im Page 869 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Oye Como Va! Twice The Santana Means Twice The Fun
Please do not confuse Johan Alexander Santana Araque, pitcher for the Mets, with Ervin Ramon Santana, pitcher for the Angels. One is from Venezuela (chief exports: Petroleum, bauxite and aluminum) and one is from the Dominican Republic (predominant religion: Roman Catholicism). Unfortunately, we ar...
Darren Daulton Promises He Won't Talk To Your Child About Martians
Former Phillies/Marlins catcher and semi-devout mystic Darren Daulton is heading a baseball camp at Stockton College in N.J. this August and is currently making the rounds in the Delaware Valley to promote it. That's fine — Daulton, for all of his flakiness and perceived wackiness still knows more a...
Heavyweight Champ Out To Terrify Erudite British Comedians
The man pictured here is Wladimir Klitschko. It is telling that you might know who he is; he's the IBF, WBO and IBO world heavyweight champion, which isn't nearly as cool as it was 15 years ago. But still: The job of the heavyweight champion of the world is to be the "scariest man on earth," and mak...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while remodeling Bubble Man's dorm room... • 5 p.m. — NASCAR: Coca-Cola 600, Concord, North Carolina. In a blind race test, what's more exciting: this race or the Pepsi 400? [FOX] • 7 p.m. — NCAA softball: Georgia at UCLA. There's no crying in softball, but there's no by-laws applicabl...
When The Simpsons Were Edgy, But Not Funny
There've been a lot of Simpsons games throughout the years, few of them any good. The one that stands the test of time was probably the original arcade game. I recommend it today as you watch the Indy 500. So I know what you're asking. "Where am I going to find the original arcade machine?" That rea...
Canadian Lady Sports Anchor Is A Hockey Expert In All Of Its Various Forms
Obviously, these Media Approval Rating things seem to be extremely popular with many readers far and wide over the vast ball-filled spectrum of the wild and woody sports blogosphere....
Bill Simmons Continues Passive-Aggressive Swipes At ESPN Via Blogspot
As fascinatingly silly as this whole Bill Simmons online temper tantrum is — plus the inevitable change of direction Page 2 must undertake should he no longer write for them — it's getting pretty hilarious how conspicous he's being about being pissed off at (supposedly) ESPN.com ....
Jim Leyland Gets HIs Jim Mora On ... But Awesomely
it's not a classic Lea Elia rant, but it's still fun to listen to Leyland pop off. "I'm a fucking man!" "Don't look at the fucking guy next to you." "Weak fuckin' shit!" "You can put that in your paper!"...
Use Your Urine To Kill Space Aliens
If you're like us, the art of urinating in a public restroom has become a rote, empty, stale ritual. We mean, come on: You just stand there. Where's the sport in that? Alas, we must now thank the fine people of Belgium for turning the act of urination into the competitive event we've all been beggin...
Media Approval Ratings: Tim McCarver
We're not sure we're going to still be doing these Media Approval Things in October, which is why we have to do Tim McCarver now. Because fans' opinions of McCarver are never more polarized than in October....
About Last Night
What you missed while observing just another typical day in Arkansas ... • NBA: Tears on Bourbon Street as Spurs dump Hornets, 91-82, in Game 7, to earn date with Lakers. • NHL: Red Wings beat Stars 4-1 to advance to finals. Um, hey ... where's the riot? • MLB: Albert Pujols clouts two homers, puts ...
I'm Doing It For You, Big Brown!
I won't lie; it's hard to be upbeat with Ted Kennedy still in the hospital. But to lift your spirits, here's something the Senator from Massachusetts no doubt would have attempted, had he been 40 years younger and on the infield at Pimlico on Sunday. Will this brave fan's attempted leap from one por...
Bill Simmons Is Enjoying His "Rebellious" Status
Ever since his gauntlet-throwing interview with us last week, Bill Simmons has been doodling with his blogspot page. Amusingly, he seems to be drawing a parallel between himself and Tom Cruise's character in The Firm....
Tim Donaghy Stayed Busy
Details of Tim Donaghy's exploits as a crooked NBA referee are beginning to emerge from the governments investigation, and the NBA must be thrilled. The New York Daily News is reporting that Donaghy influenced upwards of 100 games during his career....
Man: The Edmonds Thing Is Really Happening
Augh ... man, the Cubs really did sign Jim Edmonds. Other than Pujols or Willie McGee signing with those guys, we can't imagine our brains hurting more than they do to see this. And we're sure Cubs fans don't feel any better about it. Proceed with extreme caution, Jim; Cards fans can no longer prot...
Orioles Magic ... Uh, Catch It, Or Something
We're not sure anyone other than Kevin Millar is in on the joke here, but alas: Here's "Orioles Magic," the new/old/new theme song for the Baltimore Orioles, sung by the Baltimore Orioles, rocked out by the Baltimore Orioles....
Our Long National Nightmare Might Really Be Over
Although there have been rumors circulating for the last couple days via every gossip blog on the planet, there was still no real confirmation as to whether or not Cowboys' singing sensation Tony Romo and his personal ample-breasted quarterback Jessica Simpson had called it quits....
Simmons: "Certain Promises Were Not Kept"
We're not the only ones who noticed that Bill Simmons hasn't written a column in two weeks — until today, anyway — and hasn't been featured much on the home page of ESPN.com. We figured it was nothing; the man has taken extended breaks before. But, just to be thorough, we emailed him and asked if an...
Of Mice And Men
You can imagine my pride when I discovered that my two local baseball teams, the Giants and Athletics, were found to be among the worst transgressors in a recent survey of health code violations at stadium concessions. As far as Oakland's McAfee Coliseum goes, all I have to hear are the terms "overh...