im Page 871 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Brazil's Ballooning Death Count
So, do you remember that time when you did one too many hits off the gravity bong and you decided to a walk outside to get some fresh air, but then you bugged out and ran back inside because you thought you saw a priest being carried away by a bunch of helium party balloons?...

The Boston Globe Used To Have A Sports Section
Contrary to popular opinion, we love newspapers. We once waited up outside our dorm for our first ever published article, a review of Woody Allen's Manhattan Murder Mystery. (When the delivery guy showed up, we pretty much attacked him. It was 5:30 a.m., and we were somewhat deranged.) Of course, th...

About Last Night
What you missed while nervously checking your pants every 10 minutes ... • NBA: The Spurs always seem to show up for the playoffs, eh? San Antonio 102, Phoenix 96. • NFL: Shaun is long gone. Sad, really. • MLB: Abreu's power surge supports Yankees' undefeated Wang. Or something like that....

You're No Yngwie Malmsteen, Banana Hands
Don't you go Hollywood, Jake....

Tragedy In The Big D
The birthday party for the quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys was celebrated the last night at a Dallas night club where he was joined by friends and family members. Tensions ran high for a little bit when an unexpected guest dropped by and moved through the throngs of people toward the guest of hon...

Hurry, Before Alex Rodriguez Steals This Job
On Friday, Gawker received an email from the editor of femalemuscle.com, who is on the look out for a full-time blogger to take make "femalemuscle.com into the Gawker of her genre." Well, knowing that there are a few of you out there who are sports blog hobbyists looking to go pro, it only seemed na...

Tim Duncan: Awesomming From Everywhere (Even Three-Point Range)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who's freaking excited about the freaking playoffs. So if you hear about him doing anything else at any time, it wasn't really him. Unless he's talking about beersomnia and bad movies at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Tim Duncan was legen...wait for it...dary. Timm...

Tim Duncan, With Emotion AND 3-Point Range
San Antonio won 117-115 in double overtime to take the 1-0 series lead. Timothy Duncan finished with a cool ranch 40 points. Stay tuned for Game 2, when more rarities surface: Shaquille O'Neal makes a 3-point shot. Bruce Bowen helps up the guy he just knocked down. And Steve Nash guards someone....

This Week's Tasered Athlete: Tim Worley
Wait, you don't remember him? Me neither, so let's revisit his career. Tim Worley was a great running back for the University of Georgia (an All-American, at that) and the seventh overall draft pick by the Pittsburgh Steelers in 1989. He didn't have much of a pro career, lasting only four seasons, r...

The Japanese Don't Believe In Tommy John Surgery
The durability of major league pitchers is a fun debate to have with old baseball guys who long for the days before middle relievers and letting starters accumulate pitch counts until their tendons snapped in half. Those purists would most likely agree with the coach of Kawamato's technical high sch...

Cal Ripken Debunks A Great Urban Legend
Everybody has a favorite sports urban legend. Some like the Rafael Palmeiro Sleeps With Ryne Sandberg's Wife one. Others are fans of the Kevin Mitchell Cuts The Heads Of Cats one. Our preference has always been the Orioles Canceled A Game Because Cal Ripken Couldn't Play Because He Found Kevin Costn...

Roethlisberger Attempts To Renew Classic Steelers/Cowboys Rivalry
Perhaps he was coaxed into saying it by a sound bite-hungry Mike Tirico and Michelle Tafoya. Maybe he was just trying to make the December 7 game between the Cowboys and Steelers a little more melodramatic. Whatever the reason, Big Ben Roethlisberger, drinking champion and clumsy motorcyclist, has s...

Trevor Immelman, Big Black Dildos, Ham Sandwiches, Whippings And The Abandonment Of Game Plans
This is BALLS DEEP With Big Daddy Drew (Balls® is a registered trademark and has been used with the expressed written consent of AJ Daulerio). It's gonna be like an SI Point After column, only with dick jokes. You can email him here....

A Sad Good Night For Jose Lima
We feel like we write this every few months, but this time it looks like it's for real. Yes, the Jose Lima Era in baseball appears to have actually ended....

Timberwolves Double Down On The Lottery
When you're the Minnesota Timberwolves, you have to lure in season ticket buyers by any means necessary. So they've come up with quite the novel plan: They're tying ticket prices to which lottery pick the team gets....

Stephen Colbert Unveils Latest In Philadelphia Sporting Attire
Stephen Colbert is in Philadelphia this week to film his PA primary-centric version of "The Colbert Report" and is ingratiating himself with the local animals quite nicely. Last night, he showed off this multi-teamed jersey that would surely be a big hit with some of the more ardent and more fashio...

Celebrating Jackie Robinson Day With Canadian Highlights And Lou Gossett Jr.
When honoring the great Jackie Robinson and all he has meant to baseball, my first thought was the same as the Dodgers': Roll out Chaka Khan. What, no Rufus? Tell me something good .... Of course Lou Gossett Jr. was also there, so it made perfect sense. Look, I don't like the fact that Jackie Robins...

ESPN Nixes Bill Simmons-Barack Obama Podcast
If Bill Simmons seems grouchier in his MVP column today, or in his podcast later this week, you'll have to forgive him. He was scheduled to have Sen. Barack Obama as a guest, but, for reasons that haven't quite made themselves clear, ESPN canceled the appearance. Obama was all ready to go, but the n...

The Glue-Handed Patroller Of The Middle Exterior
Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Red Smiths, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's...

Meet All The Herschel Walkers Tonight
Tonight, ABC's Nightline has an interview with former running back Herschel Walker about his battle with multiple-personality disorder. We find out that Herschel went so some very spooky places while in the throes of his disease, like suicidal thoughts and unpredictable violent urges. Walker's ex-wi...