im Page 919 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Is What You Get For Drafting Someone From Miami
More details have come out from the arrest of Redskins safety Sean Taylor, and they're ugly. According to The Washington Post and police reports:...
Bill Simmons Translator: We Were Little, Swarthy People. No, Really
ESPN Page 2 columnist/national movement Bill Simmons has filed an unusually brief missive about last night's Game 7. You know what that means: It's time for The Bill Simmons Translator!...
Bill Simmons Translator: He Loved "The The!"
Now that ESPN Serious Journalist Bill Simmons has gotten pretty much every single prediction of the NBA Finals completely wrong, we thought we'd check in with him after last night's Game 6 with ... yes ... The Bill Simmons Translator!...
When A Fine Isn't Really A Fine At All
Whenever an athlete does something wrong — skip a practice, get caught with some of that ganja, stab a coach in the face — they end up either be suspended or, more often, having to a pay a fine. Typically, fans scoff at fines; players make so much that a fine is no punishment at all....
CSI: Jamal Lewis Edition
Ravens running back Jamal Lewis was released from prison yesterday, and his reward is having to talk to a room full of reporters. (He probably wishes he had stayed in jail.)...
Guess The Athlete!
Which former football player said the following, during an interview with a video game Web site about the upcoming "Blitz: The League," which follows professional players' lives both on and off the field?...
Another Bill Simmons Cartoon: Cell Phone
Yay! This Week's "Episode:" "Cell Phone"...
Lewis Free To Roam Backfields Again
Our long national nightmare is over: Ravens running back Jamal Lewis is released from prison today. No word yet as to what prison tats Lewis will come out with, or whether he'll have made a very special new best friends named Bunny (or Sarge). He does want to skip his halfway house in Atlanta to h...
That Sound You Hear Is Teri Hatcher's Rapid Footsteps
A couple of weeks ago, word escaped that Desperate Housewives star Teri Hatcher had hooked up with former Detroit Piston and current Best Damn Sports Show co-host John Salley. Well, we don't expect that relationship to last much longer....
Tell Us Where On The Doll The Coach Touched Himself
From the Motivational Speaker File: Miami high school baseball coach Lazer Callazo resigned yesterday after a curious attempt to pump up his team. To quote The Miami Herald:...
Jamal Lewis Soon To Be Nobody's Bitch
We are but a week away from Jamal Lewis' freedom. On June 2, the Ravens running back will finish his four-month prison sentence for drug trafficking. Apparently he's been doing fine during incarcertion, working in the prison toolshed and checking out library books. (Right.) How will Jamal adjust t...
Tampa Does What It Can To Please Bill Simmons
In a surprise announcement yesterday, the city of Tampa was awarded the Super Bowl in 2009. In a nod to the constant, insufferable bitching by everybody's favorite Interweb columnist, SportsFrog.com points out a key factor in the decision:...
Tyrone Calico: Parking Novice
Any teenage boy could tell you the importance of parking. When your parents won't leave the house and you can't afford a hotel, the only place you can make out with girls is in your car. There are some key rules, though:...
Bill Simmons Changes Format For 5,234th Time
You know what we admire about Bill Simmons? His rock-solid consistency. Once again, Bill is explaining to us again why his site updates with the regularity of a malfunctioning strobe light. Supposedly — and this was a little confusing — Bill's going to post short items on More Cowbell (exactly th...
New Bill Simmons Cartoon Arrives; Oscar In The Mail
The moment you've all been waiting in lines for months for is here: "Season Two" of the Bill Simmons cartoons!...
Your Bill Simmons Translator
It's that time of day: The Bill Simmons Translator! The highlights of today's More Cowbell column:...
What's Bill's Cartoon About?
Tomorrow is the day we have all been waiting for: A new Bill Simmons cartoon! It has been nearly three months since we last saw the little animated Bill — save that weird scary one at the top of his page that blinks — and, hey, who hasn't missed them?...
Welcome Back, Bill!
Bill Simmons has returned, with, of course, another excuse. Posting anothershambling "More Cowbell" column (a name that had gotten old before it even started), Big Bill apologizes, saying that he's still deep in edits on his book that we've already read. Other vintage Bill highlights, with what he's...
THE Ohio State University
You know you're having a rough week when your kicker is busted for selling weed. Jonathan Skeete, a freshman kicker for Ohio State, was busted late last week for selling a half pound of marijuana to an undercover officer, according to the Ohio State student newspaper, The Lantern (good job, kids!). ...
Bill Simmons Watch: Where's Bill?
The backwards-hat-wearing world screams to the heavens: Where's Bill? Everybody's favorite couch potato/Pretend O.C. Fan/treadmill philosopher/new dad has been away from ESPN's Page 2 for nearly two weeks now as his wife (the Sports "Gal," as is the local parlance) gave birth to their first child, a...