im Page 789 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Three Steps: Skirt NCAA Rules, Peddle Frozen Pizza, Join Nuggets
Remember Brian Butch, the guy who was a McDonald's All-American but still redshirted at Wisconsin? The Nuggets signed him because...someone needs to hack Gasol. Enjoy Butch's old commercial for Pep's, a frozen pizza with "quality...Wisconsin...sauce." [Ball Don't Lie]...

Confused Sideline Reporter Unable To Follow Game He's Covering
SkyTV's Chris Kamara had one job at this weekend's Portsmouth-Blackburn match: Watch the game. And maybe try to pay attention to what happens. He failed miserably on both counts....

Ye Olde Shining Moment: A Basketball Montage To Remind Us How Good We Have It Now
Because neither video nor Luther Vandross was around in the 1940s, the NCAA Tournaments of those days concluded without the now-beloved "One Shining Moment" montage, which seems so very wrong. We've remedied the situation. Enjoy. [Footage via A Stern Warning]...

Joe DiMaggio Was A Wuss, And Other Things We Don't Tell Our Kids
Slate compares children's books about ballplayers ("Like many ballplayers, Joe enlisted to fight for his country in 1942") to the biographies written for adults ("[W]hen he concluded that he'd have to enlist … he started to cry"). [Slate]...

Blind Driving: Unlikely To Become The Next Paralympic Sport
A Turkish pop star set a world record for the fastest blind driver, going 180mph. He would have gone faster, but the pedestrians stuck on his grille probably increased the wind resistance. [Reuters]...

Basketball-Playing Rats Are Amazing, Gross
This video of rats playing basketball is mounting a furious challenge to our dog-playing-basketball video for supremacy in the ever-competitive category of mammals-playing-basketball videos. What's next, an Eddy-Curry-playing-basketball video?...

Dunker Kicks Defender In The Nuts, Hangs On Rim In Most Emasculating Facial Ever
Here's Tony Skinn, last seen on these shores helping George Mason to the Final Four, vaulting off some guy's coinpurse and dunking. Skinn, it seems, is no stranger to exploiting a man's pain threshold to attain basketball success. [TheHoopsDoctors.com]...

Everyone In Rochester Is Psyched For The Frozen Four
Yes, even the roadkill. Rochester Institute of Technology's surprise appearance in the NCAA hockey semifinals has Tiger Fever sweeping through campus, and rabies sweeping through the central nervous system of whoever set this up. [via this kid's Facebook]...

Here's A Video Of A Basketball-Playing Dog That You Will Watch All Day
This pup has the fundamentals and requisite pizazz to dominate a rec league and galvanize a small town, something that has not been seen since the Air Bud franchise stormed into theaters and stole our hearts and our $9.95. [YouTube]...

Annoying Flying Fish Slaps Woman In The Face
An influx of Asian carp to the Illinois River has given rise to extreme aerial bowfishing, a niche sport combining speedboats with archery. This is what happens when the fish fight back with some extreme aerial moves of their own....

And Nike Officially Ruins April Fool's Day
CBSSports.com and ESPN.com are both running some amazing stories today. Every single one manages to discuss how the fantastic athletic feats were pulled off thanks to Nike Air shoes. We've come a long way from Sidd Finch's single hiking boot....

"Dead" Wrestler Of The Week: The Ultimate Warrior
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: The Ultimate Warrior, who according to rumor died in 1991. This is an investigation into that "death." [Update, April 9, 2014: He's dead, accor...

Alabama Couple Ensures Child Can Never Leave The State
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Fighting Just Got A Little More Fabulous
Yuichiro Nagashima is a successful kickboxer, who just won a huge Japanese tournament. He's also really, really into cosplay....

This Is How People Disappoint You
So I made an agreement with someone and then they failed to follow through on a promise and now we're left with this big mess here that is quite awkward and sad and, well, that's it. Anyway, here's this....

Gus Johnson Soundboard And A Humping Bulldog: The Mashup We've All Been Waiting For
What happens when you mix a horny bulldog with a stuffed bear and the Gus Johnson soundboard? Magic happens....

Baltimore Orioles: The Stacked Deck
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Baltimore Orioles....

Searching For...This Lady's Dog
Have you seen Sadie? If you have, there could be two Lakers floor seats in it for you....

More About Pete Rose's Sex Life Than You Ever Knew You Wanted To Know
Rose and his Playboy-bound girlfriend did Howard Stern this morning. It wasn't pretty. They touched on Charlie Hustler's endowment, his stamina, and his semen-encrusted bedroom wall. Don't worry: if you don't click through, I won't be upset. [via SbB]...

ESPN Claim: John Clayton Does Not Have A Ponytail
A month ago, we got a glimpse of what looked to be the fabled ponytail of John Clayton. Now comes the official denial from ESPN....