenn Danzig is Glenn Danzig from the band Danzig. Therefore, it is surreal to see Glenn Danzig wearing a t-shirt that promotes the band Danzig. It is doubly surreal when Glenn Danzig of the band Danzig wears a Danzig t-shirt while carrying—or possibly returning—various cat supplies....
The Ballad Of Chad Ochocino's Pregnant Pigeon
Presenting a saga rivaling anything Wagner ever wrote, told entirely in Tweets. The tale of Chad Ochocinco and his pregnant pigeon features sex, mystery and Wonder Bread....
The Doug Gottlieb-Jim Mora Mini-Fight: "Is This Your First Interview? Jesus Christ."
Jim Mora Jr. was on ESPN Radio yesterday and he talked with Doug Gottlieb about Michael Vick and Donovan McNabb. Mora found Gottlieb's line of questioning as asinine as we find Doug Gottlieb. It was all very delightful....
In Which We Defend The Sports Fella, And Piss Off Animal Rights Activists
I don't think I've ever seen so much backlash against a Bill Simmons column as there's been for his "I'm rooting for Michael Vick" screed today. I'm not sure it's warranted....
Tough-Talking Gators Fan Might Be Legally Prohibited From Attending Game
Remember that obnoxious Florida fan who challenged the state of Alabama to a fight and warned them about his karate skills, all the while wiping off palm sweat due to his close proximity to a woman? He's allegedly on probation in Florida....
The Baby-Holding, Foul-Ball-Catching Dads Are Not Going Away
Having learned nothing, a man attending last night's Tigers-Indians match caught a foul ball off the bounce, while holding a baby that may be his and standing perilously close to a railing. Someone put a stop to these monsters. [Sportress of Blogitude]...
Who Wants To See A Dead Mouse Found In A Loaf Of Bread?
Good god. It's like bread for people on the Atkins Diet. Oh, and the company was only fined $26,000 for this. [BBC]...
Sexual Assault Allegations Against Two Michigan State Players: Why Aren't Charges Being Brought?
Two MSU players were accused of sexually assaulting a woman on campus in August. Despite a police recommendation to prosecute, and one of the accused players later corroborating the victim's account, the prosecutor's office will not be pursuing the case....
Jags Receiver Gets Caught In Action Movie After Armed Intruder Busts In
Kassim Osgood and a ladyfriend were hanging out, when her ex-boyfriend showed up with a gun. Both were pistol-whipped, but are okay. Then, there's this: "The woman targeted him with her laser sight before both shot at each other and missed." [Times-Union]...
This Is What Happens When The Commonwealth Games Are Attacked By Monkeys And Snakes
Newspaper ledes you'll hopefully never see in America: "Fierce langur monkeys and snake charmers have been deployed at several Commonwealth Games venues across New Delhi to try to protect athletes and delegates from simian and reptile attack." [NZH](ViaTom Kolak)...
Formerly Censored Dwarf Painting Restored To Full Nudity
This 16th century Italian masterpiece was finally restored to its original butt-nakedness, after having been painted over for being obscene. Oh, and it's a two-sided canvas, so there's a rear view too....
Shaun Smith's Package Grabbing: A Music Video Retrospective
Shaun Smith's humorous, ungentlemanly conduct the last two weeks has been an endless source of joy, so why not set video of Smith's junk twisting to Da Lench Mob's "All On My Nut Sac?"...
Jim Furyk Won $11 Million With A $39 Used Putter
Furyk liked the pro shop purchase because it had "a nick on the topline that helped him line up the ball." Apparently Furyk likes his putters the way Tiger Woods likes his women: (finish this line in the comments). [Enterprise]...
Lions Player Holds Up One More Finger Than His Team Has Wins
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Let's See What Happens When A Baltimore Oriole Meets A Flight Attendant
And now, a feel-good post to close the day....
Here's A Video In Which Tim Lincecum Seemingly Says The Ball Is Juiced
This meeting of the Deadspin Lip-Reading Team is called to order. It starts at roughly 24 seconds of this video which will likely disappear with the quickness so get on it, yo....
Here's Video Of Bill Simmons Declaring His Intention To Urinate All Over An ESPN Studio, Or Something
The yuks keep coming with blinding speed as the Sports Fellas guest-hosting stint on PTI continues. One would assume that Tony's the incontinent one, being a cranky old asshole and all....
Deron Williams Backflipping Off A Freaking Cliff
An intrepid digital camera owner shot this footage of Deron Williams cliff-diving at Sand Hollow State Park in Utah and we thought that it really needed the be dubbed with a T.I. song to fully emphasize the badassery on display. [SLC Dunk]...
EXTRA! EXTRA! Jeter Has Best Year Yet!
Have you heard that Derek Jeter's having an off year? It's total horseshit! Derek Jeter is the sixth-best hitter in baseball this year. It's completely true!...
Here's A Video Of Tony Kornheiser Teaching Bill Simmons How To Wear A Tie
The Sports Fella's hosting PTI for the rest of the week, so it looks like we'll be watching PTI this week. There you go, indeed, Tony. H/T Trey Kerby....