im Page 778 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Joe Alexander
Hello and welcome to Incongruous Mix-Tape Theater, an occasional feature in which we look at fan-made athlete highlight reels set to wildly inapt music. Sort of like this one. Today's mix-tape: NBA free agent Joe Alexander; music by rappers The Team....

Ohio Governor Takes His Authoritarian Jackboot Off The Neck Of Live Tiger Mascot
Obie the Massillon tiger is saved! Gov. Ted Strickland announced yesterday he "will ensure the rules allow for the established mascot programs to continue," which means Obie will be free do whatever it is a caged sideline tiger does....

Keep Your Steinbrenner Hagiographies Off Jimmy Breslin's Lawn
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

ESPN Actually Spoofs Itself With Bill Simmons's <em>The Decision</em>
The Sports Fella took to Beadle & Colin's Smile Time Shit-Sack Variety Hour yesterday to announce whether he would renew his season tickets to the Clippers in a parody of that LeBron thing. There's more self-criticism here than Ohlmeyer's last column....

Top 15 Cringeworthy Tour De France Crashes
Crashes effectively ended Lance Armstrong's Tour de France this weekend, and they've bedeviled a great many other Tour riders over the years. Our friends at Ranker.com have put together a video listicle of the worst crashes in Tour history....

Toddler Mows Down Referee With Golf Cart
With a 2-year-old child wedged on the pedal, the golf cart careened out of control across a high school football field, leaving bodies in its wake. Well, one body....

Ohio Governor Tramples Small Town's Right To Have A Live Freaking Tiger At High School Football Games
Massillon, Ohio, is under siege from Gov. Ted Strickland and the Humane Society of the United States over the town's tradition of stockpiling tigers for use as mascots during Massillon Washington High School football games. The indignation is palpable!...

Timofey Mozgov Is Cocksucker
Today is day Timofey Mozgov becomes most unlikable person in Russian Basketball Super League, and perhaps all Russian sports. I think he is okay a year ago. No more. He is villain now....

"Nazi Octopus" Executed For Paul's Prophecy
Death threats didn't faze Paul, perhaps because of his large security detail. But that didn't stop an Argentine TV presenter from taking out the country's rage on an unrelated octopus, beheading and blending it....

Unemployed Wide Receiver: If I Was LeBron, I'd Be An Employed Wide Receiver
Let's be honest: Cleveland wasn't The Decision's biggest victim. Terrell Owens was. Don't believe me? Just interrupt Terrell Owens from his driveway sit-ups regimen and ask Terrell Owens yourself. That's what 104.5 The Zone radio in Nashville did the other day. For its 3 Hour Lunch....

What's The Difference Between John Elway And Barbaro?
Let's just get to what you probably want to know about me, Brian Hickey, the new weekend guy: How to throw me down into your basement well with Precious because you get rammy when swaddled in vulnerable soullessness on Saturdays and Sundays....

Great Moments In Comic Sans History
In light of Dan Gilbert's laudable, laughable open letter to LeBron James, we proudly present an alternate history, in which Comic Sans is the font of choice (complete with needless scare quotes)....

LeBron Watch, Day 50: What ESPN Should Have Asked LeBron James
On a night when LeBron James became the most hated man in basketball, only one network had a chance to ask him tough questions about a decision that will shape the future the NBA. And, of course, they didn't do that....

Potential Vandals Beware: There Are Witnesses
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Cleveland Fans React With Usual Grace And Tact
The message boards at CavFanatic, the largest Cavaliers fansite, are currently an apocalyptic wasteland, where not even hope will sprout through the salted earth. Here are some of the best comments, helpfully sorted into three categories:...

It Was The Best Of Mullets, It Was The Worst Of Mullets
The nation of Iran has officially made mullets illegal. But if you've got one, you got $5 off at the Pittsburgh Zoo yesterday! This being said, there's never a good time to be in Iran or Pittsburgh....

Psychic Octopus Predicts Spain, But It's A FRAUD!
Paul the octopus is 5-0 in picking winners in Germany's matches, and the world has been waiting for his semifinal selection. Unfortunately, there's tomfoolery afoot....

Deadspin Classic: Watch Artie Lange Crap All Over Joe Buck's First Show
The Fourth of July is all about bright, nighttime explosions, and today we give you Artie Lange exploding all over the debut of Joe Buck's short-lived show, The Nepotism and Dick Joke Variety Hour....

Sea Creatures, Soccer Powers Battle For Supremacy
Paul, the Berlin octopus has correctly predicted every German match so far, and he's picking them over Argentina. Sayco, the Argentine dolphin, thinks otherwise. Gentlemen, choose your slimy undersea prognosticators....

Phish Fans Call Out Fenway Girl Pissing In Public
A drunk, underage woman couldn't — or wouldn't — make it to the bathrooms at Fenway last night. This is her story....